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    waterland's Avatar
    waterland Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 9, 2008, 05:59 PM
    16 girl - 21 guy legal?
    Hi
    I am confused and need help I live in canada, ontario and need clairifications on legal relationships..

    I am 16 dating a guy who is 21 years of age and we have been seeing each other for about 7 months I have known him for about a year.

    He told me that this is the real thing and I know it is to anyway he treats me the way I should be treated and I do the same for him... however... we are not 100% sure that it is legal.

    I have heard a few different htings about this subject so I'm not sure which is true

    I have heard that:
    Legal age of consent is 16 (which I no to be true)
    When your 16 you can have sexual relations with anyone who is 4 years older than you
    When you are 18 you can have sexual relations with anyone you choose
    I am a littke unclear on the last two...

    Has it changed at all??



    Help anyone??
    RUSupre's Avatar
    RUSupre Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    May 9, 2008, 06:17 PM
    I do not know much, but I would suggest waiting until marriage to do that. You can live with it.
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
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    #3

    May 9, 2008, 06:26 PM
    Let me clear up the Canadian law for you.

    The age of consent is 16 (or soon to be 16). That means, if you are 16 or older, you can have sex with anyone. So a 57 year old can have sex with a 16 year old. An 18 year old can have sex with a 32 year old. A 17 year old can have sex with an 81 year old…etc.

    It use to be 14, but Prime Minister Harper and the House of Commons recently changed it to 16. Although, I do not know when the law takes effect.

    Anyway, since you are 16, you have NOTHING to worry about.

    If you are 14 or 15, the new law has a clause of 5 years. So a 19 year old can have sex with a 14 year old, etc.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #4

    May 9, 2008, 06:52 PM
    The law was passed and its now in effect. So the age of consent is 16. There is an age difference clause of 5 years. But I'm not clear if it applies to 16-18.

    There are no laws about dating, the issue comes into play only when there is sexual activity.

    However, I would go VERY slow here. A 21 year old and a 16 year old are at very different places maturity wise. If he is pressuring you to have sex, I would be very concerned. If you are already having sex then I have even greater questions about this relationship.

    Where are your parents in this?

    I will also say that NO ONE should be having sexual intercourse unless they are prepared to have a child.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    May 9, 2008, 07:17 PM
    I would say that of course if your parents, would order this adult to stay away from their child, there could be several other laws that the parents could come up with if they had the right judge to use.

    And if the 16 is disobeying her parents by seeing a grown man, I am sure they have legal methods to use in control of the 16 year old.
    CaptainForest's Avatar
    CaptainForest Posts: 3,645, Reputation: 393
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    #6

    May 10, 2008, 06:29 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem
    There is an age difference clause of 5 years. But I'm not clear if it applies to 16-18.
    Scott,

    The age difference clause of 5 years pertains ONLY to 14 and 15 year old. The base age which was 14 is now 16. Therefore once a person turns 16, they can have sex with anyone they want (that is older). If they want to have sex with someone younger, they are bound by other restrictions.

    So in this case, since they are 16 and 21, they are more than allowed to have consensual sex.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #7

    May 10, 2008, 06:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by CaptainForest
    So in this case, since they are 16 and 21, they are more than allowed to have consensual sex.
    Legally, yes.. Morally, that's a different story.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #8

    May 11, 2008, 07:40 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem
    The law was passed and its now in effect. So the age of consent is 16. There is an age difference clause of 5 years. But I'm not clear if it applies to 16-18.

    There are no laws about dating, the issue comes into play only when there is sexual activity.

    However, I would go VERY slow here. A 21 year old and a 16 year old are at very different places maturity wise. If he is pressuring you to have sex, I would be very concerned. If you are already having sex then I have even greater questions about this relationship.

    Where are your parents in this?

    I will also say that NO ONE should be having sexual intercourse unless they are prepared to have a child.

    Once again - aside from the fact that she would be easily led and influenced, why would a 21 year old date a 16 year old high school student?
    waterland's Avatar
    waterland Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    May 13, 2008, 12:31 PM
    Just to clear things up
    I did NOT ask for a moral lesson just if it was LEGAL or not
    And as far a the maturity factor goes I am just as mature if not more than him...
    And he is NOT using me for sex not even a question for me
    It is a connection that I cannoot explain and I'm not going to try (and I no your all thinking that that is a typical 16 year old response)
    And I'm not stupid I no exactly what I'm doing
    And mi mom is fully aware that we are together and likes him a lot

    Hope that clears things up...
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #10

    May 13, 2008, 12:42 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by waterland
    just to clear things up
    i did NOT ask for a moral lesson just if it was LEGAL or not
    and as far a the maturity factor goes i am just as mature if not more than him...
    and he is NOT using me for sex not even a question for me
    it is a connection that i cannoot explain and im not going to try (and i no your all thinking that that is a typical 16 year old response)
    and im not stupid i no exactly what im doing
    and mi mom is fully aware that we are together and likes him alot

    hope that clears things up...

    So you at 16 are more mature than he is at 21? Well, that explains a lot.

    If your Mom is so accepting of this, why are you posting here instead of just asking her?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #11

    May 13, 2008, 12:45 PM
    As to the morality lesson, if you ask a question that involves morality, that's what you are going to get. Obviously we don't know you or him, so you are better able to judge. However, its does appear fishy to us and causes us concern for you. Frankly, if you are more mature than a 21 yr old, that doesn't speak well for your relationship either.

    If you want to ignore our advice and concern, feel free. But don't complain about getting it.

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