[veronica130]

I have been wondering how I could get emancipated.. ever since I was 14 I wanted too but now that I am almost 17 in 3 months I really don't know what to do... my parents are making my life impossible my grades have been dropping my parents won't let me go any where all because my dad found out I had a boyfriend... my mom knew about him and my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. My dad and I have never had a good relshonship. I have pictures of how he hit me I got a mild concusion from him hitting me. Since then he stopped with the hitting and now he is trying to seem like the perfect father and making me look like an out of control daughter I had honor roll I don't drink and I'm not on drugs the only problem he has had was because I have a boyfriend. He called the cops on me 4 times for no good reason he even said I was suicidal when he was the one saying he would kill himself I don't want to die but he claimed that. He also won't let me have any open classes after I earned that privilege. He has taken my phone car and friends he has taken every thing from me. I feel so depressed and he thinks of new things to make my life miserable he won't even let me get a job I speak 3 languages and am applying for a job that pays $10 an hour for billingual I know it would be hard but I can support myself. But I can no longer live like this.. please help I want to know more about emancipation... how long it might take.. and would I finally be able to get out of this house. Please I don't know what else to do! I want to get out and I can't wait a year its to long I'm scared what might happen to me I already am depressed because of this all... please...

[RickJ]

Here is an overview of what you need to know about emancipation:
http://www.jlc.org/home/mediacenter/...mancipUSA.html

What state are you in?

Do you have the ability to support yourself on your own?

[fredg]

Hi,
I don't know the State you live in, but you surely must have a Social Services organization of some kind. In VA, it's called the State Department of Social Services. Your county or parrish, whatever, should have something similar.
Go talk with them, tell them your issues, and if they personally can't help, they will be able to guide you to the organization who can help you. Child abuse is illegal in every state I know. I do wish you the best of everything, and good luck.

[veronica130]

Here is an overview of what you need to know about emancipation:
http://www.jlc.org/home/mediacenter/...mancipUSA.html

What state are you in?

Do you have the ability to support yourself on your own?

I am currently searching for a job and I'm waiting to get a reply from the job I have just applied for it pays $10 an hour and I know it would be hard but I know I could make it I just need a job and I finally am getting one because my dad isn't speaking to me so he isn't doing anything about it. I live in South Dakota.

[veronica130]

Hi,
I don't know the State you live in, but you surely must have a Social Services organization of some kind. In VA, it's called the State Department of Social Services. Your county or parrish, whatever, should have something similar.
Go talk with them, tell them your issues, and if they personally can't help, they will be able to guide you to the organization who can help you. Child abuse is illegal in every state I know. I do wish you the best of everything, and good luck.

I would do something with Social Services but I don't want to because I have a younger brother and him and my dad get along well my dads problem is just with me.. I think I remind him too much of himself I don't know.. He tries to control everything in my life I understand he is my dad and wants best but he's going way over the top and my mom isn't any help any more... And its South Dakota. And I don't know how long it would take to get Emancipated or how much it would cost... And thank you I just hope I can figure this out and soon I don't know how much longer I can deal with this all...

[Fr_Chuck]

OF course I would be very interested in hearing both parents side of the varioius stories.


** There is never an excuse for physicaal abuse by a parent, but as a father who raised 4 teen boys I can fully understand how they can make someone angry esp if a person has temper issues. This is not an excuse but it appears he has controlled that or perhaps gotten help.

As for as boy friend, it is very likey he believes that either this specific boyfriend is not right for you, or he may not wish you to date at this time.
While 16 is a age when dating does happen, it also depends to what degree and how seroius a relatonship appeared to be going.

And basically if he is merely restricting your fun items telephone, going out, TV and the such, this is completely within a parents right to do so, if a child is not following the parents instructions. While requireing them to stop seeing someone is hard to enforce it will could be for your own good.

The only problem I saw was that he hit you, and you admit he knew this was wrong and stopped doing it. Children and Family service would investigate but if there is no current danger and the problem has been solved I doubt they would do anything.

Opinion that of course goes against all th others and is of course not what you want to hear.

You have very loving parents that while very over protective what the very best for you. They don't want you to ruin your life with some boy and what you to be the best you can be .

[Sosdog]

Well, I am also in South Dakota and I can tell you that you can emancipate yourself at age 16 in South Dakota if you so choose. Go to the courthouse and tell the social service secretary that you would like to file for emancipation from your parents. After age 16, with mental competence proven, it is relatively easy to get it done. In this state anyway. As long as you can show that you are willing to accept the responsibility then it should go quite smoothly.

Sos

[veronica130]

well, i am also in south dakota and i can tell you that you can emancipate yourself at age 16 in south dakota if you so choose. go to the courthouse and tell the social service secretary that you would like to file for emancipation from your parents. after age 16, with mental competence proven, it is relatively easy to get it done. in this state anyway. as long as you can show that you are willing to accept the responsibility then it should go quite smoothly.

sos

Thank you so much you really are a big help... you don't happen to know how much money it would take do you? I was just wondering so I can be prepared to pay for it too... thank you so much you really helped me

[Sosdog]

If you go through social services then it doesn't cost you anything. They will get you an attorney if needed (they have a battery of attorneys to use) and you do all the paperwork yourself really.

The only bad thing is, if your parents challenge the emancipation, and it ends up going to court then you may well be 18 before its all done. You will have to be put on a waiting list for the attorney and that could take up to a year.

Sos

[veronica130]

OF course I would be very interested in hearing both parents side of the varioius stories.


** There is never an excuse for physicaal abuse by a parent, but as a father who raised 4 teen boys I can fully understand how they can make someone angry esp if a person has temper issues. This is not an excuse but it appears he has controled that or perhaps gotten help.

As for as boy friend, it is very likey he beleives that either this specific boyfriend is not right for you, or he may not wish you to date at this time.
While 16 is a age when dating does happen, it also depends to what degree and how seroius a relatonship appeared to be going.

And basicly if he is merely restricting your fun items telephone, going out, TV and the such, this is completely within a parents right to do so, if a child is not following the parents instructions. While requireing them to stop seeing someone is hard to enforce it will could be for your own good.

The only problem I saw was that he hit you, and you admit he knew this was wrong and stopped doing it. Children and Family service would investigate but if there is no current danger and the problem has been solved I doubt they would do anything.

Personal opinion that of course goes against all th others and is of course not what you want to hear.

You have very loving parents that while very over protective what the very best for you. They don't want you to ruin your life with some boy and what you to be the best you can be .

Thank you I do understand what you are saying and I have thought about how they must be feeling but they do things way over the top I know they want the best for me but they don't see what they do how it makes me feel the effects it has on me. My dad called me a name that I rather not say it was horrible I could not believe my own father would say such a thing my own mom was mad at my dad now he refuses to talk to me he himself said that he is worried about his reputation he really doesn't even want to sit down and talk to me. I am gradutating high school early which is Jan. of 07 and what ever I do I never make him happy but my brother does he favors my brother and really doesn't care about me he cares more about his reputation in our city he said that himself. I go to a catholic church and I rather be with my parents until I am 18 but I can't live like this any longer I try to make things better but he doesn't at all. I know people rather hear both sides but my dad tries to make himself look like he loves me more than anything I know he does but things he does isn't really showing anything. He even said that he will starve himself and then accused me of being suicidal. I do understand what you are saying and thank you but I think I am better off alone with out him even though it will be the hardest thing but I am planning to go to college and I have plans for my future.

[veronica130]

if you go through social services then it doesnt cost you anything. they will get you an attorney if needed (they have a battery of attorneys to use) and you do all the paperwork yourself really.

the only bad thing is, if your parents challenge the emancipation, and it ends up going to court then you may well be 18 before its all done. you will have to be put on a waiting list for the attorney and that could take up to a year.

sos

Oh I see.. that was another question I had I wasn't sure how long it might take because my mom was willinging to sign but now she's scared of my dad so she does what he says he said to the cops he won't ever let me go until I am 18 and if after I am 18 and I don't do what he wants then he won't ever speak to me even though he already doesn't... and thank you I will think about this more and see what I will do because its not worth the trouble if by the time its done ill be 18 id if I could do it within a couple months then I would try it I think I will go to social services and see what happens and if it might take to long then I guess I have to deal with it like I've had too... thank you

[CaptainForest]

Perhaps you should talk with your mother and her and you and your brother leave him.

A man who hits his daughter, probably hits his wife too. Does he? Or maybe you don’t know.

You should go to your local Department of Child and Family Services and report this. You say he gets along great with your younger brother, that’s nice. But, does he beat your mother?

[veronica130]

No he doesn't hit my mom. He only hit me and now has stopped I think he might be scared of what could happen to him. I told my mom we should leave and she was going to until she saw that he changed and wouldn't hit me that what he said and isn't surprisingly my mom feels bad for my brother and she loves my dad but she said first come her kids. I told her she should stay with him because the only problem is between my dad and me but now she won't let me leave and in a year I will be 18 but I don't know I could take it with him he tries to make me madder by doing things like taking things away or saying hurtful things to me. I have been in counseling he doesn't know because he would flip out my mom went and she told him he refuses to go so now I'm stuck hiding that from him because I don't want him mad again more than he is now..

[veronica130]

if you go through social services then it doesnt cost you anything. they will get you an attorney if needed (they have a battery of attorneys to use) and you do all the paperwork yourself really.

the only bad thing is, if your parents challenge the emancipation, and it ends up going to court then you may well be 18 before its all done. you will have to be put on a waiting list for the attorney and that could take up to a year.

sos

OK I think I will need to see how long it could take in my case then because I know my dad will fight it because he doesn't want his reputation to look like a bad father so he will fight it and thanks I will see how long it might take and see how close I would be to my 18th b-day then

[CaptainForest]

ok i think i will need to see how long it could take in my case then because i know my dad will fight it because he doesnt want his reputation to look like a bad father so he will fight it and thanks i will see how long it might take and see how close i would be to my 18th b-day then

Yes, but they will remove you from the home in the mean time.

That way, you don’t have to live in the same home as him. Isn’t that what you want?

The fact you are afraid he might get mad and hurt you, does that not tell you that you need to get out of there?

[veronica130]

I really do want to leave but I don't want to live with foster parents people I don't know... that's what I'm scared of too... because I decided if he ever hits me I will call the cops and press charges on him and I have a feeling he might not again because of what the cops and child protective services said... I love my dad and its hard because I just wish he could change and agree on something with me I rather leave but I rather make it on my own and learn responsibily rather than live with people I don't know... I have been talking to my counselor and I have another meeting with her and she said she will talk to me about my options but if I have to I leave in jan. since I'm graduating early it is like 11 months but I will have a place in dec. and ready to move out then hopefully he keeps his promises of leaving me alone then... I think I will sit my mom down today when she gets off work which should be soon and tell her what I think because you do make good points and everyone replying to me so it giving me more to think about than I already have thank you.

[Sosdog]

Graduating form high school is like turning 18. And emancipation does not mean neglect/abuse. If you choose to emancipate you will not have to reveal anything about your father. But, getting it all done in 11 months is not likely.

And..

There is a misconception somewhere. You won't get moved to a foster home or anywhere else. You will live with your parents until the emancipation is granted/refused.

Sos

[veronica130]

Oh OK so I guess I can wait until jan of 07 its not to far away I guess I mean its better so they can't ever use that against me.. and its not worth going through all that and having to live in the same house while the courts decide. I guess I will wait until jan. then leave as soon as the semester ends... thank you..