[-i-love-my-boyfriend]

Please I need help I reasently got pregnant, I can't keep it, I'm in law school in my first year and my boyfriend will leave me.. how can I get rid of it besides abortion... I'm scared.. and I really don't want it.. :confused:

[ChihuahuaMomma]

You can have the baby and give it up for adoption. Other than that, there is no way other than abortion. And I'm sure to be so blunt, if your boyfriend would leave you for being pregnant (which is partially his fault) then he's a jerk. And you should leave him.

[passmeby]

Please, consider giving the baby up for adoption. It's only 9 short months out of your whole life that you will have to carry the child... that's nothing! At least one month has already gone by probably, maybe more... There are some wonderful people out there that would just die for a baby and think how much of a great thing you could do for them! I have some family members that adopted and they are forever grateful. Start talking to adoption agencies and adoptive families, many times if you are in financial trouble or need a place to live and food and all that, they will pay for your living expenses and Dr visits as well. They will take good care of you!

I hope you're not asking of a way to harm yourself in order to hurt/kill the baby, that would be very dangerous. There is nothing you can do besides have a professional perform an abortion. There is nothing you can eat or drink that will kill the baby but not kill you in the process. Please be safe, whatever you decide. I pray that you decide to give birth to the baby and please trust me that you will be taken care of, all you have to do is seek and ask for the help you need. If you decide you can't go through with it, then a legal professional abortion is the only way.

And to echo what the other poster said, if your BF will leave you for being pregnant, then he's a real jerk and doesn't deserve to be with you. He had sex with you and he is not willing to face the consequences. That's not cool.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

I just want to point out that there is a third alternative, only if you became pregnant less than three days ago. That's the Emergency Contraceptive pill.

Otherwise, adoption and abortion are your only options. And please don't let other's beliefs or opinions sway you one way or the other. This is a decision that you and only you can make.

I do however, agree about the boyfriend. He's not worth your time. You say you are in law school. You are a smart girl. Don't let him weigh you down.

I want to say something else as well. If he would leave you if he finds out that you are pregnant, and you are willing to do something to end the pregnancy and not tell him about it. You have a trust issue in your relationship. This is something that you should be able to share with him. If you are scared of his reaction and the consequences, this doesn't seem like a healthy relationship.

Sorry to be so harsh and straight forward, but these are things that I think you need to face.

[-i-love-my-boyfriend]

I just want to point out that there is a third alternative, only if you became pregnant less than three days ago. That's the Emergency Contraceptive pill.

Otherwise, adoption and abortion are your only options. And please don't let other's beliefs or opinions sway you one way or the other. This is a decision that you and only you can make.

I do however, agree about the bf. He's not worth your time. You say you are in law school. You are a smart girl. Don't let him weigh you down.

I want to say something else as well. If he would leave you if he finds out that you are pregnant, and you are willing to do something to end the pregnancy and not tell him about it. You have a trust issue in your relationship. This is something that you should be able to share with him. If you are scared of his reaction and the consequences, this doesn't seem like a healthy relationship.

Sorry to be so harsh and straight forward, but these are things that I think you need to face.

Hey thanks a lot, it means a lot :) but I'm just nervous to loose him because I love him, he's only 17 and just finishing school. Do you know any adoption familys or companys?

[ChihuahuaMomma]

The Adoption Authority of Ireland

I hope that helps.

[Synnen]

Please, consider giving the baby up for adoption. It's only 9 short months out of your whole life that you will have to carry the child.....that's nothing!! At least one month has already gone by probably, maybe more....There are some wonderful people out there that would just die for a baby and think how much of a great thing you could do for them!! I have some family members that adopted and they are forever greatful. Start talking to adoption agencies and adoptive families, many times if you are in financial trouble or need a place to live and food and all that, they will pay for your living expenses and Dr visits as well. They will take good care of you!!

I hope you're not asking of a way to harm yourself in order to hurt/kill the baby, that would be very dangerous. There is nothing you can do besides have a professional perform an abortion. There is nothing you can eat or drink that will kill the baby but not kill you in the process. Please be safe, whatever you decide. I pray that you decide to give birth to the baby and please trust me that you will be taken care of, all you have to do is seek and ask for the help you need. If you decide you can't go through with it, then a legal professional abortion is the only way.

And to echo what the other poster said, if your BF will leave you for being pregnant, then he's a real jerk and doesn't deserve to be with you. He had sex with you and he is not willing to face the consequences. That's not cool.

ONLY 9 short months? Are you out of your mind?

You then have the rest of your life to live with people telling you that you must not have loved your child that you could give it away. Or the flip side of that is people telling you how "wonderful" and "generous" you were to "give a couple" the child they always wanted --when really, you're giving your child the parents you aren't able to be at that point in time.

After carrying a child for 9 months, you're generally rather attached (haha), and there's a LOT of pain and heartache that you go through during relinquishment. It's not like having a cold for 9 months and then being relieved when it finally goes away!

To the original poster: Get counseling. Find an independent (by that I mean one NOT associated with an adoption agency) counselor and talk to him/her about ALL of your options, and about your rights as they pertain to your child. Don't let anyone coerce you or convince you - YOU must make this choice, because you alone have to live with it for the rest of your life.

[Wildsporty]

please i need help i reasently got pregnant, i can't keep it, im in law school in my first year and my bf will leave me.. how can i get rid of it besides abortion... im scared.. and i really dont want it..:confused:

The only advice I will give is think about talking to your boyfriend about it, it is his child also and he should have a say. If you do not it will cause problems later in your relationship if he finds out.

Now it sounds like you need someone to help you with your decision as it is a huge life changing one and not to be taken lightly nor is it something that you should allow anyone else to make for you.

You have 4 choices, marriage, adoption, abortion, single parenthood

There are centers that you can go to , live at until the baby is born and than give it up for adoption or keep it. No one will know about it unless you tell them. You would have to take some time off to go there before you are noticeable in your pregnancy. You will be safe, well cared for and the baby will find a good home.

I put the lifecall.org site on there and the Mary Weslin.org site to help you in case you are interested.

I also put in the planned parenthood.org site in case you are seriously considering abortion. (it is your body, it is your choice)

Here are a couple of good websites I want you to go check out:

Young & Pregnant: What Are Your Options?

Unplanned Pregnancy. Pregnant, Teen, Adoption, Abortion Alternatives, Adopt, Parent, Choices, Crisis

Lifecall:
Mary Weslin Homes

Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Inc.

There may also be local resources wherever you are. You are 18, you can talk to doctors or nurses and they must keep it confidential, but they can often help you find someone to help you with your decision.

You want it to be the right decision because either way it will be with you the rest of your life. Make it wisely and seek advice.

Shirley

[Synnen]

michelleh1970 disagrees: you are not her, everyone is diffrent. A person shouldn't keep a child they do not want.

No, I'm not her. And yes, everyone is different.

I'm not trying to force her to choose parenting. If you ask anyone, I'm the biggest advocate of people making their OWN choice on this board, and I have no problem with anyone choosing what is best for THEM.

However--as a birthmom who DID choose adoption. I feel I have the right to point out that you don't just walk away from it and forget, like so many people seem to think. Even though I wasn't ready for a child, and absolutely knew I couldn't raise one, that didn't mean I didn't love the child growing in my body. I feel that adoption gets way too much spin from those "poor, poor couples desperate to have a child that would be happy to raise YOURS". Well, it's not all wine and roses. Too few people understand that you're not just giving up a baby, but a child, a link to yourself. And almost no one looks beyond the immediate problems of a pregnancy and a baby to when you're 30-something and wondering what your adult child is like.

I am just pointing out that adoption isn't as easy as people make it out to be. It's not even CLOSE to easy to hand over a child, even one you didn't want or didn't plan, without your heart breaking. And closure is next to impossible.

I'm not making her choice for her--I thought I made it explicitly clear that she had to make her OWN choice.

I'm just pointing out that depending on the timing of everything, a safe legal abortion might work better for her. Or parenting. Or yes, adoption. But she needs impartial advice from someone trained to give it, someone that had NO investiture in her child (which, like it or not, an adoption agency WOULD). She needs FACTS, and she needs OPTIONS, so that she CAN make the best choice, both for herself and for her child (if she decides to go to term).

[Wildsporty]

please i need help i reasently got pregnant, i can't keep it, im in law school in my first year and my bf will leave me.. how can i get rid of it besides abortion... im scared.. and i really dont want it..:confused:

I don't know where you are, but if you should wish to give me your state I will look up some local resources for you.

I do not wish to tell my story, I will only say that I faced this when I was only 17. Nice people helped me along and I can never repay them enough. I spent several years volunteering with the Salvation Army.

I am now 59, was married for 30+ years, have a great career, and raised a beautiful family when the time was right. Life does go on and you will go on with it.
Please let someone help you deal with this challenge and figure out what is the right thing for you to do.

You need to know that no matter what anyone says different events affect different people in different ways. What is right or wrong for someone may not be right or wrong for you.

Each person is an individual and has separate individual traits that make them different from anyone else. There is no right way or wrong way to meet this challenge, only whatever way is the right way for you as an individual.

I sometimes volunteer to answer hard questions for others and have an email for that purpose that is not my personal email. If you wish to speak to me privately let me know and I will give it to you.

My thoughts are with you as you feel frightened, bewildered and so very much alone! I think that is the hardest part.

May you find comfort in knowing you are not alone... there are others out there with the same challenges they also must meet.

Shirley

[passmeby]

Synnen, if you read my post, I said 9 months that you have to CARRY the child. I am smart enough to know that no matter what you decide to do after becoming pregnant, the choice itself and the consequences remain for the rest of your life. I feel the way I do (pro-life) because abortion is absolutely permanent. There is no coming back from that, there is no chance to change your mind, to right the wrong - if you end up feeling that you did wrong by that choice).

I'm not trying to tell anyone what to do, only praying that she might calm down and think it through. I have kids and I've also had an abortion. Any choice is hard. Any choice sticks with you and possibly haunts you forever. At least if you choose to give it life, you don't have that issue hanging over your head.

Of course no one should just do what someone on a message board says, but she came here for opinions and advice, and that's what she will get. Would it be constructive for everyone to respond 'Weigh the options and make your decision"... obviously, that's what she will do. But in order to get the full effect of the options, she would need different opinions and advice. Who knows who or what may change her mind? And that's precisely why we all responded, because we thought we had something to say to this girl.

[samantha777]

Hey.. I don't know if your up for it this way but I would be willing to take that baby off your hands for you girl.. it would be a miricle for me trust me.. I was pregnant and 19,twins, but a cancer tumor formed and I lost both of the babies. After that I went through two brutal years of chemotherapy; 4 days in 3 days out of the hospital every week for that two years.. unfortunatly at the time my boyfriend was abusive and he eippd my clothes off me in his parents garage while they were out of town, and hosed me down with the hose in the middle of winter.. until the neighbor finally heard me crying and screaming and they called the cops.. the result of that was I ended up with pnemonia and started to choke and I guess sort of swallow my tongue.I don't know.. it was all a blur to me at that point... I didn't feel much of anything anymore back then... they did an emergency hysterectomy to save my life.. they made the decision for me after they stablized me from the pnemonia how ever it was in my eyes a failed attempt to save my ability to try to have another.. now.. as far as the crazy type of cancer it was, it was so very rare that there was only one doc. In the west U.S. that had treated it before.. she said it was more frequent in china where she was from, and usually it stuck the very young or the very old during the early parts of pregnancy.. soo... that is my story.. and to be honest I and my fiance' would be blessed if you would just consider this option for us.. you and your baby would be the blessing.the miracle.. im 33 and I'm getting those feelings of needing to be a mother.. its all I think about anymore... if you are even considering this.. please.. let me know.

[-i-love-my-boyfriend]

I don't know where you are, but if you should wish to give me your state I will look up some local resources for you.

I do not wish to tell my story, I will only say that I faced this when I was only 17. Nice people helped me along and I can never repay them enough. I spent several years volunteering with the Salvation Army.

I am now 59, was married for 30+ years, have a great career, and raised a beautiful family when the time was right. Life does go on and you will go on with it.
Please let someone help you deal with this challenge and figure out what is the right thing for you to do.

You need to know that no matter what anyone says different events affect different people in different ways. What is right or wrong for someone may not be right or wrong for you.

Each person is an individual and has separate individual traits that make them different from anyone else. There is no right way or wrong way to meet this challenge, only whatever way is the right way for you as an individual.

I sometimes volunteer to answer hard questions for others and have an email for that purpose that is not my personal email. If you wish to speak to me privately let me know and I will give it to you.

My thoughts are with you as you feel frightened, bewildered and so very much alone! I think that is the hardest part.

May you find comfort in knowing you are not alone...there are others out there with the same challenges they also must meet.

Shirley

Hey thank you, it mean a lot..
Could you please help me find someone for this child.. I'm only 3 weeks pregnant and very much scared. None of my family knows, and my boyfriend will leave if he does find out :( xx

[Synnen]

How in the WORLD do you think he's NOT going to find out?

Pregnancy isn't exactly invisible, you know. Are you even thinking this through at this point?

I think right now, you're scared and you're REacting, not being PROactive.

You need to get yourself more information about all three choices before you start just panicking and letting someone else make your choices for you. Regardless what you choose, you WILL have regrets.

I see myself in you, 16 years ago. While I sympathize with people desperate to adopt (believe me, my husband and I have been Trying to conceive for 7 years now), I really don't think that they are the people you should turn to for advice right now. THEY are the ones who will get a happy ending out of it, not you.

While it probably wouldn't have made me decide NOT to choose adoption 16 years ago, I wish that someone had talked to me about the realities of being a birthmom instead of the rosy, happy, you've-made-a-couple-very-happy side.

But... you're still at the stage where you just want someone to make it all better for you, and there's nothing I can do to help you with that. NO ONE can make it all better for you.

The only other piece of advice I have for you is to get rid of a boyfriend that won't stick around for the tough stuff. Sounds like you're just a piece of a$$ to him if he doesn't care about you enough to help you through the hardest choice you'll ever make. Do you really want to be around THAT for the rest of your life?

[George_1950]

please i need help i reasently got pregnant, i can't keep it, im in law school in my first year and my bf will leave me.. how can i get rid of it besides abortion... im scared.. and i really dont want it..:confused:

I know someone who went through this about eleven years ago; she was a little younger than you. She knew she did not want an abortion and decided to keep her baby, who is today a beautiful and talented ten year old daughter. Thank you for posting your question and reminding all of us that our choices sometimes have colossal consequences.

[dollface_93]

I went through this myself I was a little older at the time 21, was going to give the baby up for adoption, because I personally believe that abortion is murder... needless to say I grew attached to my son and kept him, there really is never a good time to have kids and it isn't as difficult as you may think it is. I would also like to point out and you may not like this... you are both very young and there is a very good chance one of you will end up moving on, you probably won't be with him forever, that's just the way the world is now... make a decision for yourself, one that will make you happy not him. I do think you need to talk to him about it though.
If you need to talk or have any questions just write to me.
I will keep you in my prayers.

[christinacraig]

Please let this baby be born and then if you decide you don't want it then give it to someone who can't have a baby. You are old enough to know what having sex without protection can became. Further more coming from myself I left my husband 6 years ago because he didn't want the baby, any"man"can lets say make a baby but it it takes a special MAN to be a daddy. Sadly the little boy , my baby boy is nolonger with me today and my life is a greater place because I got to know this little baby that grew inside of me for 9 months. I have a 3 year old little girl now and going back to school to get a degree it is not as hard as people say you just don't have time for yourself to "party or have more sex but in hey that could be a good thing. I can't have anymore babies , I almost lost my life to have my daughter so do be thankful you can have more babies and give your baby at least a chance to have a great life. Rather or not you keep the baby he probley wont stay anyway. when I called my ex husband that "Our" baby was no longer here who he never did hold and saw only for about 15 min once and he only lived 30 min away his comment was "if I cared I'd be there. " know this that if you decide to keep you child then you won't regret it when she/he takes their firs step says their first word,etc and you will find a great man that deserves to be in your child's life .

[passmeby]

Hey, dollface, you said something quite wise that I was thinking too... that there is a great chance that these two will not be together forever. They are so very young, and this girl is holding all the burden here and is possibly making a decision that will appease the BF. She really needs to think for herself, damn the BF. This choice is most definitely, 100% going to be there with her no matter what she chooses... keep, adopt, abort... that never goes away. The BF, however, more likely than not, will be gone eventually. I'd hate to see someone get an abortion or give up the child just to keep the guy happy only to have him leave later on and have her in even more pain and guilt.

When I try to think back to who my BF was when I was 18... I got to tell you, I'm drawing a blank. I couldn't bear to think I made such a life altering decision based on what he wanted at that time. I have done many dumb things for BF's before, like quitting an amazing job, moving, loaning money... all of it was mistakes. I know at the time, you think this guy is your world, and it's hard to see it any other way. But truth be told, most relationships don't last. The most important thing is, do what YOU want and nothing less. You are the only one who will absolutely, positively have to deal with the decision till the end of time. It would be a serious mistake to let the BF's happiness make the decision for you.

[danielnoahsmommy]

Is she legit. 18 and 1st year law school. What happened to the other 4 years of college?

[templelane]

danielnoahsmommy, it's a different system in the UK and Ireland!