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    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
    Ultra Member
     
    #1

    May 1, 2008, 03:13 PM
    Why "date" someone who marry?
    After reading different posts after people having relations with someone who is knowing marry, that question that comes to mind is why? That's something I have never done and believe me will never do. I came across guys that hit on me and tell me their marry but it ends there with a response like "go home to your wife or talk to the hand", and that's all nothing further.

    I have a friend who is smartl successful, and beautiful but had a relationship with a marry man for 10 years and all of us hated her for that, family and friends. He always told her he loved her and always promised her an divorce the whole time they were togetherl but never did.We all throwed her a party when she finally left him January, it took 10 years to it, and she realized how stupid she was, something she been told for years.

    In closing I just want to know why people put themselves through this and why go after someone who married and then try and force him/her to get a divorce? All married people have that "but" factor with them. This is open to anyone to answer but I'd like to hear from people who have or is in this situation. This is not an attack but I just trying to understand.

    Thanks
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    May 1, 2008, 03:24 PM
    I agree. I don't understand why anybody would want to waste their life on a relationship with no future when they could be out finding their own guy. People like being in denial and deceiving themselves though.
    Miss Priss 007's Avatar
    Miss Priss 007 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    May 1, 2008, 06:19 PM
    I have just got out of a relationship with one and he did file for divorce even though it did last long enough to be final. I do not have low self-esteem and I do not target married men to date, but I was in a unhappy relationship with someone for so long that when I went out with him he made me feel so good and I had the best time with him. I had become numb with disappointment and forgot what it was like to enjoy myself with someone. It didn't matter at that point if he was married or not, he was my good time at first but then I started to catch feelings for him and I felt like he had feelings for me as well. I think he got scared that he was feeling strongly for me and it was getting serious, and did not know what to do, so he just ended it. Besides his wife was getting A lot and I think he didn't want to part with his big money and property so he will just deal with her, and the kids can grow up with mommy and daddy in the house. Reading the posts to my questions has made me feel better, keep them coming. I can accept criticism well, so say what you really feel. I am just keeping myself busy and going out with the girls. I have learned my lesson the hard way and I never want to feel like this again. I am sure she will never let hin forget what he did to her and it will always be in the back of everyone they knows minds that he cheated!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #4

    May 1, 2008, 09:43 PM
    Many people who have needs that aren't met, will fill them with whatever they can. It may not be right, but when your blinded by intense feelings, combined with real needs, common sense, or logical thinking go right out the window, until they are deeply invested emotionally, and physically. That's what makes it even harder, as they know the solution is going to hurt like hell, and they will have a lot of misery, and pain to work through. It taking the easy way out, but has some hard consequences.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
    Pets Expert
     
    #5

    May 1, 2008, 09:52 PM
    My sister-in-law dated a married man for over 30 years, she was with him through 2 of his 3 marriages, why I don't know.

    They recently got married, the only reason he divorced his 3rd wife was because she kicked him out after he filed for bankruptcy, my SIL took him in, bought him new clothes, a Jaguar and treated him like a god, he is an a$$. She used to be independent, now she is his little women, she doesn't have an independent thought in her head and thinks that anything he say or does should be written in blood. It's sad, she wasn't his first choice, or his second, heck not even his third, but she thinks that she is his one and only. I wonder who he's seeing behind her back, I'm sure he's fooling around, after all a leopard doesn't change his spots.

    That's my take on it.

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