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catsareniice1 · Feb 17, 2006, 02:30 PM

Hi.

I have my husband's cell phone records showing that he has been speaking to another woman on a very regular basis. The phone calls are mostly everyday with occasional 2-3 days gaps. The calls are usually no more than 3-4 minutes, with the majority of them being 1-2 minutes. Sometimes there are several in a day.

Can this prove infidelity?

We are in the midst of a divorce. He left our marriage abruptly a couple of months ago and the phone calls began to develop 4 days after he left me.

My lawyer told me that you need pictures of people in the act or find the parties parked overnight to prove infidelity and several other lawyers have told me that what I have is more than enough proof.

I just want more feedback or if someone really knows the answer I would love to hear your input.

Thank you.

RickJ · Feb 17, 2006, 02:41 PM

1. No. Not proof at all by itself. Not even close (legally), actually.

Your attorney advises you right: If there were pictures, then those phone records would be an important part of the evidence.

I think the other attorney probably communicated to you poorly. It does not matter if your husband called her every five minutes: It, by itself, is not proof of infidelity. If he's an attorney, then he knows that. He either just communicated poorly or may have been eager to get your business.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 17, 2006, 07:53 PM

Also even if you "prove" he is not being faithful, it really does not help much now adays in court, esp AFTER you have separated for a divorce.

The phone records only prove he talked to some girl, OK, you know and I can figure what it is about, but he can say it was anything he wants to.

Your attorney could contact this girl and see if she will testify that she was.

catsareniice1 · Feb 18, 2006, 11:23 AM

I appreciate the feedback.

Thank you.

fredg · Feb 19, 2006, 09:32 AM

Hi,
The "several other lawyers" who said the phone calls is enough, are only out for your money!
Stick with your current lawyer, who gave you some good information and advice.
Do you have a Separation Agreement, drawn up and signed by both parties? Your lawyer would be the one to ask about this, and also be responsible for drawing up your final Divorce Agreement. Best of luck.

catsareniice1 · Feb 20, 2006, 07:08 AM

We do not have a separation agreement so if I find just my husband's car and his mistress' car parked alone somewhere would this potentially prove infidelity along with the phone records? Some people also tell me that it depends on the judge assigned for the day.

I want to prove infidelity because I find it extremely disrespectful and a huge betrayal.

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

RickJ · Feb 20, 2006, 07:22 AM

Yes, much will depend on how the judge views the evidence as a whole.
... so try to get something besides just phone records... the more "bits of evidence" the better.

catsareniice1 · Feb 25, 2006, 09:39 AM

For anyone interested...

I may have some evidence now for my case. I found a cancelled check that he wrote in 2004 to the girl my husband speaks with on his cell phone and I also obtained some clear photos of their cars alone together.

CaptainForest · Feb 25, 2006, 12:23 PM

Why not try to get the "money shot". That is, your husband and this woman in bed together.

whereisthesun · Feb 25, 2006, 12:35 PM

She may have trouble getting that shot though... That would be awesome though.

Sosdog · Feb 25, 2006, 01:57 PM

It won't matter at this point, but its worth doing if you feel it is.

In order for infidelity to make any sort of difference it must be proven that it took place before you separated.

Sos

wynelle · Mar 9, 2006, 08:14 PM

To what purpose does all this serve?

In almost all states, divorce is "no-fault."

You may feel better (I don't know why) if you find out conclusively that he cheated; but I would feel even more violated.

Also, have you any idea what the check was for? She could be an Avon lady at his workspace and he was buying you perfume.

And like Pitt and Jolie, they could claim they were attracteed but didn't act on it until the separation. Since the phone calls didn't start until you were separated, and I would assume the photographs were taken after the separation, then what is it proof of?

runtums76 · May 25, 2007, 05:12 PM

Hey there,

In relation to this question - I have a similar question. My brothers wife left him and for three weeks before she was calling and texting this other guy regularly for 3 weeks. When confronted, she said she was talking to her sister's boyfriend on someone else's phone. Her whole family backed her up on this claim. They have not been legally separated as of yet. She also claimed she did not even know the guy whose cell phone she was calling (subsequently, she was calling the same guy's office line too at 11pm in the night). Recently, we found a picture of him and her on a "networking" site and he was one of her "friends" on this site.

If my brother gets pictures of them now, and has the cell phone records and the testimony from everyone who asked her about it and her claim that she didn't even know him, it that enough evidence that she was unfaithful before leaving him. And since she is not legally separated from him, does it count as anything ?

She is trying to walk away from all the bills they accrued over their marriage and leave him with all the debt which I find deplorable. She also left him right after she got her citizenship -- so my brother feels entirely used. I don't want him to have the benefit of breaking his heart and ruining him financially as well -- can anyone advise me on this ?

Thanks !

brenda8358 · Apr 3, 2008, 06:34 PM

How can I get a copy of my husband's cell phone bill?

the007 · May 16, 2008, 04:59 PM

I know this person that gets cell phone records for all cell phone companies

JAMIET · May 17, 2008, 04:06 PM

An attorney would be able to subpeona the cel phone provider for records.

Moose1123 · Jun 5, 2008, 12:47 PM

You said the calls developed 4 days after he left you... Nope, he may have jumped into a relationship after leaving you right away. This does not show he has been seeing her before the break up. Does not even prove he is seeing her other than a support person during a divorce. I am in California and the laws here are different than some states. This is a no fault state, divorce is only for illreconsiable differences or mental illness. The courts do not care who's fault it was or who does what. 50 / 50 and that is it. (well they always seem to favor the female some)