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Ultra Member
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Apr 22, 2008, 08:19 PM
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Have you ever wondered?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on.......
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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Pets Expert
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Apr 22, 2008, 08:23 PM
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LMAO, I'm crying I'm laughing so hard. That was great M, I needed that. Thanks :)
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Ultra Member
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Apr 22, 2008, 08:23 PM
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LOL... pleasure :)
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Pets Expert
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Apr 22, 2008, 08:25 PM
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Honestly, tears are streaming down my face. ;) :)
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Ultra Member
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Apr 22, 2008, 08:26 PM
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I believe you... honest :)
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Pets Expert
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Apr 22, 2008, 08:27 PM
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Hee, hee, I thought you did, I just didn't want to have to prove it. ;) :)
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Ultra Member
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Apr 22, 2008, 09:35 PM
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Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Loved this one...
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
And this too...
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Ultra Member
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Apr 22, 2008, 09:45 PM
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I heard another one not long ago...
Why do they sterilize the needle that they euthanase people with??
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Ultra Member
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Apr 22, 2008, 10:00 PM
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Eewwww... probably true, eh :)
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Ultra Member
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Apr 23, 2008, 12:24 PM
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LOLOLOLOL, here I go again, laughing my buns off! Oh this is good excersize! Thanks Friend, again!
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Ultra Member
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Apr 23, 2008, 12:36 PM
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Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
LOL! Wow... never actually thought of that... ewww...
:D Thanks M... missing you lately... :)
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Full Member
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Apr 23, 2008, 01:55 PM
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LMAOROFL. I'm still laughing, after reading this there are a few things I will never do. And one of those things will be using baby oil, those Gerber people are sick.
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Pets Expert
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Apr 23, 2008, 08:23 PM
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M, my husband liked this so much, he printed it off and took it to work. He's working on a few additions, things that were missed. Hee, hee, still laughing, love it. :)
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Ultra Member
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Apr 23, 2008, 08:28 PM
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Excellent... glad he liked it. Make sure you fill us in on the additions :)
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Ultra Member
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Apr 23, 2008, 10:25 PM
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Tarzan had no hair at all on his entire body. He and Cheeta would take turns grooming and plucking each other. What I want to know is why the monkey had no hair on its butt?
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Ultra Member
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Apr 23, 2008, 10:27 PM
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Originally Posted by magprob
What I wanna know is why the monkey had no hair on its butt?
Lmao... I'm not going there :eek:
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Full Member
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Apr 24, 2008, 09:50 AM
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Ok I got one
Why is it that
When your young and you eat a lot, people say you have a healthy appetite. But if you an adult and you eat a lot, your one of America's primary health concerns.
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Senior Member
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Apr 24, 2008, 10:10 AM
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Why isn't phonetic spelled phonetically?
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Ultra Member
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Apr 24, 2008, 07:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Da Bigchamp
Ok I got one
Why is it that
When your young and you eat alot, people say you have a healthy appetite. But if you an adult and you eat alot, your one of America's primary health concerns.
Good point champ!
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Ultra Member
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Apr 24, 2008, 07:18 PM
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Originally Posted by retsoksirhc
Why isn't phonetic spelled phonetically?
Uhmmm don't know chris... ok I'll have a guess , because it hasn't got "ally" in it?? :D
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