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wrappedup · Feb 16, 2006, 09:27 AM

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

fredg · Feb 16, 2006, 09:34 AM

Hi,
I am 64, been married 29 yrs; just to let you know where I'm coming from.
I think it's because he has developed a really good relationship with you, and has very good feelings for you.
It's not every man and woman, as you said, that likes it. But, in this case, I really think he repects you and wants to please you in any way he can, and you want.
I do wish you the very best, and have a GREAT time!!

JoeCanada76 · Feb 16, 2006, 09:49 AM

Fred, Your encouraging this women to continue having the affair?

orange · Feb 16, 2006, 10:05 AM

Wrappedup, I agree with Fred that this guy may be getting more into you now, but I've read your other threads where you say you are married and have a 3 year old child? And this guy are having the affair with is also married with a child. Rather than possibly breaking up 2 families and/or getting really hurt yourself because this guy might be using you just for the sex, why don't you try to kindle or re-kindle some of that excitement into your marriage, with your husband?

JoeCanada76 · Feb 16, 2006, 10:21 AM

The marriage is already over for both parties. That is just my belief. When you get married it is a commitement to one person for a lifetime. Until one party dies or if there is adultery. Those two rules about marriage. Adultery has already come in for both marriages so it is over but I am sure that everybody already knows that?

orange · Feb 16, 2006, 10:27 AM

Well I agree adultery is definitely grounds for divorce, but if the husband and wife want to reconcile, they still can, can't they? I mean, spiritually speaking as well? Or are you saying they would have to renew their vows to each other?

fredg · Feb 16, 2006, 10:28 AM

HI,
No, I am not trying to encourage any affair involving someone who is married! I am so very sorry I gave that impression.
In trying to answer the question, it was not my intent to encourage an affair. This relationship cannot withstand the "test of time", as the man does seem to enjoy you more than his wife. His marriage is in deep trouble.

JoeCanada76 · Feb 16, 2006, 10:32 AM

Is it out in the open or not. Is it secret or not. Reconciling is hard if both have been unfaithful. That is not true marriage and should not remarry. There is no future. There is no trust. I know my statements may sound strong. That is the way I feel about marriage. It is very true commitement to one person for the rest of your life. It is a commitement to God. You break that commitement with adultery then it is over. I hope it does not sound like I am forcing my beliefs on others but that is how I feel.

Joe

nwsflash · Feb 16, 2006, 10:46 AM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Is it out in the open or not. Is it secret or not. Reconciling is hard if both have been unfaithful. That is not true marriage and should not remarry. There is no future. There is no trust. I know my statements may sound strong. That is the way I feel about marriage. It is very true commitement to one person for the rest of your life. It is a commitement to God. You break that commitement with adultery then it is over. I hope it does not sound like I am forcing my beliefs on others but that is how I feel.

Joe

Nope I agree 110% with you Joe... People should end where they are now before they start fooling around... And people wonder why there are so many std's (sti's) going around now adays!

Commitement seems a hard word for some people to deal with, nope he is going down on you because you have both been cheating so long now he does it without thinking... This guy just wants you to lay on your back as you seem only to willing to do. Get the picture this guy wants you for SEX that's all, he don't seem to want anything more our this would have happened by now... And you seem to take everything this guy tells you as gospel!! Sorry he is going to tell you anything to get a lay take his words with a pinch of salt. Come on if he goes down on you, he probley does with his wife and the other g/f he keeps.

If anything was to happen and he left his wife for you, I would give you a 2% chance of it working out! Just think if you was his wife now and you didn't know he was out there screwing around behind your back, how would that make you feel, maybe when one of you gets an std (sti) you will wake up and smell the coffee.

orange · Feb 16, 2006, 10:53 AM

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Is it out in the open or not. Is it secret or not. Reconciling is hard if both have been unfaithful. That is not true marriage and should not remarry. There is no future. There is no trust. I know my statements may sound strong. That is the way I feel about marriage. It is very true commitement to one person for the rest of your life. It is a commitement to God. You break that commitement with adultery then it is over. I hope it does not sound like I am forcing my beliefs on others but that is how I feel.

Joe

No I understand totally what you mean, Joe. I just needed you to explain it more, haha. But it makes sense. I've often wondered how people continue on in a marriage after there has been cheating. I know lots of people do, and make a good go of it, and more power to them, but... I don't think I could do it. If Alex cheated on me and I found out, I don't know if I could ever forgive him, I would be sooo hurt. We'd probably split.

DrJ · Feb 16, 2006, 11:50 AM

Without diving into the morality of this situation, I would have to say no, because this man that you are having an affair with is now "going down one you" does NOT mean he is starting to have stronger feelings for you.

This obviously isn't his way of showing his feelings... he has already made that clear.

My guess would be that, for some reason, he may have felt that you were starting to be less satisfied. And, in an attempt to save his "side-line sex partner," he decided to give you more.

In his eyes, he's got a great thing going on... he's got the family at home with an affair with another woman (or maybe OTHER WOMEN). If he has to give you a little more so that you don't get bored or unsatisfied with it, he will.

If he had strong feelings for you, he would leave his wife an pursue you. He is not doing this. You are there for his sexual pleasure and that is all.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 16, 2006, 12:48 PM

Well I doomed to hell my limit for this week, so I guess I will have to give this a pass for the cheating and the destroying to families, the possible STD that could be passed onto unsuspecting family at home.

But no, it merely means his sexual tastes and desires have broadened. Perhaps from another new sex partner who he is cheating on you and his wife with, perhaps from reading about it, or from watching porn films, the list of why is limitless. Maybe his wife and he started and he found he liked it and now you are getting the result of that.

You are accepting second best from a man who is using you purely for sexual use. At least a prostitue gets some income from having her body used.

And of course a husband and family at home must have little value if you risk it all for a bouncy bed ride.

Guess I sound a little down on this one, but I see too many families runined, too many divorces, children who don't see their mom or dad for months or years after nasty split ups.