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oky369 · Apr 21, 2008, 11:12 PM

Hello, I'm in a college relationship for 2 years now. We have become real close and have been through a lot together, mostly with our family issues. Her parents are going through a divorce after her mom cheated on her dad. Basically two weeks ago she found out that her mom is moving out of the house with her new boyfriend, and it just killed my girlfriend emotionally and asked for the "break." It has been tough not talking to her, I gave her space for a week and half, then I sent her flowers to tell her that I care and I'm always here for her. We spoke for a couple of minutes afterwards but I haven't heard from her yet (4 days.) Like I said before, we have been through many family issues together and now I can't be there for her and this is a big conflict, she told me she wanted to handle this on her own...

Am I okay?
Please help

simoneaugie · Apr 22, 2008, 12:11 AM

What is happening in her family has profoundly affected her, to the point of a break with you. Give her time. You have done nothing wrong. Just wait.

nickshehe · Apr 22, 2008, 06:38 AM

You should give her what she wants.. but let her know that you are there for her if she needs you.

talaniman · Apr 22, 2008, 08:54 AM

For now you can do nothing, but what she wants, and let her handle her business.

oky369 · Apr 22, 2008, 03:14 PM

Thanks for the advice... I was just wondering if its okay to text or leave a voicemail once a while to say hi and see how's she doing and all. How often do I do it or if its even a good idea?

talaniman · Apr 22, 2008, 03:40 PM

Let her call you.

JonLR92 · Apr 22, 2008, 04:04 PM

When I get worried about my girl I leave messages and stuff. Nothing wrong with showing that you care about her and want to know what's up. I say you should do it, and if she's not ready to talk yet then shell just ignore it.

oky369 · Apr 23, 2008, 01:48 PM

Thanks everyone

oky369 · May 15, 2008, 01:36 AM

So basically we went on a date lastnight (we talked a couple of times during our break which was a month and haven't seen each other for a month) it was awkward at first when I picked her up at her house, her father just moved into her house and her mother moved out with her new boyfriend (gets along better with mom)back to our date, we went to a new 99 restaurant and I paid obv. We actually hit it off like it was the old days, caught up on our lives and we were laughing, having fun etc. Than she asked me how it was not talking to each other during our break, and I told her how I felt. I said it was tough obv and she agreed. Than we started talking about our relationship and it got emotional for us. She said that she hasn't even thought about guys at all going out with her friends and stuff, she wanted to spend time with them and not have any commitment. She cleared her mind and she said it was nice not worrying about her family issues and just had fun which is good and I'm glad she had fun with her friends and stuff. We told each other that we miss each other, but she said she just misses me as a "friend" right now.somethng she said that was real good was that the past year and half being together was her greatest years in her life with me and she will never forget it and that's when I said so lets keep going... n said she needs to figure and realize what she has (im a good boyfriend not being conceded). We didn't hold hands or kiss after I dropped her off and told me to call her sometime and we just hugged it out

Any idea's guys? Her Facebook and myspace still says I'm her boyfriend... I gave her time and stuff but her family issues are ruining my relationship with this girl, we are good together and she needs to remember/realize what we had and stuff so I'm mad confused, like I thought we were going to be back to normal after tonight and its not... shes going to FL this weekend to visit her grandma and I'm going to be traveling to NC for my sister... do I call her? Ask to hang out, help haha

nickshehe · May 15, 2008, 03:19 AM

Ok first things first - her family issues are NOT ruining your relationship..
If you are going through some issues with yourself - won't your natural reaction be to turn to someone that you love?
If she was shutting down everyone in her life including you - then yes her family issues may be ruining your relationship. But she said herself she is going out with her friends and enjoying herself. Which means she could have just as easily turned to her boyfriend/someone she loved - but its clearly not there for anymore
This is where the grape turns sour, she just doesn't want a relationship anymore - she even said she misses you as a "friend". It's as simple as that - she's being honest with you and you need to understand and appreciate her honesty and pick yourself up and move on.. I'm sorry to be so honest with you but you need to GET IT - before you drag yourself into another month of confusion.
Sorry dude :/ The candles blown out on this one is my opinion.

bigbird213 · May 15, 2008, 04:25 AM

Oky,

I agree with Nick. She took the time to her self and realized that she enjoys being single more than being in a relationship. I know its probably hard for you to see because of everything she said to you and what you guys went through. Its hard, real hard, but you need to realize it for your own good.

Don't call her, get busy being yourself. See what happens. Chances are, she isn't going to call you, or she will just call as a friend. She has no right to get upset with you for not calling her - if she does tell her that she sees you as a friend, but you still love her and need to move on.