[tiredoflying]

Why do I lie to my loved ones? What is the best way to control lying? I don't want to hurt my lovely wife anymore.:(

[Fr_Chuck]

"WE" don't lie to our love ones, why are you lying ? Unless you have some mental issue you lie because you make a choice to lie. So you make a choice not to lie and just stop.

[tiredoflying]

I have one that but I always seem to find a way to tell anothr lie. And I am sorry for saying we I meant me. I wake up everyday and tell myself no mor lies. I do great for a long time then thr is the one little lie that breaks everything I have going good for me. And my wife is not happy with it.:(

[N0help4u]

You lie because you have something to hide
Or you are in denial
Or because you are insecure and feel you need to exaggerate
Or because you think your wife is not capable to handle the truth and/or will conflict with you

[KateBell88]

Keep doing what you are doing - if you break it and lie again, go to her straight away and apologize - tell her you lied and you are trying to get out of the habit. You'll break the habit.

[tiredoflying]

I do that but it has been so long that now the trust is fading. And then I start to rebuild it and wham something new.

[N0help4u]

When you get the urge to lie remind yourself that you are already losing credibility and trust

[ashley0716]

What is it you're lying about exactly? Think really hard, why do you do it? Do you realize that admitting honestly, something horrible is better than getting caught lying about it and it preserves trust. I mean, obviously you KNOW it's wrong, but maybe you should see someone, if you truly can't control it. Try writing down the truth and giving that to your wife.

[ajewett16]

We lie to cover up the real things that we don't want people to see.

[bushg]

I think you need to ask yourself what you are afraid of, why are you trying to hide certain facts of your behavior, what you did, where you went etc... I think if you understand why you are doing something that it is much easier to break the habit. Sometimes I think it is a habit that may have stemed from childhood when people lie to avoid getting whipped, grounded, made fun of, disappointing people. I would say that if it is affecting your relationshipwith your wife, you may need to seek counseling.

[Turasleon]

I know of some individuals with the same problem, I assure you.

The question is, what are you lying about, exactly? I know the question had been asked earlier, but it really is important. And what are you doing that you have to lie about?

This could be something very, very small or it could be something that you really do need to seek counsel for.

[boredINmind]

People lie to hide the things that they are ashamed of, so the next time that you are about to lie, STOP! Think for a second about why you want to lie, and instead explain the situation to your wife. Tell her what you were afraid of, and tell her that you thought about lying about it and chose not to. Hopefully she will understand, but you have to make it clear to her that you want to change for her, to make her happy with you again.

[firmbeliever]

When someone lies it is either to cover up something or to distort reality which seems a bit harsh or maybe as others have said you think your wife cannot handle the truth and would prefer not to know.
You wouldn't know unless you tell her the truth.

To lie is a habit, some have become dependent on this habit. Lying gives them a feeling of control in a situation they cannot control.Or it helps them to avoid certain issues.

But one must remember that lying makes it hard to keep other things straight in a relationship.For example you tell one lie and when she inquires about something related to your lie,you have to lie in order to cover up the first lie and then in time another lie to cover up that one and you weave yourself a tangled web of deceit you do not know how to get out of.
You seem to be on the right path that you admit your habit and wish to change.It is a choice you make to lie or not to lie and it is up to you to choose not to.
Each time a situation arises you feel the need to lie,think into the future,is it worth your relationship to lie and deceive the one you love and yourself in the process of your lies?
Is it worth to have no one who will trust you once they realise you lie to them?
Does a lie help you not know the reality?You already know the reality and by telling a loved one,you are sharing your weaknesses and strengths and she would appreciate you more for admitting it.

I hope you find your path to peace...

[backlog007]

Just start realizing that one day the truth has to come out, be it today be it tomoro.. and when it comes to light, your momental joy would turn to sorrow... just stop lying and take care of your life.

[Turasleon]

I'm going to be honest... if you are lying about stupid, petty little things, then you are probably just a compulsive liar, and the problem isn't what you are doing: the problem is strictly, and only, in the lying.

However, if you lie to cover things up that you just don't want her to know because it would make her upset, you are probably having some more problems with the relationship than you realize.

If you are lying to cover things that you are ashamed of, and can't understand why you did them to begin with, then you probably need some help with yourself: these things do happen. There are many different things that cause our minds to suffer alterations from who we really are, and they hurt the ones we really love. Stress, lack of nutrition, mental disorders, lack of sleep... there are a multitude of things that can alter your state of mind.

But you really do need to make what you are lying about clearer.

[ibelieveinu]

Sometimes people tell little white lies to make things run more smoothly. They think the truth will complicate the matter, so they devise little white lies to speed things along. Sometimes there really is no rhyme or reason to it. Some people do it like second nature. But if you are lying to cover things up, this changes the nature of the problem.