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lmangileri · Sep 11, 2008, 12:50 PM

If you've been thinking about it for quite some time now, maybe it is time to break up with him. It's hard to be in a long distance relationship, especially when the other person is so busy and can't make time for you. You start to feel like you're doing all the work, and you are. It's going to be hard to not be lonely after because that's normal. You could start by taking up a new hobby or spending more time with hobbies you already have. As far as being social you might end up having to step out of your comfort zone. Do you work or go to school to where you could meet new people?

It sounds to me like you are making the right choice. Breaking up with someone you love is hard but it sounds like it's harder to be in the situation you're in now.

talaniman · Sep 11, 2008, 12:53 PM

Whether you end up together or not, who can say, but just know you have a difficult path before you. Staying together through distance, and time, for the next 4 years?? Very difficult indeed, and you will face many challenges, so if its already tough, your in for tougher. Good Luck with that.

01 m gt · Sep 11, 2008, 12:55 PM

Liten, I'm a guy and yeah I think you should brake up with his. I mean if I love my girl I will make time for her no matter how busy I am. But you should think about it really good too. And if you do brake up with him don't call him or try to get him back. He will only feel special and probably keep ignorin you.

hjpan · Sep 11, 2008, 01:02 PM

As a guy who was the dumped in the similar situation, IT INCREASES THE STRESS LEVEL. Maybe you have not experienced college life so you want to leave him, but it happened to me at the end of my first year in university.

If you think dumping him due to his inability to talk with you and spend time with you, think again. This isn't about him or you anymore; he's pursuing a degree which requires time away. Think about how the soldiers of men and women in Iraq.. how do their loved ones cope with the situation. My ex left me cause of this situation and I told her not to come back to me if she needs help or anything from me. She boldly said "fine!" and you know what? I'm 150% sure I will be very successful since I am pursuing a pre-med degree at a local college while working as a courtesy clerk (bag-boy/girl). When I am finished with my pre-med degree, I'll return to university, finish up my degree in psychology, and graduate.

Don't dump him because of inability to spend time. That is a dumb reason.
Dump him because he hurt you in different ways.

Giving my side of view as a male who was dumped during university.

hjpan · Sep 11, 2008, 01:05 PM

Why do you have 2 similar posts...?

h0llister · Sep 11, 2008, 01:13 PM

I just think like he is able to make time for his university friends to hangout but not even 15minutes a day to have a good conversation like he will call me like 4times a day for 5minutes to be like hi, how are you, what you doing, what you do today, cool,yeah, I have to go now, I love u, MUAAAHH, bye.. . like that isn't a good conversation I know its good to check up but its been like 4days now with only check ups.. am I being to demanding?

talaniman · Sep 11, 2008, 01:14 PM

You have many reason to get out, so make a decision that's in your interest, and go about making it happen.

hjpan · Sep 11, 2008, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by h0llister

i just think like he is able to make time for his university friends to hangout but not even 15minutes a day to have a good conversation like he will call me like 4times a day for 5minutes to be like hi, how r u, what u doing, what u do today, cool,yeah, i have to go now, i love u, MUAAAHH, bye . .. like that isnt a good conversation i know its good to check up but its been like 4days now with only check ups.. am i being to demanding?

Have you discussed the situation with him?

h0llister · Sep 11, 2008, 01:17 PM

This was earlier now I think I might break up with him so I posted a new one

lmangileri · Sep 11, 2008, 01:18 PM

Originally Posted by hjpan

As a guy who was the dumped in the similar situation, IT INCREASES THE STRESS LEVEL. Maybe you have not experienced college life so you want to leave him, but it happened to me at the end of my first year in university.

If you think dumping him due to his inability to talk with you and spend time with you, think again. This isn't about him or you anymore; he's pursuing a degree which requires time away. Think about how the soldiers of men and women in Iraq.. how do their loved ones cope with the situation. My ex left me cause of this situation and I told her not to come back to me if she needs help or anything from me. She boldly said "fine!" and you know what? I'm 150% sure I will be very successful since I am pursuing a pre-med degree at a local college while working as a courtesy clerk (bag-boy/girl). When I am finished with my pre-med degree, I'll return to university, finish up my degree in psychology, and graduate.

Don't dump him because of inability to spend time. That is a dumb reason.
Dump him because he hurt you in different ways.

Giving my side of view as a male who was dumped during university.

I disagree with this post. Breaking up with someone because you don't spend any time together is a good reason. I believe if her boyfriend cared as much about the relationship as she did that he would come see her once in a while and bring homework if he wants, but at least show that he cares enough to come see her. There's no reason he couldn't come see her, get some dinner, watch a movie or something and then work on some homework while he's there.

h0llister · Sep 11, 2008, 01:20 PM

Yes he said about 2 weeks ago that he did want to break up because he felt guilty about never having time for me.. and he wanted to be able to be with his friends without feeling guilty of not being there for me. And he suggested we only talk every few days but I just said OK if you are too busy during the day to talk then just call to say goodnight but I have been having a lot of problems with things lately (with school and family) and I would call him for advice and he would always get mad because I didn't stick to the plan and that's why I am thinknig break up because he isn't there for me the same.. but maybe he just isn't able to be.. I'm not sure

h0llister · Sep 11, 2008, 01:21 PM

We live 2000 miles away and about $1200 plane ticket and during school that is hard and he only gets off a total of 5weeks a year

hjpan · Sep 11, 2008, 01:22 PM

Originally Posted by lmangileri

I disagree with this post. Breaking up with someone because you don't spend any time together is a good reason. I believe if her boyfriend cared as much about the relationship as she did that he would come see her once in a while and bring homework if he wants, but at least show that he cares enough to come see her. There's no reason he couldn't come see her, get some dinner, watch a movie or something and then work on some homework while he's there.

Ahem.

You are plainly basing your facts on what? Did you read about her previous post that THIS IS A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP? Also, I was in a long distance relationship as well, so it perfectly matches.

Also, if he could visit her... where's the money going to come from?

Nothing is not simple as you type it is.

lmangileri · Sep 11, 2008, 01:25 PM

I am basing my facts on what she's said about him not being there for her, about not getting to spend time together, about him already stating that he wanted to break up.

hjpan · Sep 11, 2008, 01:29 PM

Originally Posted by h0llister

yes he said about 2 weeks ago that he did want to break up because he felt guilty about never having time for me.. and he wanted to be able to be with his friends without feeling guilty of not being there for me. and he suggested we only talk every few days but i just said ok if u r too busy during the day to talk then just call to say goodnight but i have been having alot of problems with things lately (with school and family) and i would call him for advice and he would always get mad because i didnt stick to the plan and thats why i am thinknig break up because he isnt there for me the same.. but maybe he jsut isnt able to be.. im not sure

Well, I can see where he is coming from cause 5 weeks off for break is short. How about you two find a midpoint and fly there and meet up?

Still, I am guessing you don't know about college life so I'll say this now...

Time is valuable, precious, priceless.... it is really hard to squeeze all-of-a-sudden situation in a timed schedule. Sure, he says to break up but he's too afraid to do so. My ex mentioned about breaking up and I was fine with it, but it drove me nuts after a while. Bad mistake was I took her back and she left me 2 months later.

For moving to a new place, why don't you get out and start meeting people instead of whining online? I didn't know anyone around my work place and guess what? I started talking with the cashiers and customers... increasing my ability to socialize with others.

Problems? Well, everyone has problems.. not just you~
Instead of focusing your problems so much... pay attention to good stuff

h0llister · Sep 11, 2008, 01:29 PM

Lol relax!! He is going to try to come in December but his parents will be paying for it.. they paid last time he came so they might again

hjpan · Sep 11, 2008, 01:31 PM

Originally Posted by lmangileri

I am basing my facts on what she's said about him not being there for her, about not getting to spend time together, about him already stating that he wanted to break up.

Did you even read her post after your disagreement?

2000 miles away (Canada-Mexico)
$1200 plane ticket
5 weeks off university.

Clearly, please read all posts beforing debating.

h0llister · Sep 11, 2008, 01:32 PM

Well its 2weeks in December which include christmas n newyears so he will be with his family for christmas.. 1 wweek in march and 2 weeks in July

hjpan · Sep 11, 2008, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by h0llister

lol relax!!! he is going to try to come in december but his parents will be paying for it.. they payed last time he came so they might again

There you go.
He's trying to come in December to visit you...

So think about it..

He's all busy up with university... during break, he can visit you

Is it a good trade or not?

One of my favorite quotes "There is no such thing as NOTHING for SOMETHING"

hjpan · Sep 11, 2008, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by h0llister

well its 2weeks in december which include christmas n newyears so he will be with his family for christmas.. 1 wweek in march and 2 weeks in july

What you need to do now is to call him and ask him when it's a good time to talk to him.
Then discuss the issue and say "hey, I really want you to come this Christmas. Please sway your parents' plan so we can be together."