[Emmaxbaby]

My boyfriend is so selfish in bed, our sex is praciticly a routine.

I do everything for him, I want to be a good lover to him and I put his pleasure first. He asks me to wear sexy outfits and underwear when we have sex, which is fine with me.

He tells me what he wants in bed and I do it for him because I want to make him feel good, usually he asks me to lick body paint off him and give him a blowjob. It aches my mouth but I still do it until he tells me to stop because I love him and want to mke him feel good.

The reason why I find him selfish is because when I ask for things it's always 'NO' or 'Later' but later never comes. I asked him to massage me because I had a stressful day and he told me 'later' but it never happened.

I've asked him to go down on me a few times but it's always 'NO' or 'I got to be in the mood'.

I think it's really selfish - as I had just given him a blowjob which he asked me to give him before I asked for the favour to be returned.

I've tried to stop giving him things he wants but I can't stop. I want to be a good lover so I don't stop giving him what he wants, though it means that sex is not making me orgasm.

What do I do? Anyone else had this problem?

[Synnen]

You have to learn to say "no" too.

Or... better yet... say "I'd be happy to do that...but why don't YOU get ME in the mood first by doing <whatever you'd like him to do>"

He's spoiled, and doesn't HAVE to give you anything--you never tell him "no" when he wants something.

Relationships should be give and take on BOTH sides--and you're doing all the giving. If he won't change, then you might have to decide whether you're willing to live with the status quo for the rest of your life, or whether you should move on to someone less selfish.

[TallBlondie]

Girl, you need to find Bob (aka battery-operated-boyfriend) and cut this guy loose. What kind of selfish prick doesn't get involve in a mutually satisfying relationship? You've already said that you have tried to engage him in the types of things that you like to do and he says no. If you initiate sex from several types of angles and it just isn't working for him then the problem is him. It's a good thing that you haven't already signed papers for this jerk.

[letmetellu]

What you need to do is not do anything for him until he becomes real horny, a horny guy is just like a dog, you can make him do tricks by giving him treats. To translate, the trick is for him to eat you and the treat is then for you to give him the blow job he wants so bad,

[svatnsdal]

I agree with everything written! Just get rid of him, if he loved you, he would want to make you happy, to please you. Hey, get him in the mood then just walk away. I also really agree with TallBlondie, get bob! It's very obvious bob with make you a million times happier then the man next to you.

[healer]

Why did God invent men?

Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.



Love,
healer

[MOWERMAN2468]

Why did God invent men?

Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.



Love,
healer

Maybe not, but have you noticed how many ladies "enjoy" mowing the lawn? Could it be from the "vibrating" machine they are driving around in the yard. That look on their face is not from the heat of the sun you know.

[healer]

Maybe not, but have you noticed how many ladies "enjoy" mowing the lawn? Could it be from the "vibrating" machine they are driving around in the yard. That look on their face is not from the heat of the sun you know.

Mowerman, you think they ENJOY mowing the lawn? That smile is a Valium-daze; they married the wrong dude. I'll mow the lawn right after my SO grows tits.

Gee, why am I divorced? LOL!

[Homegirl 50]

My boyfriend is so selfish in bed, our sex is practically a routine.

I do everything for him, i want to be a good lover to him and i put his pleasure first. He asks me to wear sexy outfits and underwear when we have sex, which is fine with me.

He tells me what he wants in bed and i do it for him 'cos i want to make him feel good, usually he asks me to lick body paint off him and give him a blowjob. It aches my mouth but i still do it until he tells me to stop because i love him and want to make him feel good.

The reason why i find him selfish is because when i ask for things it's always 'NO' or 'Later' but later never comes. I asked him to massage me because i had a stressful day and he told me 'later' but it never happened.

I've asked him to go down on me a few times but it's always 'NO' or 'I gotta be in the mood'.

I think it's really selfish - as i had just given him a blowjob which he asked me to give him before i asked for the favour to be returned.

I've tried to stop giving him things he wants but i can't stop. I want to be a good lover so i don't stop giving him what he wants, though it means that sex is not making me orgasm.

What do i do? Anyone else had this problem?

Why should things be any different, you are nothing but a sex slave. What do you mean you give him bj and won't stop until he tells you even when your mouth hurts? Are you crazy? How old are you? Why do you allow yourself to be abused that way.
Emancipate yourself and kick your master to the curb. He has no respect for you.

[talaniman]

Instead of wasting your time being mad at him, ask yourself why you allow this selfish behavior in your bedroom? Stand up for your needs. Tell him NO, or later as he has told you, that's fair. If he strays, or turns else where, you have lost NOTHING!

[Emmaxbaby]

Why should things be any different, you are nothing but a sex slave. What do you mean you give him bj and won't stop until he tells you even when your mouth hurts? Are you crazy? How old are you? Why do you allow yourself to be abused that way.
Emancipate yourself and kick your master to the curb. He has no respect for you.

If your wondering he is not my first sexual partner, basically I keep on pleasing him until he tells me to stop, that way I know he is satisfied. Im 18 by the way.

[kp2171]

This is me trying not to hit the computer moniter. A little ticked about this one.

You know the truth and I don't have to tell you anything. You know he's an ungrateful "lover" who is interested in himself, interested in control, and he's getting all he wants to boot.

What you need to understand is being a good lover starts with you, in part, taking care of you, not him. Sure... there are times when most people engage in sex because they want to please the other person more than they need it themselves... if I wake up at 4AM and go down on my partner it isn't because I'm ready to go and primed... its because I know that's her prime time, we won't get another chance that day, and she's given me her common "signals" in bed that let me know she's interested. So... there's a case where I love what we are doing, but I'm bending to her needs. OK. Fine. She reciprocates. There's balance.

Not here. And being a good lover means taking care of your health... this includes emotional and mental health concerning sexuality.

Ill say this as kindly as I can, and being a grumpy, irish guy with a temper, this is the best I can do. Don't let this pr!ck of a boy continue to hold you emotionally hostage in the bedroom. He is not only denying you the great physical pleasure you need, but he's also making you build up emotional walls to survive his neglect. And these kinds of walls can outlast the relationship.

Meaning this stress and this frustration can carry over into the bedroom of the next relationship. We all have emotional baggage, but sexual hangups sometimes have a nasty way of hanging around.

So be a good lover. Take care of yourself first.

He's likely young and stupid, and he's getting away with it. There's more to relationships than sex, but sexual incompatibility can be crushing... and in this case, if you were my sister, id hold him to the wall while you packed your things and left.

Don't play the "hes a great guy but.." card. He is deliberately manipulating you and emotionally binding you.

He is not worth it. Period.

[Homegirl 50]

if your wondering he is not my first sexual partner, basically i keep on pleasing him until he tells me to stop, that way i know he is satisfied. Im 18 by the way.

Yeah, but what about you? You are starting awful young letting boys use and take advantage of you. You need to start caring enough about yourself to put a stop to this kind of thinking. Pee or get off the pot! Do something about it, or quit complaining. If he is selfish, you let him get away with it. This is one you.

[Choux]

I am reminded of something profound "Judge Mathis" says to some of the defendants on his television show.

When a woman complains about how badly her husband/boyfriend treats her, he tells them that they "are volunteers".

I think if you are going to live life as an adult when you aren't quite ready... you run the risk of being "a volunteer" to being pushed around or even abused by dominating people. You can't let this go on, girl, or you will get used to being treated badly.

****Your goal in life is to be happy and to be treated well! :)****

Your boyfriend is very insensitive and apparently only cares about himself and his pleasures.

Time to leave him and move on. At your age, there are a lot of good fish in the sea. Have confidence in yourself that you can land a really good guy. :)

[Alan90]

Pretty similar to my problem :)