[als47]

Ok. So I am 20 years old and lost my virginity at the age of 15. I have always been intriged by sex ever since I could remember. I have never had an orgasm during sex, so therefore I have faked my o's and I have certainly lost count.:rolleyes: I get turned on by porn, but it all comes down to the idea that if I wacth porn with my boyfriend (who I have been dating for 2 years) I know that I won't get turned on if he's there. I don't know if it's because I am used to masturbating to porn alone, or the really big thought is him being turned on by the girls in the flick then me. I have a vibrator and its wonderful. Its called the pink rabbit. I recommend it to any of you ladies out there looking for a new vibrator:) Anyway, I have gotten off plenty of times with my rabbit. Sometimes like 5 times in a row. I don't know if it would be the same orgasm as if I was having intercourse. See the vibrator for me gets me off in my clitorious area. I just wonder what an orgasm feels like during intercourse. Would it feel the same as if using my rabbit? How can I achieve to have an orgasm during intercourse?

[howardhughes]

Hi Als47,

To the best of my knowledge very few women have orgasms during penetrative sex. I find that part of the reason for this is lack of decent foreplay on the part of the man. Why not introduce the rabbit the next time you are having sex and see what happens? Remember too that men are visual consumers of sex. We're quite basic really in a "monkey see, monkey do" sort of way. So when your boyfriend is watching porn with you there is an emotional detachment to what he sees. He won't actually be turned on by the girls, just the act that he sees.
As for different kinds of orgasm, there are three basic ones that I know of for women (i.e. they have different sensations on the body), clitoral, penetrative and multiple. If you can have orgasms with your vibrator then you shouldn't have to fake it - make him work harder!

[kp2171]

Well, positions can vary your feeling... for ex, my partner cannot reach orgasm in the missionary position... she likes how it feels, but it isn't the right stimulation for her. Its just never worked for her, with me or any partner before me.

Woman on top has always been better for her... she can rock forward and back, keeping better pressure in the right places. I have more access to her body, so my hands can be at her waist, her chest, her neck, her rear, etc... and I know some of the "patterns" she likes to build up sexual tension... different stimulations at different times keep it going.

So do you self stimulate when he's inside you? If not, do it. Don't be bashful. The first time you do this it might seem odd, but seriously, if you need cl!toral stim and you can't get enough with intercourse, get it from your hand or his. One girl I dated all but begged for this during sex and I worked, like all the time. Now... she could take stronger pressure there, so if you are more sensitive you might need to use your own fingers or tell him softer if needed.

One of my fav positions is one that never got my partner off until she self stimulated. The first time she did this was the first time wed had simultaneous orgasms together. Jackpot. When she reaches down to self stim I never, ever think "im doing it wrong"... I think "shes absolutely in the moment" and its sexy as sin.

Also, are you mentally lost in the moment during sex? The fact you've always faked it is probably kicking around there, and if you cannot lose yourself in the feelings, you are only half in the game. There are times when my partner can jump right into bed and be ready and primed... but more often than not, its better for me to have my hands and mouth all over her before sex, and to do it all slowly and deliberately, building sexual tension as I sensitize her skin with each kiss or touch. I'm not talking about making out and kissing. I'm talking about her closing her eyes, shutting out the world, laying naked in bed, and feeling me explore her body inch by inch. If I spend 20 minutes on her like this, by the time we have sex she's all but pulling me to her and the chance of getting her to orgasm is so, so much better.

And, as I've mentioned on the boards here before, if I had a gun to my head and was told to get a woman off or else, id do oral. I'm not knocking intercourse at all... intercourse is the best way to have an intimate connection to that person... but I know with oral I can hit a lot of erogenous spots with the right pressure, wetness, and touch. But I'm not saying use oral as a substitute for intercourse... you owe it to yourself to stop faking it and to find what can work for you to make intercourse pleasurable.

[talaniman]

Tell the poor guy what you need him to do, so you don't have to fake it.

[simoneaugie]

Faking orgasms, and I've done it plenty, is lying. If this guy is important to you, tell him the truth.

Clitoral orgasms are usually very intense.
Vaginal orgasms are different in that it is very interpersonal and I find it more satisfying.
Multiple vaginal orgasms are... Well, I hope he has earplugs handy.

I'm sure he will like the real thing too.

[Sarah48375]

For me, I found that having an orgasm was an emotional thing. If I didn't trust the guy, I wouldn't have one. Also I didn't have one till I started allowing myself to really let go during sex. Almost like I had to take down a wall I had put up. I think that sometimes women are not comfortable with themselves or perhaps their bodies and that inhibits them from having the big O. Some women have been taught that sex is wrong or bad. This can have an impact as well.

[MOWERMAN2468]

Try rubbing your clitoris while having intercourse, that should do the trick.

[Choux]

Kp gave an excellent answer as did the others.

I would add that perhaps you are addicted to masturbation? It might be worth the money to talk to a good sex therapist at this time in your life to help sort out your thoughts and feelings and get some sexual exercises for whatever problem you have, *if* you have a problem.

Fabulous orgasmic sex for a woman is a very complicated situation... part genital stimulation(but not necessarily), all body sensuality, partner connection, mind connections, cosmic connections... fabulous.

Not all sexual encounters are the same... some are quickies, and they all the way to the cosmic.

Best wishes in 2008,