[Ann3]

I have been going out with this guy for the past 3 yrs now ,we were getting long well with each other , use to feel as if we are the perfect couple . He's parents does not like me and my family due to religon,status . But I should mention that he even came to my parent and spokrd to them but the only problem was that he's parents are gainst this.and he wants to stop this as he doesn't know what to do.
I was away from him at least every 6 months so when ever I was way he start to forget me because he knows it will easier to do than giving up face to face.
Last time when I was with him we were getting along with each other well as it use to be,as perfect lovers. Now I will be back with him in few weeks and I need to know how to win him .what I should do and don't. I love him so much and I need him always .and this time I will not leave him but I'm sure I will not have much time since my parents are looking for some one for me. Therefore I need to have my love back how can I win him. Help me.

[talaniman]

he start to forget me because he knows it will easier to do than giving up face to face.

Unless he is willing to go against his parents, as you seem to be, there is no winning him back. Sorry.

[KD33]

I agree with the earlier post, you can't get him back unless he is willing to go against his parents as you have to be together.

[Ann3]

Thanks for allyour post ,and I'm trying my best to cure myself with all given advises , as I have mentioned I will be going bk to my home country and I'll be contacting him as so far we have discussed this issue as we will talk to each other when I get there, now this is moment I need to know what I should do, and what should not . Also I don't want him to take advantage of me just for the sake of loving him .
What are the points that I could discuss , I have also thought for myself that I will not have sex with him since I know where we are right now . Will this help me ? Help as I don't want to end up this relationship nor want to have more trouble .also reminding that I'm seen him after 6 moths time.
He has already told his friends that I will be coming over and they have also planned a night out for a week... I do not understand how to react in these moment , help .' I still love him ,but I don't want him to take advantage of me.>>>if he doesn't love me<<<

[talaniman]

I have also thought for myself that I will not have sex with him since I know where we are right now . Will this help me ?

This is a good idea, as the already strong intense feelings will be even greater, with the physical love being involved.

[xiaocake]

Staying the distance and keeping you principle. I can see you are a decent and kind girl. If there is a true love between you, communication will make him decide how to do to win his parents.
You always deserve good people.

[starbuck8]

I don't know how old you are, but I'm assuming you are quite young, and I also assume you are from a country where there are arranged marriages, since your parents are looking for someone for you.

Some questions you could ask him...

--- Is he willing to go against his parents wishes, and possibly be estranged from his
Family?

--- Are you planning on staying in your home country? and if not, would he be willing to
Leave with you at some point?

--- Would he want or expect you to change your religion to his?

--- Ask him if he is going to let his parents rule his life even though he is a man and can
Make his own decisions? (assuming once again that he is a man and not a boy)

--- Ask him what are his thoughts of love and commitment are?

Those are just a few you could bring up, and then go from there.

It's hard to tell how serious of a relationship this was/is if he could forget you when you just go away for a little while every six months. After 3 years he should have a good idea of what he wants, and whether it's to be with you. I'm not a big fan of 'ultimatums', but in this case I think you may need to give him one so you don't waste anymore time waiting and hoping that things will change. It doesn't sound to me like his parents are going to change their mind on their religious positions, so unless he is willing to take a stand for you, I don't see much hope for the two of you in the future. Sorry, I don't mean to sound so harsh, but I think you may already know that.

Tell him the way you would like your relationship to be, and if he isn't in your corner, at least to compromise, and work things through, then you will be better off in the long run to just end it... even though it will hurt for awhile.

The 'no sex' is a good idea too. You might get a lot of info just watching his reaction to that.

Good Luck!