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    imperium's Avatar
    imperium Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 4, 2008, 04:17 PM
    My boyfriend is gray at 30!
    Hi, I don't know if I'm being silly here, but my boyfriend has gone prematurely gray- but I hate it! Lol!

    I've half asked him to dye his hair jokingly, but he laughed it off and said no way, but it makes him look about 45 and really ages him. I'm 6 years younger than him and it makes it worse when we're together. I find it really embarrassing because people comment upon it too, I ALWAYS get asked "How old is your boyfriend- he's gray!!!" somebody even said " i thought that gray guy was your boyfriend for a second there!" He's not a vain person and doesn't see anything wrong with it, but people comment upon it all the time, and it wouldn't bother me except my boyfriend would look younger than his age and a lot better if it wasn't for his grey hair, and he'd also look better if he took care of his hair.

    You're only young once right? And he's going to spend his 30s with white hair at this rate! Its worse at the sides. It's happened in the space of about two years, really, to get it to how bad it is now. I just wish he'd do something because he looks like an old man. And when he gets it cut short it looks worse!! It also looks worse because his stubble and eyebrows are still dark! Am I being unreasonable in thinking like this? I'd find him so much more hotter if he ditched they grey and looked his age, but he doesn't seem to care. And has anybody got ideas for cuts or colours or anything he can do about this? Argh!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Apr 4, 2008, 05:30 PM
    Has it changed the way he acts ? What if he shaved it bald ?
    I know a friend who was gray at 18. If he is happy with who he is, that is what is important.

    If wants to color it, that is his choice, but if he does not, you should respect that.
    2008chrissy's Avatar
    2008chrissy Posts: 131, Reputation: 18
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Apr 5, 2008, 05:11 AM
    You should try to accept your boyfriend's short comings as simply part of him as a whole. We all have things about ourselves that we don't like. My boyfriend is 4 years younger than me and has been balding since he was 16 years old. Do I like it, do I find it attractive? Honestly, no I don't. But I choose to love him for him, for who he is and I am able to overlook the "flaws" I find in him. Sure, sometimes it's difficult when other around you, friends, family, point out these shortcomings. I imagine he too may be insecure or unhappy with his gray hair, so please try to support him. I've learned over the years that trying to change a person, or pushing them towards changing does not usually turn out favorably.
    Best of luck.
    myadvice4you's Avatar
    myadvice4you Posts: 16, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Apr 17, 2008, 08:43 PM
    Geez, it's only gray hair. In the scheme of things, if this is that upsetting to you, then you should end it now, because people age and their appearance will change over time.
    oneguyinohio's Avatar
    oneguyinohio Posts: 1,302, Reputation: 196
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    #5

    Apr 17, 2008, 09:12 PM
    My only suggestion, for what it might be worth, is to entice him with your feminine charms, wink wink... if you know what I mean... he might be willing to go with the hair color if it comes with a promise of looking hotter and sexier for you... leading to the "rewards" that many a man has been tempted into doing far more to obtain... of course continued positive comments and support will go along way into convincing him that him doing that makes him look better to you and others... It is good that he has a positive self image regardless of his looks, but you can tell him you want other women to see him as hot as you do... It might just be that he is uncomfortable getting hair dye and might need a little time to get used to it and not feel funny about it... Is it something you could do for him? Or would he have to go to a salon? He might go for it better if you do it at home... or arrange with someone to give him a private makeover... which you could be there for... might be a good start to a romantic evening out??
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #6

    Apr 18, 2008, 08:04 PM
    Wow...

    My wife is italian. Many italians tend to gray prematurely. I know one who was graying in HS.

    This is going to be harsh... get over yourself. Pretty please?

    If you can't take this, get the hell out. He deserves better than someone who is peer pressured into feeling bad.

    Really??

    Honestly, its OK to realize you want someone with a different image. We all do it. My wife dyes her hair and I like the look. Fine.

    But you asked him and he said no. done! Over!

    So... at this point you agree to accept it or walk away. What you cannot be is a "victim" of older-looking-boyfriend syndrome.
    KalFour's Avatar
    KalFour Posts: 332, Reputation: 46
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    #7

    Apr 18, 2008, 08:13 PM
    I'm 19, and have at least 3 friends who already have grey streaks.
    One of them is really excited about it, because in his family's culture, grey hair is a sign of wisdom. The other 2 simply don't care.
    You could just be upfront with him about it, and ask him to dye his hair. Tell him exactly what you've told us.
    Or you could just not worry about it. Greying hair hardly seems like a massive burden to me. So your boyfriend looks older than you. If people make jokes about you being with that "old guy", you tell them exactly where you stand.

    ... Or add colouring to his shampoo... that could work too. :P

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