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    NuRsE_08's Avatar
    NuRsE_08 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 28, 2008, 08:39 AM
    What to give up - Love or Friendship?
    [F]
    Good day to all members.. im new one here. I'm 20 year old guy of cagayan de oro here in philippines. My sexuality is better known to be bisexual. I just want to ask for your opinion regarding my problem now. I had a friend named eric whom very close to me. We were friends for almost a year. I fell in love with him. At first only sexual and physical things are the basis of this LIKING toward him... but later on, I learned to care for him. And eventually fall in love with him. He is just a typical college guy. The youngest among many siblings. To describe our relationship, were really good friends. We help each other, bond together with our peers and groupmates. He is a very outgoing person. Know what, I cannot say my feelings toward him because I'm afraid and still confused about my sexuality and I'm not confident enough to show to the world that I'm like this. To show to him I like him? I'm giving him idea little by little. Through texts (jokes), the way I care for him, remind him of everything... basta to show CARE for him. Every time that I cannot feel his concern about me in return? I'm getting upset... almost three to four times a week every time he could do things that I don't expect. The bottomline here is, I'm confused if I should remain friends for him and continue suffer from the ups and downs of my emotions towards him? Of just stay away from him? And also taking at risk of our strong closeness and friendship? I really don't know what to do. Now we just graduated from college, and have to go our separate ways... it is right for me to be friends for him the more since this was the last time were together? Or before the time would come that the separation anxiety would kill me... I will be the one to isolate from him? I hope somebody does understand how my situation goes. Thank you very much!! Sent an answers. Thank you very very much. I would really appreciate if you will responese.
    Allheart's Avatar
    Allheart Posts: 1,639, Reputation: 436
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    #2

    Mar 28, 2008, 08:49 AM
    Hi Nurse08,

    First, you don't worry your head about how the world views you... you just be happy in your own self. This is very important before you can even address any type of relationship.

    I feel for you and all the anxiety that you are now experiencing. But I think, honesty, could settle it all.

    Have a chat with your friend and let him know the truth. Be open and honest. If not, you will spend your days in shear turmoil, and what have you gained by doing that?

    Step 1 - Please - do not concern yourself with what others think. Believe it or not, they have issues of their own I bet as well, and have no right to judge you, DO NOT give them that power

    Step 2 - Be honest and open. You may fear losing your friend, but it sounds as though you have a very good friendship. But it will not remain that way anyway, if you are keeping things from him.

    Be okay with who you are. All that you really want to do, is share a part of your heart with someone that you deeply care about. Now does that seem like it should result in all of this anxiety?

    I completely understand why you feel the way you do, but when you break it down, and simplify it, it really comes down to any type of relationship.

    Open and honest, follow your heart and never wear images that other people may place on you.

    May peace enter you soon :)

    My best to you,
    Allheart

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