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    hayleyxx's Avatar
    hayleyxx Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 27, 2008, 05:10 AM
    Emotions don't make sense
    Why can I be OK 1 min with my boyfriend and then the next turn and hate him?
    Il ask him a question I don't like the answer so il turn on him and then say whatever and after a argument il always say its over and I actually feel like I want it over at the time and the next day il regret it, I can be out on a nigh out kiss him until I ask omething he answers and then I hate him and my mood changes. When we argue also I simetimes forget what I've argued about.

    I can think I really love him and the next I don't ans I want to get rid and I'm not bothered until few days later and il regret what I said but il bring arguments up from the past and never forget them about him looking at other girls or about when he hasn't planned smething for us why am I like this? Please help.

    My emotions don't make sense. Xx
    hayleyxx's Avatar
    hayleyxx Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Mar 27, 2008, 05:12 AM
    Am I mad .
    Am I mad??

    I mean I have fallen out with my boyfriend and we have come off a 5 week break and have been together year and a half ad I saw him after and I didn't feel excited yo see him or anything wasn't arsed. We met and argued again and I said I want us over and maybe I don't love you as mauch as you do me and then he hugged me and then felt diff eh??
    Then he text me before went to bed and said night night love you.

    Then I saw him agen we were menna go for a curry on the Saturday and we argued I brought up him staring at another girl in a skirt and how I didn't believe he went to see a mate on the Friday and I then I was awful didn't speak to him and was nasty but then again I kissed him and we hugged when he said I only want you I don't care about other girls.

    And then we were fine for a few minutes then I asked him how many girls have you slept with why I don't no?? He answerd I didn't like the answer so I didn't speak to him agan and said he lied to me and it was a smaller number before when we first met. Then he dropped me at home and I said I don't want to see or hear from you again.

    We have text recently and I v said I don't wann abe with you and whilst I've text it I have meant it but then I can sit at home or at work and think I do love him and I do want him back but all the time my feelings just don't make sense at all I do love him I just don't no what to do and what the hell is wrong with me? I turn on him after alcohol and I can just be nast to him and I don't get why? I do feel I love him sometimes and others I hate him and want him out of my life 4 good and mean it. This isn't normal is it after a year and a half?? HELP please xxxxxx
    SJB1701E's Avatar
    SJB1701E Posts: 164, Reputation: 30
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    #3

    Mar 27, 2008, 05:21 AM
    Are you really so immature you can't respect that he is a different person than you with his own mind and opinions which are also different than yours? Also if you feel you are so incompatible with him that you argue over just questions then maybe you shouldn't be with him. Seriously if he gives you an answer that you disagree with, accept he has a different opinion and let it go. You can't be with anyone if you argue with them at the drop of a hat. Sorry if I'm being rude but seriously, you need to just chill
    hayleyxx's Avatar
    hayleyxx Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Mar 27, 2008, 05:23 AM
    so confused do i or don't i.
    I have a boyfreind and we have just come off a 5 week break now we have spoken since and we have had a few arguments and I told him last weekend I want us over.
    I don't understand myslef because I keep doing thihs to him and saying its over and I actuall mean it. Then when I'm not seeing him I don't miss him really. After 5 weeks apart whe I first saw him I felt nothing. I can feel likei do lovfe him, though and its great but I can send such abuse in texts telling him where to go and I don't feel sorry I've said it at all. Hes so good to me wev been together a year and half.

    Even when we go out we argue because I go mental if I see him looking at blondes in skirts and he denies loolking and I've seen him look. There's just constant battles and arguing with us about silly things like that and I asked him a random question las weekemd didn't like the answer flipped and hated him so much why??

    Is there something wrong with me. When I argue I don't feel upset at all and will text saying I want us over and when I'm with him I don't feel I love him how am I supposesd to feel?? I don't no how I feel and don't no how I am mean to know I love him when I'm with him and other times not at all. Il always have sex with him but he says he gets a feeling inside when he cuddles me and when we have sex I don't get this?? And he gets so upset when we argue I don't. Why am I likethis everything he says he feels I don't get it. I don't feel anything when ikiss h9im and hold him.I just don't understand. I am happy with him when we are going OK but then il argue with him about something and then it esculates and il bring up everything else he's done wrong in the past. I fi love him why am I so awful. Or have I got a illness?? Or Di polar? HELP please xxxxxxxxxx
    hayleyxx's Avatar
    hayleyxx Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 27, 2008, 05:32 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by hayleyxx
    why can i be ok 1 min with my boyfriend and then the next turn and hate him?
    il ask him a question i dont like the answer so il turn on him and then say whatever and after a argument il always say its over and i actually feel like i want it over at the time and the next day il regret it, i can be out on a nigh out kiss him until i ask omething he answers and then i hate him and my mood changes. when we argue also i simetimes forget wht iv argued about.

    i can think i really love him and the next i dont ans i wanna get rid and im not bothered until few days later and il regret what i sed but il bring arguments up from the past and never forget them about him lookin at other girls or about when he hasnt planned smething for us why am i like this? please help.

    my emotions dnt make sense. xx
    Ino I mean I have been with him a year and a half I just don't understand my feeelings. I feel like I love him sometimes andothers I don't. Its not every question. But for example il see him look at another girl in a skirt and he will deniy it and then I just wnt talk to him. We do have some good times together and can get on so well but when we argue il just want it over and il mean it when I say it. I don't feel as thoi miss him eitha really when I'm ot with him. He tells me all these things he feels for rme like when he hugs me and sex but I don't feel the same as him like this. I don't get how ican be so horrid to him but then il think I do want him or I do love him don't I? I don't know ii just want to know I mean I fi saw him with another girl id go MAD. I no I need to chill and hel tell me h only wants me and I just don't believe him. Arrgghhh xxx
    dragnlady5's Avatar
    dragnlady5 Posts: 88, Reputation: 4
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    #6

    Mar 27, 2008, 05:43 AM
    I would leave him alone. Let him move on with his life and get over you. If you don't love him then why put him through this? Walk away for his sake. As for you... get some anger management, go talk to a theripist. Obviously none of us can diagnose over the internet. Go talk to someone who can.
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #7

    Mar 27, 2008, 05:50 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by hayleyxx
    Even when we go out we argue because i go mental if i see him looking at blondes in skirts and he denies loolking and iv seen him look. Theres just constant battles and arguing with us about silly things like that and i asked him a random question las weekemd didn like the answer flipped and hated him so much why?????

    Is there something wrong with me. When i argue i dont feel upset at all and will text saying i want us over and when im with him i dont feel i love him how am i supposesd to feel??? i dont no how i feel and dont no how i am mean to know i love him when im with him and other times not at all. il always have sex with him but he says he gets a feeling inside when he cuddles me and when we have sex i dont get this??????? and he gets so upset when we argue i dont. Why am i likethis everything he says he feels i dont get it. i dont feel anything when ikiss h9im and hold him.i just dont understand. i am happy with him when we are going ok but then il argue with him about something and then it esculates and il bring up everything else hes done wrong in the past. I fi love him why am i so awful. Or have i got a illness??? or Di polar?? HELP please xxxxxxxxxx

    It seems you love him but NOT in love with him, however just let him go no need to punish him for you not wanting this relationship, about you getting mental for looking at other women, it has something to do with your own insecurities.. Hell why shouldn't he look you don't appreciate him. I think you need to just let him go before you do emotional damage to a good man. Also you keep starting fights because you don't really want to be with him, but you stick around because you know he is good.. But don't be selfish.. Let him go, because if you can't put your heart into it take yourself out of it...
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
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    #8

    Mar 27, 2008, 05:59 AM
    Just an 0bservation you posted this question several times.. so I am gathering just by that alone, it's all about you. You want everything to go your way.. If not you get frustrated, angry and upset.. Well the reality is you control what angers you and it seems to me you want to be this way if you didn't you would try not to be this way, and not make people around you suffer.. I think you need to take this time to work on yourself.. let this man go and be happy... your like a time bomb... waiting to explode... Just relax you don't have to be in this relationship its obvious that you don't want him and you don't want anyone else to have him or him to look elsewhere... Selfish don't you think?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #9

    Mar 27, 2008, 06:03 AM
    I hope you listen to the others, because for whatever reason your not being fair to this fellow at all. You have issues to deal with, and some growing up to do, and you both should be having a great time. I'll bet he isn't, and neither can you be. End this, and work on yourself, and let him be free. This is not love or caring. How old are you any way? I'm not a doctor, but you could stand to talk to one. He may be able to at least, point you in the right direction, to get some guidance for your issues.
    hayleyxx's Avatar
    hayleyxx Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Mar 27, 2008, 06:13 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by hayleyxx
    Am i mad???

    i mean i have fallen out with my boyfriend and we have come off a 5 week break and have been together year and a half ad i saw him after and i didnt feel excited yo see him or anything wasnt arsed. We met and argued again and i said i want us over and maybe i dont love you as mauch as you do me and then he hugged me and then felt diff eh?????
    then he text me before went to bed and said night night love you.

    Then i saw him agen we were menna go 4 a curry on the saturday and we argued i brought up him staring at another girl in a skirt and how i didnt beleive he went to see a mate on the friday and i then i was awful didnt speak to him and was nasty but then again i kissed him and we hugged when he said i only want you i dont care about other girls.

    And then we were fine for a few mins then i asked him how many girls have you slept with why i dont no??? he answerd i didnt like the answer so i didnt speak to him agan and sed he lied to me and it was a smaller number before when we first met. Then he dropped me at home and i said i dont wanna see or hear from you again.

    We have text recently and i v said i dont wann abe with you and whilst iv text it i have meant it but then i can sit at home or at work and think i do love him and i do want him back but all the time my feelings just dont make sense at all i do love him i just dont no what to do and what the hell is wrong with me? i turn on him after alchol and i can just be nast to him and i dont get why? i do feel i love him sometimes and others i hate him and want him out of my life 4 good and mean it. This isnt normal is it after a year and a half????? HELP please xxxxxx
    I do love him though I do want him I'm just confused with my feelings though. We can get on really well but I then get paranoid when we are out together and thinkhes looking at other girls. When we do argue well I can't drop things and bring up things from the past. I do want to be with him but like example ev had 5 week break and then saw him las Saturday and the we argued again and I asked him a question and didn't like the answer so I didtn talk to him. When we fall out though I don't feel as though I miss him and he tells me how much he love me and only me and how he feels when he cuddles me but I don't get that feeling I want to.
    I just don't understand myself. I just no why I don't noi f I love him or not I keep changing all the time and I don't seem to be botherd not seeing him really. I keep looking at my phone wanting to text him but if I say I love him I don't want to say it if I don't mean it xxx
    in a state's Avatar
    in a state Posts: 80, Reputation: 12
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    #11

    Mar 27, 2008, 06:14 AM
    You're a teenager,right?
    Before you ask him any questions,you should be aware of the fact that his answer won't be the one you WANTED to hear.He's not your toy or a robot,he has his own brain and heart and will tell you what he thinks/feels,even though you don't agree with it.you cannot control him,and it's wrong to judge or to want to control.
    You should try controlling yourself when you go crazy over little things.why ask him with how many girls he had slept with?why did that matter?you weren't a part of his life back then,were you?he did have one before you.
    It's as if you're looking for reasons to get upset and fight about.
    It's not OK to ''go mental'' at him for looking at other girls... of course he will deny it just to avoid you throwing another fit.who likes that?just TALK to him and tell him you don't like it when he does that.don't be aggressive about it.especially if you're in public.it's vulgar
    But,my guess is,after you've said you go from hot to cold,you love him now,hate him 5 minutes after-for nothing-... he's not right for you and you're not right for him.I doubt that you are sick,you're just... not in love with him.you're possessive and taking him for granted.maybe you should find someone who you'd be happy with and let him find someone who would appreciate him better
    hayleyxx's Avatar
    hayleyxx Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Mar 27, 2008, 06:18 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by hayleyxx
    I have a boyfreind and we have just come off a 5 week break now we have spoken since and we have had a few arguments and i told him last weekend i want us over.
    I dont understand myslef becasue i keep doing thihs to him and saying its over and i actuall mean it. Then when im not seeing him i dont miss him really. After 5 weeks apart whe i first saw him i felt nothing. I can feel likei do lovfe him, tho and its great but i can send such abuse in texts telling him where to go and i dont feel sorry iv sed it at all. Hes so good to me wev been together a year and half.

    Even when we go out we argue because i go mental if i see him looking at blondes in skirts and he denies loolking and iv seen him look. Theres just constant battles and arguing with us about silly things like that and i asked him a random question las weekemd didn like the answer flipped and hated him so much why?????

    Is there something wrong with me. When i argue i dont feel upset at all and will text saying i want us over and when im with him i dont feel i love him how am i supposesd to feel??? i dont no how i feel and dont no how i am mean to know i love him when im with him and other times not at all. il always have sex with him but he says he gets a feeling inside when he cuddles me and when we have sex i dont get this??????? and he gets so upset when we argue i dont. Why am i likethis everything he says he feels i dont get it. i dont feel anything when ikiss h9im and hold him.i just dont understand. i am happy with him when we are going ok but then il argue with him about something and then it esculates and il bring up everything else hes done wrong in the past. I fi love him why am i so awful. Or have i got a illness??? or Di polar?? HELP please xxxxxxxxxx
    I'm 18. We can have some lovely times I just don't understand my feelings at all. Year and a half together, il argue wi him then il get upset whenhe hugs me. But that Saturday it was the night after 5 weeks I thought it was make uptime and it wasn't at all wasn't nice atmosphere and we argueed agen. He tells me how much he feels when he hugs me and kisses me and well I don't get that feeling. I see him nearly everyweekend and now afta the break we decided to see are friends more. Sometimes I feel like I can't trust him and he reassures m ehed never hurt me. And how he only wants me. I just don't get it I feel the same soetimes just not every time. I don't yhink I need help like that though.
    SJB1701E's Avatar
    SJB1701E Posts: 164, Reputation: 30
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    #13

    Mar 27, 2008, 06:18 AM
    You have insecurity and trust issues obviously from the way you react when he looks at other women. I would really strive for the "look but dont touch" policy but I know your emotions aren't always the easiest to control. You need to realise that arguments require two people. Sometimes its just better to let things go and avoid the argument. You really sound like you need to take a step back and figure out your feelings on your own. You need to take some time and focus on yourself and your feelings. You seem pretty possessive of him like you want him give you love and attention, but you don't want to return it. That's why you only "love" him when you think your going to lose him. Real love is a constant thing. You love them when your angry, sad, happy, stressed, apart, together, and everythign in between. That's what love should feel like. I would really take some time to figure things out about yourself because you don't sound like you have a firm grasp on your emotiones.
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE's Avatar
    bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE Posts: 1,051, Reputation: 112
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    #14

    Mar 27, 2008, 06:21 AM
    Please spell check dear. It helps us read your question better.

    How old are you and your boyfriend?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #15

    Mar 27, 2008, 06:24 AM
    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2590134, This is her whole story, and it should be noted she asked the same question in her other posts.
    hayleyxx's Avatar
    hayleyxx Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Mar 27, 2008, 06:26 AM
    Ye mayb ei should let him go I do take him for granted yes. I v tried talking about it with him about him looking but evrything I say he doednt listen. I think maybe I want everything all my own way all the time and maybe spoilt. I feel I love him wev had lovely holidays together paris this vaentines day . I don understand why I can't drop arguments and move on I cant. I am paranoid when we go out and I don't like it I don't want to be like that. When we argue we have the worst when I've had summet to drink and I turn on him if I see him lookinat a girl. I want ot love him but don't know why I don't no if I love him or not. He looks after me treats me right. I keep wanting to text him now and then wel make up and then il say sorry but don't no what I'm sorry for then wel argue agen few days later about sumet else. Xx
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,514, Reputation: 1860
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    #17

    Mar 27, 2008, 06:29 AM
    >Threads Merged<
    Please stick to ONE thread per issue rather than spam posting the same thing.
    hayleyxx's Avatar
    hayleyxx Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Mar 27, 2008, 06:30 AM
    I'm 18 he's 23. I'm scared imneve going to know my feelings though. I no I'm insecure that's bad but I can't help it its like something makes me argue with him when he looks at a female ridiculous. I hate being like this and I want to love him. I like cuddling him but I don't miss him when I'm not with him. And he does me. I don't feel what he feels when he says he hugs me and he gets this feeling I don't get that. Xxx
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #19

    Mar 27, 2008, 07:26 AM
    he hugs me and he gets this feeling I don't get that. Xxx
    You really don't need to be in a relationship until you do get it. Get some help sorting out your own feelings, and getting to know yourself, and learning to be happy with who you are. It can be a great journey.
    hayleyxx's Avatar
    hayleyxx Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Mar 27, 2008, 07:34 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by hayleyxx
    why can i be ok 1 min with my boyfriend and then the next turn and hate him?
    il ask him a question i dont like the answer so il turn on him and then say whatever and after a argument il always say its over and i actually feel like i want it over at the time and the next day il regret it, i can be out on a nigh out kiss him until i ask omething he answers and then i hate him and my mood changes. when we argue also i simetimes forget wht iv argued about.

    i can think i really love him and the next i dont ans i wanna get rid and im not bothered until few days later and il regret what i sed but il bring arguments up from the past and never forget them about him lookin at other girls or about when he hasnt planned smething for us why am i like this? please help.

    my emotions dnt make sense. xx
    How do I go about this then? I want to be with him but I just don't no what to do. And why does he want to be with me I fim awful to him? Do you think thers summet seriously wrong with me or could it be I'm spoilt and want it all my way or selfish and can't see where I'm wrong? All ino is mo9st nights we have out are a disaster. Xxx

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