[skaapie]

I am 21 years old and a virgin. I get aroused rather easily but not problematically so. I'm originally from South Africa but I've been studying inCanada for the past 6 months. I'm in a rather stressful situation just with being so far from home and having a difficult friendship with a roommate so, to try and relieve some stress and make myself feel good I masterbate. I use to feel bad about it but I don't any-more :)
However I have reached a stage where I feel I'm doing it too much, I've done t once a day for the past 4 days which I guess isn't so bad but here's the problem; I'm an artist and I'm straining my wrist up to the point of being concerned about really damaging it. I also go over-board and tend to hurt my vagina as well. On top of this when I'm aroused I feel so wanting but as soon as I reach what I think is a climax I suddenly become overly-sensitive and it just hurts. So basically I'm hurting myself AND I don't feel satisfied. Frankly I just want to kick the habit because, despite what it feels like when I'm in the mood it's never worth it.
Is there anything I can do to stop myself when I'm in the irrational "Let's just do it once" mood? Is there a natural vitamin I could take to lower my sexual apatite? Does any-one have any advice on what I could do? Any advice or suggestions will be appreciated

[simoneaugie]

B-complex vitamins can calm you. Try masturbating a whole new way. Barely touch yourself and use the hand not used for art. Try the falling water from faucet in the bathtub. It hurts because you are using your body too much, so let your mind do most of the work.

Masturbation is a good relaxation tool and once a day is not excessive. Make a date with yourself and play nice.

[skaapie]

Simoneaugie, I actually just bought some B-Complex vitamins to help with stress! But I haven't been taking them as often as I should. I had no idea they could help with that as well, thank you so much for cluing me in to that :) I will make a conscious effort to take them once a day from now on.

Thank you for the other advice as well, it's true what you said. I fantasize when I'm starting but once I reach that point I get too excited and start to "try too hard". I will try to relax more. And thank you for easing my mind about once a day not being excessive, :)

[Credendovidis]

... Does any-one have any advice on what I could do? Any advice or suggestions will be appreciated

Aangename kennis! Ag arm skaapie. So alleen ver van ons geboortegrond! :)
Nothing wrong with some self-help. Just try to reduce the physical part, and - as already suggested by others - let your mind do most of the job! Don't worry too much about it. Once a day sounds rather normal...
:)

[hollylovesbrandon]

Toys such as vibrators and clitoral stimulators don't really take as much physically out of you as the way you are doing it now. And also, don't stress about how often you are doing it. It is perfectly normal for a 21 year old female to have that sexual need that needs to be filled. You do need to slow down on doing it until you have healed from the last times (since you say you are hurting yourself) or until you find new tools and ways to do it.

[kp2171]

Some great advice has already been given.

As far as trying to reduce the amount you masturbate, consider exercise when that desire hits. Going out for a walk, run, bike ride, etc... you'll get needed exercise, perhaps walk out the desire, and mentally you'll feel good as the endorphins released can help ease anxiety and stress. Increased blood flow to the brain and throughout your body helps you feel better. Exercise helps you get better, restful sleep. So this might help with your stress, and maybe it'll relax you enough that you don't need to be a "problem solver" as much.

Now... exercise can also kick up your libido, but forcing yourself to exercise your body first isn't a bad to try, especially when you are stressed.

As for how to masturbate without pain, again, some great suggestions have been made. Perhaps you are forcing the orgasm, having to work hard because you aren't quite mentally stimulated... what you'd get with foreplay with a partner.

This is an adult forum, so anything discussed that's sexually graffic isn't mean to be shocking. Its just about facts and truth.

Being the most mentally stimulated you can be is key. For ex, doing this when it is unlikely you will be caught takes away that stress. Don't know your living conditions, but privacy helps you relax... so try to find the best private time and maybe don't force it when you can't get it.

Try taking a hot shower that gets your body relaxed. You can use water as mentioned for stimulation of your cl!toris, as mentioned... but don't rush there. Your skin is your biggest errogenous zone. Use it all.

For ex. If the shower has a tub, turn on the water, and close the tub drain, letting the water collect as you would if you were taking a bath. Kneel down in the tub, with your back to the falling water, legs tucked under you, and your hands on the tub floor... essentually you are half bent over.

Let the warm water rain down over you... focusing your mind on your skin, how the drops feel on your back, how the water feels running over your hair and face. Stay in this position for several minutes, focusing your mind, focusing your breathing. At the same time, listen to the water. It will be pooling in the tub, and over time will start to sound more like rain as the spray hits the water you are kneeling in. just close your eyes and experience the sensations. Doing this in a dark bathroom, or one with a lit candle can heighten the sensations. Take the time to feel the water over your bare body.

Then, turn. As the tub fills with warm water more you can turn so the shower hits your torso... your chest, abs, pelvis, legs. Water in the face may not be pleasurable, so adjusting the showerhead before you kneel so it'll be at the right angle isn't a bad idea. At this point, you might find yourself ready to self stimulate, while the water keeps sensitizing your skin.

Whether you self stim in the tub or leave the bath and go into a warm room is up to you. As mentioned, try a different touch, and again... remember your entire body has errogenous zones. For ex, nipple stimulation with your fingers releases chemicals that further sensitizes your skin and sends blood to your pelvis, engourging tissues and delivering stimulating chemicals. Fingers drawn over your neck or abs or pelvis, all of these things done slowly, letting your mind get lost, can further arouse you.

If you are getting off largely with finger insertion stimulation, which is what I assumed with your hand issues, try holding back on this. Is it possible for you to lightly trace around the outside with your fingers, as your cl!toris is not just a "hot button" but has a shaft that runs up and inside your body (why pressure at the pubic bone can be nice) and spilts into two cl!toral "legs" that follow around and down (why your inner labia can be responsive to touch or oral)... and when you stim the cl!toris, as mentioned in other posts, think about soft, light, wet touches. One hand at your pelvis, the other drawn over your chest or a finger in your mouth or tugging at an earlobe. See if light, soft stimulation can get you there, especially with your other hand or even using both lightly.

As mentioned, a vibrator is also a good alternative stimulation. My partner has a cute little pink one, quiet and easy to hide.

So the more you can get yourself to mentally be aroused and lost in the moment, the better. Not knocking an orgasm brought about by "brute force", with your hand willing your body to reach orgasm... sometimes you can't take a long shower, or you just need off now. But the more you can train yourself to lose your mind in the moment, perhaps the less work you will have to do to solve your problem.

Just some thoughts.

[paipai]

Good porn videos + vibrators!

[JudyKayTee]

This thread is from 2008 - please keep an eye on the dates.

The person who asked hasn't been back in 3 years.