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the lost man · Mar 17, 2008, 05:32 AM

Well me and my wife have been married 2 years and she took off left the kid and the kid is upset that her mom left her again she did it ounce and lost bouth children before we were married so I got the daughter back for her and now she abandened the child again the child is 16 turning 17 in 10 mounths she don't want to go live with her or nouthing and she wants to stay with me and it makes the mouther mad that she don't want to live with her in the situation she is in witch I can't blame her but the wife wants a divorce and the daughter is scared that she is going totake her from me how can I keep her some one please give me some ideals please

HELLOKITTY31 · Mar 17, 2008, 05:59 AM

Well the mother can't get her because she did leave her daughter with you. Plus the daughter is amost 17 she can pick where she wants to live I know I have been though this.
Ask her daughter where she wants to live and have here to write it down and sign it. Her mother left her that is so sorry for her mother to leave her.

ScottGem · Mar 17, 2008, 06:17 AM

Its not true that the daughter can pick where she wants to live. Until she is 18 the decision is not hers. She can certainly express her opinion and, at her age, that opinion will be given significant weight, but the decision will be made by a family court judge.

However, since she left, has done this before and since the girl wants to stay with you, I think your chances of retaining custody are very good. The only problem you might have is the fact that you are not her natural father and that you have only been in her life a few years.

Bluerose · Mar 17, 2008, 08:41 AM

I know in UK things are different but my grandson chose to live with me and he was only 11.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 17, 2008, 08:57 AM

In the US courts, the child and tell the judge where they want to live, but the other two sides also tells the judge and shows with evidence what is best for the child, so the child's opinoin is looked at, but not the final say.

At this point, you need to file for custody of the teenager in family court and see what happenes.

ScottGem · Mar 17, 2008, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by bluerose

I know in UK things are different but my grandson chose to live with me and he was only 11.

You need to expand on this. Did your grandson, just up and say one day that he wanted to live with grandma and move in? Or did his parents give him permission to move in or did they fight it, or did a judge affirm his choice?

The point here is that a minor cannot choose (and I don't think its all that different in the UK) where they want to live. Until they are 18 a parent has responsibility for them. But that doesn't mean the child (at any age) can express a preference. If the parents are willing let the child move in with someone, then it was the parents decision to allow it. If a judge orders that you can have custody or guardianship, then it was the judge's decision. But I do not believe an 11 yr old boy could just up and decide for himself where he wanted to live. I doubt if any cvountry would just allow that.

Bluerose · Mar 17, 2008, 05:33 PM

Sorry. You're right. I have covered it many times and was assuming people would remember. Everyone was in agreement. And the judge commented that the child had voted with his feet.

talaniman · Mar 20, 2008, 11:11 AM

Get a lawyer, and take this through the court system, and get full custody, and make the wife pay child support.