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sonu73 · Mar 13, 2008, 07:49 PM

My 8 yr old boy is not able to clean himself properly after poop, which stained his underwears.. its disgusting but he doesn't feel bad at all.. He developed this habit in 2-3 months before... we explained him so many times to improve it.. grounded him... gave him time out... seems nothing working.. Its so disgusting that I can't ask with my friends.. Please help me...

Thanks

N0help4u · Mar 13, 2008, 07:54 PM

Does he ever get it good?
You need to praise him and treat him when he does
Maybe buy some under roos with his favorite character on them and give him a pair when he gets it right. Or something special.
Something along those lines anyway

cerisa · Mar 14, 2008, 10:35 AM

At 8 yrs. Old this may be a sign that something is going wrong in his life. Talk to him about his worries . This may be emotional problems, or just school, friendship, ego problems.
It could be something more serious. It is a signal he needs help.

N0help4u · Mar 14, 2008, 10:47 AM

At 8 I guess the under roos wouldn't work but something along the lines of reward for good behavior. Like cerisa said he most likely has something bothering him and upsetting him about this could only make him feel more pressure
But at 8 you should be able to reason with him and see what is bothering him.
Try asking him what is bothering him, Why he won't wipe his butt and tell him that it can be a serious health problem.
Maybe ask him what he is going to do if the kids start to tease him because he has a bad oder about him?

flossie · Mar 14, 2008, 11:01 AM

If your son is not able to clean himself well with tissue, why not get some flushable wipes for him to use, the dampness of the wipes may help him to a better job with cleanup.

MOWERMAN2468 · Mar 14, 2008, 11:01 AM

cerisa is right on track here. I think there is something that maybe you are not aware of causing this problem. Talk to his teachers and see if anything is going on at school.

NowWhat · Mar 20, 2008, 06:25 AM

I have a 7 year old girl. Wiping is an issue for us. It always has been. At first, I thought her arms weren't long enough to get a good swipe. (Man, I feel strange talking about this)
When little girls don't wipe properly, things like urinary track infections happen.
We have battled those a bit, and that helps with the wiping, she knows if she doesn't wipe properly, sooner or later it's going to burn when she pees.

I know, this doesn't really apply to a boy.

Personally, I think at this age they are so busy doing whatever they are doing - they can't be bothered with "wiping till white".
Have you explained to him that if he doesn't wipe properly and leaves poo behind, he will start to stink? And then he will be made fun of at school?

I agree with what one poster said about flushable wipes. Best thing I ever bought. Worth giving it a try. You could also stand over him while he is doing his business. Let him know that if he can't get himself clean like a "big boy" then you will have to treat him like a baby - this, of course, will embarrass him - but it may work.

J_9 · Mar 20, 2008, 06:47 AM

Originally Posted by NowWhat

You could also stand over him while he is doing his business. Let him know that if he can't get himself clean like a "big boy" then you will have to treat him like a baby - this, of course, will embarrass him - but it may work.

Sorry NW, I have to totally disagree with this statement. Please, please do not humiliate your child like this. If there is a deep seated emotional problem causing this behavior, this will only compound his problems.

It really could be a number of things. It could be something emotional, or it could be that he is an 8 year old boy who is just too busy to take the time to wipe completely. Time to sit him down and have a long talk about cleanliness. This could cause problems other than stains. It could cause problems such as skin breakdown, and since there is e-coli in poop, you guessed it, he could get sick from this.

At 8 years old boys are not the cleanliest little things in the world, but you really need to discuss proper hygiene with him.

XxRoosterXx · Mar 20, 2008, 11:13 AM

You have received lots of good advice. Only one thing that I would like to add. Think about ways to address this with him that will make him want to fix the problem. Maybe sit down with him and talk to him and make him feel special and mature. Once you get him completely on board then he will want to try. Just please remember, your boy isn't doing this to make you mad or because it's funny. Don't regret how you handled this years from now. I'm sure he wants your love and approval as much as you want to give it. Good luck

NowWhat · Mar 20, 2008, 02:40 PM

Let me just clarify that humliation isn't the target of my last statement.
Standing over the child while he does his business to ensure that he is doing it and doing it properly is the goal. Not embarrassing him or shaming him.

As J_9 pointed out, it can be harmful to his health if he doesn't wipe properly.

It has been said that he just doesn't care - maybe if he was reminded by having a parent with him, he will get the picture.

Samini81 · Mar 20, 2008, 02:46 PM

Instead of just toilet paper you may try putting baby wipes in the bathroom and tell him after he wipes with TP to use a baby wipe to make sure any dry stuff that the TP missed he gets also let him know if its in his underwear then its still on his butt and he doesn't want to go around smelling like poop all day tell him you are only saying this to avoid teasing by the other kids, unfortunately my 12 yr old nephew still on occasion does this, its probably not that he doesn't care its just that he gets in such a hurry to get out of the bathroom and get back to whatever else he was doing that he doesn't wipe completely

XxRoosterXx · Mar 21, 2008, 08:10 AM

I'm sorry NW I must have misunderstood your post. I agree that it could be harmful not having proper hygene. I think though that they must be mindful that they do not make matters worse by lowering his self esteem. The parents are the ones that are going to have to judge this.

mariposa11 · Mar 21, 2008, 10:58 PM

I am a mom, and I'll be damned if my solution to this problem was to "shame" my child. If you want your son's behavior to change, then yours has to change. There should not be a punishment for poor wiping. There should be a reward for doing well. A sore behind and rancid odor is punishment enough, don't you think? I suggest you make a chart. Ask your son to call you in after he has attempted to clean his bottom. Give him a wipe yourself. If it comes up clean, or mostly clean, award him a sticker, star, whatever. After he accumulates X number of stars (I suggest 5 for a couple of weeks, then 10, then 20) take him to the dollar store and let him pick a prize. Keep in mind this encourages him to take his time without belittling him when he is careless. Do not take away previously earned stars, this is over punishment and teaches him that past achievements don't count. Be fair and consistent and don't get angry when he doesn't do as well as you'd like. Be positive and encouraging toward him, no matter what. If he does poorly you say, "I see you tried, but I know you can do better. i am sorry, you didn't earn a star this time." If he does well, "Hey! Great job! I am so proud of you! Come pick out a sticker (or draw a your own star) for your chart. Way to go!" Follow through and buy the presents. In no time he'll be wiping like a champ without feeling disgusting or dirty.