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    finalflash's Avatar
    finalflash Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 11, 2008, 11:47 PM
    Don't know what to do to clear my heart ache!
    OK I have an ex girlfriend and we broke up about 8 months ago, but still we been there for each other ever since, I'm still single, she's still single. I never smothered her, I was there to make her smile when needed, and we went through our little phases when we didn't talk and she would get mad when I didn't call her for a few weeks thinking I'm a and vice versa. Whenever she's down I always have the ability to make her feel better, and she can barely talk when I'm making her laugh so hard. We even go to sleep a lot when talking on the phones at night. I occasionally hang out with the girl, and treat her to something to eat when we hang out and invite her to events. Everything seems perfect, she's happy being around me, and I'm happy when I speak to her. And for all you people who want to probably use the word clingy, no I'm not, I give her space, and we call on equal terms. So how the hell can 2 people have this connection, and yet she doesn't want to get back together, I don't understand. I mean I did everything for this girl and now she's starting to like some other guy that is an to her and occasionally nice. I mean yes I want some advice, but I also want to know what more could it possibly take to win somebodies heart? I mean come on, when I think back on the stuff I did it pisses me off that she doesn't give me the time of day in a relationship category yet she still says she loves me, it doesn't make sense. SO PLEASE HELP ME! I mean this girl is special to me, and I have the greatest connection with her ever, must I really kick somebody like this out of my life?
    SJB1701E's Avatar
    SJB1701E Posts: 164, Reputation: 30
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Mar 12, 2008, 12:11 AM
    Be a MAN... she has no reason to be attracted to you anymore.. your whipped... you may give her space and may not be clingy, but shenever she says jump you ask how high. Stop being so available to her. Go date other people. She has to be the one to chase you, if you chase her you'll never get her. Make yourself a man again in her eyes. Make yourself a man again for yourself. Right now you are no challenge for her, therefore there's no excitement. No excitement = no attraction. You, my friend are on a fast track to the friendzone. Be less available. Be "too busy" for her. Make her crave yyour attention. This will make you attractive again. If she doesn't chase you, its too late anyway. Cut her off and move on. If she does chase you and eventually get YOU back, stay a man and keep it exciting. Don't over spoil her. Don't give her everything she asks for. Don't jump just cause she tells you to. Sorry to be harsh, but I wish I had known this before it was too late.
    finalflash's Avatar
    finalflash Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Mar 12, 2008, 01:25 PM
    But why is she acting like this? She seems like she wants to be more friend like, but to my knowledge girls don't usually tend to stay close and respond to your every call. Yet she says she likes somebody else?
    peggyhill's Avatar
    peggyhill Posts: 907, Reputation: 150
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Mar 12, 2008, 01:37 PM
    Maybe she still cares for you, but has realized that she wants you as a friend rather than a boyfriend. Sometimes people can really care for each other, but they know it wouldn't work out. I think maybe it might help to distance yourself for a while, if it's hurting you to see her like other guys. If she asks why you aren't around, just tell her that you still want to be more than friends, but you know she doesn't, and it's easier for you to deal with it if you stay away for a little while.

    I think it's great when people can stay friends after a breakup, but if it's hurting you to see her date, take a break from her. Try to get over her, and when you feel ready, date other girls, because it sound like she doesn't want the same thing as you. I'm sorry you are going through this! :( She might even change her mind and decide she does want to be with you. But don't hang around waiting for her to change her mind. It's too bad she likes a guy who isn't as nice, but sometimes we have to learn the hard way, I guess. If it's meant to be between you two, it will happen. But for now, don't miss out on other dating opportunities, because it sounds like she is moving on.

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