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jojo114 · Mar 11, 2008, 06:25 PM

What should I do?? My friend met this guy not too long ago and he seems to like her very much and she used to also. This guy became one of my good friends. And she is planning to break up with him. I don't want her to I meen they seem to be getting along just fine why should they go throw it all away.

I guess its just my past relashionships that are looking out to find a good guy for my best friend. Even thow I know she has one, but she doesn't think so. She doesn't like him anymore because of his religion... that is so stupid if you love someone even if their blue it shouldn't really matter. The worst thing is that she is leading him on she says I'm going to break up with him tomorrow, oh no wait Saturday. And this Saturday I know she will do it. I meen he keeps telling me things that we will do altogether like 4 friends me his friend him and my best friend. And I have to keep saying you. But the thing is I know it won't happen because once she breaks up with him she will probably not want to see his face no more. And this guy does not really deserve this, because he's really nice. And I don't want him to suffer she's treating him badly. Me as a best friend to her and a good friend to him ,I don't know what to do? HELP?

Chrissyg89 · Mar 13, 2008, 10:08 PM

The big question is, how long did they date. And religion sometimes does make a dif because it makes people veiw life in different ways. But about the break up, its better she break up with him if she doesn't feel it. Honselty it sounds like you may have a small crush yourself. But remember just be there for her, she was your friend first and she prob will be for a long time more. This happens a lot, and it sucks, but sometimes you have to learn to separate the always going to be there friends (her) from the probably temp ones ( whoever she's dating) Plus it doesn't sound like he's totally horrible, so you never know, they may stay friends. Wel... Good luck.

jojo114 · Mar 15, 2008, 07:19 PM

Thanks

JBeaucaire · Mar 15, 2008, 08:45 PM

Let your friend do what she thinks is best. Then be there to support her. That's the best way you can be a friend to her.

You need to reconsider your "feelings make everything OK" attitude. They really don't. You can't control your feelings, you can't control who you fall for or whom you like. You just can't... it's chemistry and it happens on its own.

So, your mind HAS to kick in at some point and start accurately judging whether the guy you like is actually a good match or not. And it usually "not", you'll date a lot of guys (and you'll LIKE them all!) before all the external things line up enough to call it a match.

Religion is one of the BIG ones, too. Don't you ever ignore significant religious differences. Marrying someone of a different faith system is like asking for a stress-filled home life... unless you convert, of course. And even then it only works if the conversion is your own idea... oh, don't get me started.

Just don't ignore the big real-life differences between yourself and the guys you "like" or even "love". They are absolutely relevant, some of them ultimately more than your feelings. Does this make sense?