[Jessie1234]

OK my mom doesn't know I have sex... and she will die if I tell her I'm pregnant and I can't tell her but I can't go to the docs anyway cause she is always always in the room with me.. and my doctor will tell her.. and when she gets the bill won't it say pregnancy test I really really need help!! :( I am soooo cunfused what do I tell her:confused:

[JoeCanada76]

You need to tell her the truth. How old are you? You put yourself in that situation and it is up to you to take care of the baby. Some people will try to make decisions for you but remember no matter what it is your decision on what needs to be done.

[RickJ]

Assuming it is evident - and you are firmly convinced - that your mother loves you:

Take as many deep breaths as you need: and hmbly tell her.

I promise you, Jessie, you will FEEL the load off your heart and back afterwards. Yes, It might be a few hours or days afterwards, but it will be worth it.

[Jessie1234]

Bui am only 14 and I don't know how to tell her because... its my sisters ex boyfriend son and he is 14 too

[JoeCanada76]

You need to be honest and open. There is no ifs and or butts. Time to share the truth.

[PrettyLady]

I agree with the other answers. Jessie, you will need to see a doctor, so tell your mother as soon as possible. Don't be afraid to tell her, sit down and talk to her or write her a letter. You are your mother's daughter no matter what the situation is, your mother will get a little worried at first, but she will be supportive of you.

[momincali]

If my 14 year old daughter were pregnant, I'd want to know immediately so that she wouldn't feel so alone. It's scary, but so what, it needs to be done. Yes, I'd be mad as hell and my reaction may put the fear of heck into her, but I would not stop loving her for one millisecond! I know how scary and confusing it can be for a young girl to be in that situation. I'm sure all of your friends are telling you what to do, but stop, and for once, listen to a grown up. We have a little, no actually a lot more experience then a teenager. Do it soon, before your boyfriend tells his mom, you don't want her to know before yours.

I got knocked up without being married, my boyfriend didn't want to be a dad. I was sure my mom would hit the roof and my dad would disown me. Boy, was I wrong. My mom said she already knew just by the way I was acting and how I was feeling and my dad hugged me, kissed me and said "we're here for you!" Unless she's going to physically beat you down, tell her today!

[Chery]

Whether your mom or anyone else knows you have sex now is not the issue anymore, they all will soon enough. You should have thought about this before doing it unprotected and with the b/f of your sister. He sure had a lot of fun and does not respect either of you. You need to see a doctor for more reasons than just to check you out for pregnancy, but also STD and HIV and lord know what other dangers.

Believe us, your mom will be there for you, even if she restricts you and yells at you - it certainly can't be worse than it is now. Can you imagine what she'll feel like if she's the last to know - put yourself in her shoes for just one minute, and stop messing your life up more than it is now. The worst thing you can do to your mother if you love her is not trust her enough to make the right judgment and take care of you no matter what. Don't make her feel like the dirty end of the stick here, please. She does not deserve this. If you take a real hard look at your situation, the only one that will really be there for you is your mom - so do the right thing. You are not the only 14 year old in this situation, unfortunately, so get the support and help from your mom, please. No matter what, this is not going to be easy, so get it over with and you'll feel a lot better. "Fessing up, is part of growing up"!

Lots of luck, and keep us posted.

[Myth]

I was very very young when I lost my virginity. I don't regret anything in my life... even that because it has helped me learn. When I was first pregnant with my oldest and I told my mother sure she ranted and raved but you know what... that first reaction was just that a knee jerk reaction. After that she was supportive and was very helpful in those first few baths and feedings and I wouldn't give that up for anything. So have faith in your mom you might even be surprised to see she already knows... Us moms can be insightful as well as play dumb. We know what's normal for our children and how they should act, walk, talk, breath when they're sleeping. Regardless of your mistakes and serious need to have a fat reality slap. Try not to stress too much and trust your mom to take care of you. She's done it since before your birth and no matter what the age of adulthood where you are. She will continue to do so... Take heart hun, delaying the inevetable won't make you feel better. Keep us posted too. We would like to be able to not worry about you either since most of us here are either parents or have neices or nephew's that are your age we do care. Hope everything go's OK.

[PrettyLady]

Jessie, is a young girl that is afraid to tell her mother that she is pregnant, and the last thing she wants to read is how mad and upset her mother is going to be at her. So Rick, Jesushelper and I tried to get her to tell her mother without mentioning how upset the mother would be because she might delay telling her. I hope she did inform her mother because this young girl is going to need to see a doctor right away.

[momincali]

Jessie, is a young girl that is afraid to tell her mother that she is pregnant, and the last thing she wants to read is how mad and upset her mother is going to be at her. So Rick, Jesushelper and I tried to get her to tell her mother without mentioning how upset the mother would be because she might delay telling her. I hope she did inform her mother because this young girl is going to need to see a doctor right away.

I can only speak for myself, but the reason I mentioned how mad I would be as a mom is because it's true! I would be furious, but the main reason I mentioned it, is because on the high possibility that her mom becomes angry, Jessie should understand that regardless of how mad her mom is, she will never stop loving her. I don't want Jessie to feel for a moment that her mother's anger means she has changed her feelings about her. I wanted her to see it from a mother's perspective that regardless, she is her daughter and she cares deeply and the anger is part of being afraid for her. Jessie needs to understand and partially expect this to happen, but at the same time know that her mother deeply loves her and that doesn't change because she's pregnant. I also mentioned that I would want to know asap so that she wouldn't feel and have to deal with this alone.

[daehnolem]

Jessie, I agree, you really should tell your mom as soon as possible. You need her, so you don't have to do this alone. Not only that, but you really need to see a doctor. A girl at your age could have increased pregnancy risks, that when properly attended to, can be avoided.

[PrettyLady]

Great answer, daehnolem. Jessie, I know that you don't want your mother to freak out, but understand that your mom probably will. Tell your mother that your pregnant, and give her a chance to absorb the news and then talk with her calmly. Tell her that your sorry that things turned out this way, and that you never meant to get pregnant. Since you are underage, she will help you make decisions in the best interest of your baby. Don't worry about the medical bills, I'm sure your mother will find a way to take care of it. Please don't be afraid to tell her, you will feel better that you did. Good luck

[Fr_Chuck]

Ok, first this is a problem that will not go away if you ignore it.

You were acting as if you were grown up, so now you have to be grown up and face the result of an action you did.

First since you are 14 you need to have your mom ( or parents) involved in what is happening, since in the long run they will be paying the bill for what ever is decided.

And of course if you are, you will need to be sure that you have proper treatment and care. So seeing the doctor early is a must.

So just tell her, yep, there will be yelling, and name calling most likely but your life and her life is about to change forever because of this.

[daehnolem]

I also wanted to mention that even though we might sound like we're lecturing you a little, it's only because we care. I hope to hear from you after you've told your mother, and please feel free to come here for advice if she gets angry. My sister in law is going through the same thing right now. She's a few years older than you are, but she has had the same difficulties and help that you will have in the near future. She's actually due to give birth any day now. After the initial shock, everyone has accepted and supported her, and we will continue to do so once the baby is born. The important thing to remember is that what's done is done, and it can't be changed. You have to focus on the things you can control. You can do this, but you can't do it alone, physically or especially emotionally. Your mom can be your best friend. Make sure you get back to us, okay? I'm actually going to college right now to get a teaching degree so I can work with people your age, so I'm really interested in your well-being. It's hard to be a teenager on top of everything else life throws in the mix.

[Jnet29]

Hi I'm Jnet29, I was 15 teen when I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I was sexually active at 12 1/2 years old what got me in trouble was the people I hung around. That was at 12 1/2, at 15 I was raped and got pregnant with my son. I was scared to because I didn't want my mother to find out because she would always say if we got pregnant she would put us out. Well she was in jail already when she found out I was having a baby I was living with my oldest sister at that time. My mother was not there for me when all this happened to me, you have someone with you that loves you no matter what happens to you I'm pretty sure she loves you and what to be there for you at your time of need a mother's love is unconditional and it always will be please don't assume until you know for sure what's going to happen. And if she do get up set understand it's because you are so young and having a child is a big responceabilty but don't worry your mother will help your and train you how to be the best mother you can be. My heart really goes out to you be brave and give your mother a chance to be your mother and not the bad guy. Please if you don't mind keep me posted on what happened. p.s. sorry it's so long : ) net

[Chery]

OK Jessie, it's been a while, and I'm sure that the secret is out. Please let us know what happened as we are concerned about you and would like to know what's going on.

Still wishing you all the best, Chery

[schoolnutty]

This is probably not helpful but you should not have done this in the first place. Never let your hormones get the best of you jessie

[J_9]

4 year old thread closed. Please check dates prior to responding.