[eshapaul]

My husband can orgasm when we have sex, but if I give him oral sex or he masturbates, or I do it for him, he can't have an orgasm. Why is this. A lot of other guys that I've read about seem to be able to do this with ease. I asked him was I doing a good job, or if he felt uncomfortable doing that in front of me and he said no. I asked him did it hurt or was he in pain, he said no. Is this common for a guy to not be able to have an orgasm by masturbation? The reason I ask is because it's a turn on for me and I wish he would do it for me. Please help. Thanks. Also any techniques for making it feel better for him would help.

[DrJ]

Can he orgasm even when he masterbates alone? If not, that seems a little odd...

If so, I would assume that, since he has no problem orgasming during sex either, that it is a mental issue (which it usually is). Its usually a comfort zone or anxiety. If he is not used to oral sex or masturbation with a partner, he may be nervous, anxious or it simply isn't comfortable for him.

Its not always a matter of whether you are doing it right... it may feel great to him. But for him to actually get to that level may require something else. The anxiety that comes with the expentance to perform can be intesnse... this is the root cause for many mens impotance or failure to orgasm.

How long have you two been trying this? I would suspect that he may eventually get used to it.

[eshapaul]

He seems to get closer to orgasm by himself. I still don't think he can. I also agree and think that it's all mental, even if he doesn't feel like it is. We've been trying this even before we got married (4 years). Also this is something I think that is relatively new to him. I don't think he's tried it with anyone else.

[fredg]

Hi,
When your husband said "no, it doesn't bother me", when you try to masturbate him, he really is in "denial" to the truth. It does bother him.
It might take some time for him to be comfortable with you doing it, and please don't make a big issue out of it for him.
Just try, sometimes, and eventually, he will be OK with it.
Don't keep trying every time you have sex. It might only make it worse, with him thinking this "has" to be done.
Try it again, after you have sex for maybe 2 or 3 times.
I do wish you and he the best of luck, and hang in there.

[nero2]

I think he is too nervous. Try to talk to him more and ask him whether u are doing the right thing to make him feel good. That what I hear from a expert for a radio station some times ago. I hope my post will help u a bit.