[Becca1025]

My family and I were at Olive Garden last week and I was carrying my two month old in his fairly heavy carseat carrier thing. The wait was going to be 40 minutes and as always the place was packed. There was nowhere to sit. There were a bunch of old people standing and not one person was giving up their seat to any women with a baby or any old people. So we're standing there for about 10 minutes and this guy gets up off his chair and carries it to where we were standing and he puts my baby's carrier on it for me and said "you need this more then I do." I was just so shocked! The entire time I was pregnant not one person would ever give their seat up for me. It pisses me off especially when I was in the third trimester and was huge, we would be in a lobby or waiting area that was full and no one would give their seat up for a pregnant women! I used to stand in the middle of the room where all these parents would not make their children get up from their seat to give up for an old person or a pregnant women. I used to say very loudly "What? Nobody has manners anymore to give up their seat for a pregnant woman?!?!" and those people would just laugh or act like the didn't hear me. Maybe my parents brought me up old fashioned, but I have always given up my seat for someone with a baby, an elderly person, or a pregnant women. But yet, nobody ever did that for me, so imagine my shock when someone did! I was so glad at least one person had the decency! Just thought I'd share.

[s_cianci]

Yes, I'd say you were brought up old fashioned. That's not to suggest that that's not a good thing but you pregnant women, women in general, elderly, etc. have all been victimized by this "politically correct" mentality that we've had shoved down our throats. Everybody and everything has to be equal. Something like giving up one's seat to a woman, even a pregnant one or an old or disabled person is unheard of and considered unfair. As it is, I think that businesses ought to run their establishments a little more efficiently so that nobody has to stand and wait for 40 minutes,

[this8384]

Right on... people are inconsiderate morons these days.

P.S. Your baby is beautiful :)

[peggyhill]

Well, it's nice of that guy at Olive Garden to offer his chair to you! I agree that people should be more considerate of others. I work in retail, and yesterday, a man on crutches came in, and when he left, although the store was full of customers, no one offered to open the door for him when he had trouble. The door is kind of hard to push open anyway, let alone with crutches and shopping bags. I ran over and held it open for him and it only took about 10 seconds. I was shocked when another customer who was waiting yelled at me and told me I was rude for not ringing him up first. He only waited for 10 seconds literally! I told him I just wanted to help the poor man and he said "Who cares?" What really got me was that there were at least 10 people right by the door and no one would help.

I really wish people would be more polite too!

[nicki143]

I remember a reporter going on the Tube a few years back in London and was heavily pregnant and saying how the train was packed and nobody would give up there seat.

I also remember going on public transport when my yougest was about 3 months old and being stood up and thrown all over holding him in one arm and a pram in the other as I got off the bus I turned around and said to everyone thank you.

People should not have to give up there eats for somebody else but it is common curtisy I always give up mine.
But this day and age people are more intrested in themselves than others

[trying4babykirk]

Old fashion or not! That's just plain rude to not to be willing to help a women and her child, pregnant woman or elderly. And I think that s_cianci is just having a bad day. I hope you experience this courtsey again! Have a nice day!

[automansgirl]

I agree that the world is full is selfish people. Even living in the south where people are supposedly kinder, when I was pregnant I was often times the one giving up my seat for someone older or disabled, and even other pregnant women. It gripes me when I'm in a store with my son in his stroller, and so many other women who obviously know how inconsiderate other people are now days, are just as rude if not more so than everyone else! I can't tell you how many times my son's stroller has almost been run into by a careless mother, or how many times someone will just stride right into your way and stand there as if you don't even exist. I have to say that when I go out now days I start as my typical, generous self, and by the end of my trip I become brutal and ruthless to those with no manners. My husband often calls the trip short because I become so aggrevated by the fact that no one gives a thought to anyone other than themselves. It is almost a garuntee that I will give a sarcastic "Thank you, or Excuse me!" along with a very nasty look when I go out of the house. Maybe that is why I stay home all the time! We as parents need to do a better job teaching our children how to have good manners and respect, rather than teaching them that the world revolves around them.

[HistorianChick]

Funny, I was in a restaurant with my Mother on Saturday and she said the same thing... we really have lost a lot of courtesy. Sad commentary on culture.

[ScottGem]

Comments on this post

Becca1025 disagrees: Are you serious? Giving up your seat for a pregnant women, elderly people, disabled people is considered unfair? It has nothing to do with being politically correct, but having common deceny.

First, may I call your attention to the guidelines for using the comments feature found here:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/feedba...ure-24951.html

S_c is partially correct. The woman's equality movement has put a damper on the chivalrous courtesy of prior generations.

[s_cianci]

Becca1025 disagrees: Are you serious? Giving up your seat for a pregnant women, elderly people, disabled people is considered unfair? It has nothing to do with being politically correct, but having common deceny.

There are those who would consider it so, as Scott pointed out in his above post. Now I'm not saying that I personally agree with that or that that's how it ought to be, I was just merely trying to shed some light on why things had gotten to the point you described in your initial post.

[s_cianci]

And I think that s_cianci is just having a bad day

No, I'm not having a bad day at all. I think my initial response was misconstrued, and not necessarily due to the fault of those who read it, as reflecting my own opinion. But it really wasn't, because the things I said weren't my opinion, at least not regarding how things should be, or why people should or shouldn't display common courtesy. I apologize if that point wasn't clear in my first response. I was simply trying to suggest possible reasons for the lack of common courtesy in today's world, which was this essence of this thread. I don't personally believe that it's politically incorrect for a man to offer a seat to a pregnant (or even non-pregnant) woman or to an elderly person, etc. But we as a whole, as a society have been conditioned to think that way. And while I opened my initial response with "Yes, I'd say you were brought up old fashioned", I didn't mean that in any kind of sarcastic or negative sense. I just meant to affirm that things aren't that way anymore. Actually I wish they could be but I'm not sure that'll ever happen.

[Becca1025]

Well I do not think it has anything to do with dealing with politics and women's equality movement, especially when I did not just say people should give up their seats for women only, but I meant both sexes and I had said to give up their seat for pregnant women, women with babies (even men for that matter), disabled people, and elderly people. I think people are just selfish. They think nothing of the women's equality, but just thinking of themselves. Sure maybe there is that occasional few that actually do think "well women are equal so I have no intentions of giving up my seat. She can stand like the men do," but what about those elderly and disabled people of both genders?

[NowWhat]

I think as a whole, common courtesy is out the window anymore. It saddens me a lot. Maybe, just maybe, if we learned to be kind to each other - things would change in this world. I would imagine that most people don't notice pregnant women or older people anymore. We are so self involved that the rest of the world doesn't seem to enter our minds.

For me personally, (as a woman) I do give up my seat. When I was pregnant - that courtesy was extended to me on occasion. I try to follow the rule of "treat others the way you want to be treated". It hasn't failed me yet.

[Wondergirl]

I had hurt my knee and was in a wheelchair for a couple of months last year. People knocked themselves out to open doors for me, to ask me if I needed help, to help me reach things--men as well as women did this, and even teenagers. Parents urged their children to open doors for me and to clear paths for me if stuff was in the way. Kids would ask me questions about the chair, so I briefly explained what had happened. The library I work at was built according to ADA guidelines, but I sure found out first-hand that handicap access, there and at other places, is a joke. Thank goodness for kind people and creative solutions!

[cerisa]

( Opinions expressed here are responsibility of a sixty year old woman. I believe I have learned something by now, and hopefully, still learning).
There are strong feelings riled by this question. As a general rule, many younger people, the 'me' generation, seem to guard their perceived 'rights' beyond any regard for others. Schools taught these children that their opinions counted as much as anyone else's, regardless of accomplishment, education, or status. Feeling good about ones self was treated as more important than actual understanding or personal responsiblility. A 'no fault' lifestyle.
That is the generation with small children now. Maybe it is also the fact that most Moms have to work, extended family does not have as strong an influence as was common before.
Whatever the cause it is a sad loss to our culture.
Lately I notice children wrecking merchandise in larger stores, Walmart, for instance, shrieking, running, and no adult in sight. Shopping is the child's entertainment.
I raised four children who were welcomed in restaurants and shops. They had their hands in their back pockets while in a store (when small) so as to remember not to touch anything. More than once our restaurant check was picked up by a stranger, impressed too see, and not hear, quiet, cheerful children.
My husband always opens doors for me, and pulls out my seat. I accept that as a love token. Not because I am helpless. I am a strong woman.
I open doors for people too, as a courtesy. Holding the door for people coming in behind you is the norm in the community where I live.
As for restaurant waits, I wish more people would speak up. Seats should be relinquished by children and teens to any older people, just as a courtesy. My Dad would ask us if we had a backbone, I wonder where the backbones went?