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    Scleros's Avatar
    Scleros Posts: 2,165, Reputation: 262
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    #1

    Mar 2, 2008, 11:21 PM
    How to handle chance encounter with ex?
    Background:
    Twelve years ago, I ended a non-physical ten year relationship with a high school friend due to the large discrepancy between my feelings for her and her feelings for me which I considered had become an unhealthy situation for me. I ended it in a manner that at the time I felt was most appropriate given the overall depth of our relationship, in-person verbally expressed feelings, and distance between where we each were living at the time: I wrote a letter, albeit somewhat sappy. The result of the letter was that she changed her phone number. I couldn't believe it, so much so that I called her mom and one of her friends to confirm that she was OK.

    Six months or so later I happened to run into her, almost literally, in an aisle in Walmart in _my_ town while walking out of a cross aisle. Our eyes met, and given the glare I was receiving, I didn't know what to do. My feet kept walking, while at the same time feeling like my soul was being ripped out. How could she hate me so much? I didn't want to exacerbate the situation further, so I left the store.

    Questions:
    What would the rest of you have done? What do you do when you run into ex's where the parting wasn't amicable; do you say "Hi", flee, ignore them, stare at them until they speak or move?
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #2

    Mar 2, 2008, 11:41 PM
    Well, my ex and I go to the same school... but with 20,000 students, it's a bit hard to run into her, but it does happen.

    I'm civil... I smile, say HI, then keep on walking. No need to carry a conversation. Just acknowledge their existence in this world... then keep on walking.
    SJB1701E's Avatar
    SJB1701E Posts: 164, Reputation: 30
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    #3

    Mar 2, 2008, 11:45 PM
    I personally would be friendly, though not overly so. If they want to hate and be rude to you, that's their problem. You, though you are hurt, shouldn't let it get under your skin. Cry in the car if you have to. But I would really act like you are doing great, like you don't have a care in the world, and just be friendly. Not to sound corny, but the Golden Rule is true. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you are friendly and just act "cool" and don't show her that she can still get to you, then you are doing nothing wrong. If she wants to be hateful after that, let her. ITS NOT YOUR PROBLEM. And the other thing is, if you act positive, and act like you are OK, and act like you are doing good, and act like you believe in yourself, then eventually you will be positive, and you will be OK, and you will be doing good, and you will believe in yourself. Acting positive will eventually become being positive. So have you a good cry and get back out into the world and don't be afraid of running into those ex's. The best thing you can do is just be your positive self and enjoy life. I realise this was a long time ago, but really, this applies to anyone, with any ex.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #4

    Mar 2, 2008, 11:49 PM
    If you want, the minute they see you, just break out a dance. In the middle of the street. Start singing and just go west side story on that mess.

    ... they'll never see it coming.
    Scleros's Avatar
    Scleros Posts: 2,165, Reputation: 262
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    #5

    Mar 3, 2008, 12:00 AM
    Can someone "accidently" run into you multiple times and then get a restraining order on you?
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #6

    Mar 3, 2008, 12:01 AM
    ... what..!

    Obviously... there's WAY more to this story.
    jeffatl's Avatar
    jeffatl Posts: 489, Reputation: 83
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    #7

    Mar 3, 2008, 12:01 AM
    "while at the same time feeling like my soul was being ripped out" welcomne to the run in with your ex. I seriously think this might be one of the worst feelings EVER... makes me sick. The thing is, she has made it clear that she wants no contact with you, as mean or hurtfull as that sounds... its true. It doesn't look like you two had much of a conversation when you saw her, and i9t doesn't sound like this is a very healthy situation for you eaither.

    I say let this whole thing with your EX go, she changed her number... maybe not because of you, but she sure didn't give you her new number. Let her go. It always brings back crazy feelings when you see an EX, don't confuse that with love though.

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