[wnk_1001]

My husband and I sold our house and now we rent a 1 bedroom apartment in a beautiful area. I was really beginning to like it here. One day while in the common area, one of our neighbors introduced herself. Before I knew it she was knocking on our door every day. Either asking me if she could borrow some sugar, asking if she could use the phone (her cell phone wasn’t working), did I have a cigarette, it was always something. She lives directly below us and can hear us walking around. Just minutes after my feet hit the floor in the morning she is knocking on our door. I gave her my telephone number, and a hint to call before coming over, (a big pet peeve of mine), however, now all she does is call and call. The last time I talked with her she told me about her Methadone and heroin use, and that she acquired Hepatitis C through dirty needles. She said she also takes Demerol, and Xanax and that she could not own a gun because she's a felon. I have never seen so many red flags go up in all my life! I ran her name through the county database and found that she did in fact have a criminal record. She had 2 or 3 breaking and entering, 2 larceny, a wrongful discharge of a firearm, assault and battery, distribution of a #4 controlled substance, (whatever that is), along with marijuana, and probation violation. She has traffic coming and going at her place at all hours of the day and night. The problem is she is not even discreet about it. They pull up, beep their horn and she runs outside. She said SWAT came in last year and broke up a meth lab downstairs. WHAT? She says they still come by and monitor this building. If that is true why aren't they doing anything about her? And to think, I actually did my homework before moving in here. Guess I left out a few things?? She said what a nice place my husband and I have, and I for one would like to keep it that way. My husband has a really good job, and we have worked really hard for what we have. I don't want her putting us in harm's way. Considering we live so close, and are probably already in harms way, how do I politely tell her to back off? My husband works 90% of the time, so I am usually the one dealing with her. However I have not spoken a word to her in 4 days, ever since I found out. I would just like to be free to come and go from my apartment again, without having to move to do so. Any advice?

[N0help4u]

It often takes years of somebody doing drugs and drug traffic before they will do anything.
Often they know the jail is a revolving door where they will just be back out in a matter of hours and they want to get them on something that will stick (with a long sentence)
Sometimes they get out because they narc on others.
You should discuss this with your landlord and tell him that as soon as your lease is up you plan to move if she is still there. Maybe he can find grounds to evict her but he has to be made aware of the problem.
He needs to screen people better too. He is the landlord and it took you to find out her background.
I can't imagine what is up that she hasn't bothered you in 4 days that is unusual.
You need to tell her no even if you say your "husband says" or she will be bothering you beyond belief.
Don't let her in your house either.
What is the rest of the neighborhood like?
If it is a rather quiet neighborhood maybe you can team up with them to try and get something done.

[1234AAA]

Ugh! You poor thing. Stay away from her.

[wnk_1001]

When I say that I have not spoken with her in 4 days it is not because she isn't calling, it is because I am intentionally avoiding her. She has phoned 5 times already today, and I refuse to answer. I just know that it is going to become increasingly more difficult to avoid her. The rest of the neighborhood seems OK, but I am really not sure at this point. I thought she was OK...

[N0help4u]

Yeah.
As soon as I read that you gave her your # I was like oops big mistake!
Also if her phone ever gets shut off she may resort to giving out your #
I think you are still allowed one free # change if you are being harassed but you shouldn't have to go through all that trouble.
Hopefully it won't get to that stage.

It is going to be hard if not next to impossible to avoid her.
I have much of the same problems as you, You have to tell them I ran out of sugar,
I don't have any mustard, my husband took the cigarettes to work, I don't keep money on me-my husband has the cards and checks, etc...
Whatever it takes.

[Fr_Chuck]

Perhaps just tell her this relastionship ( friends) is not working out, and that you would prefer her not to call. Just tell her what you have told us, you don't want her to bother you any longer.

[N0help4u]

Perhaps just tell her this relastionship ( friends) is not working out, and that you would prefer her not to call. Just tell her what you have told us, you don't want her to bother you any longer.

:D That may or may not work
With people like this they don't take no as an answer and they keep coming back like a bad...
This one girl use to stick her foot in my door when I told her "I can't take you to the store"
Or "I am doing laundry for the rest of the evening so I can't let you do a load"
She would say is that a yes or a no and wouldn't let up. Then come back every 20 minutes asking if I could now even though I said I can't for the rest of the night.

Other neighbors would see me leaving to go somewhere and jump in my car and insist I take them in the opposite direction and bring them back before I went where I had to go.
I had to get really creative with the excuses and getting them aggravated enough with me that they decided not to want to bother with me.

[wnk_1001]

You are so right! I can't believe you said change my #. I have been thinking about that all day. Doesn't seem like much trouble to me at all; just one phone call away. You have wonderful insight... as usual. Thanks for being so helpful.

By the way... sorry you are going through the same thing.

[N0help4u]

The problem is that you have to give it out to all your friends, relatives, doctors, businesses that need to contact you, etc...

I don't have much trouble any more.

I just sit back and watch what people get away with others and with the law
And nothing surprises me anymore cause I have seen it all,

How does a guy that all in one month
Wrote bad checks for pizza, Wal Mart and 3 vehicles
At least 2 DUI's
Smacked his son getting Children's protective service involved
PFA (not allowed around son)
Is now on house arrest
Sits in house getting high and drunk with son
Police know!
Has no water or gas
Broken windows
Crazy girlfriend
Police constantly called

get away with it?

[wnk_1001]

WOW. That is a good question...

[oneguyinohio]

I sure couldn't take that from people. I'd have to move. You don't seem to want to move, but it might be rough sticking it out until she is gone. She already knows that you have a nice place, so I hope you have good renters insurance,(or an alarm system) because of her record, she may remember your place when she is in need of something to exchange for cash?

Good luck to you, and sorry that you have to deal with people like that... unfortuneately there are too many of them out there.

[wnk_1001]

Perhaps just tell her this relastionship ( friends) is not working out, and that you would prefer her not to call. Just tell her what you have told us, you don't want her to bother you any longer.

I agree, I should just tell her. But what if she asks the reason? How do I not let on what I know? I have a feeling it will be written all over my face.

[Fr_Chuck]

I agree, I should just tell her. But what if she asks the reason? How do I not let on what I know? I have a feeling it will be written all over my face.

What ever feels right to you, "I just don't like you" "I don't associate with drug users" "you are just a real pain and bother me too much"
I have often found just being honest makes it easier.

[N0help4u]

She told you enough on her own. You don't have to let on you know 'the rest of the story'
Basically tell her that you are a person that lives a quiet lifestyle and stick to yourself and you can't deal with disruptions and drama through the day. Even make yourself out to be like you have some type of OCD problems and need totally predictable structure.

[wnk_1001]

I sure couldn't take that from people. I'd have to move. You don't seem to want to move, but it might be rough sticking it out til she is gone. She already knows that you have a nice place, so I hope you have good renters insurance,(or an alarm system) because of her record, she may remember your place when she is in need of something to exchange for cash?

Good luck to you, and sorry that you have to deal with people like that... unfortuneately there are too many of them out there.

You're right, I don't want to move, I just moved in, I love this area, I have wanted to live out here all my life. And YES, the insurance premiums are current, and actually, anything worth of value has already been moved, or never came here to begin with. There's nothing left here except for the big stuff, and the little things that don't mean so much to us. Still, I can't imagine any of my things getting hocked for dope money. The thought actually makes me sick.

[N0help4u]

You'd be surprised at what they will take.
VCR tapes, DVD players,
watch your back even if you think it is not of any value.
I have known people that will steal their own grandma's very much needed meds.

[wnk_1001]

She told you enough on her own. You don't have to let on you know 'the rest of the story'
Basically tell her that you are a person that lives a quiet lifestyle and stick to yourself and you can't deal with disruptions and drama through the day. Even make yourself out to be like you have some type of OCD problems and need totally predictable structure.

This sounds great you guys! Thank you for your suggestions and for lending an ear. You have really given me something to work with. Now I just have to DO IT. Thanks.

[wnk_1001]

You'd be surprised at what they will take.
VCR tapes, DVD players,
watch your back even if you think it is not of any value.
I have known people that will steal their own grandma's very much needed meds.

We must know some of the same people...