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Commdude · Jan 28, 2006, 05:40 PM

Long story short. Dated a women I'll name "Jane" several times. On the last date, she said she had a husband who was in jail. The fact that she was married was enough to end the relationship. Since then I have married a longtime sweetheart. A month and a half after we split up, "Jane" told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. Timing seemed right, and I iaccepted the fact that it could be and offered the support I felt I was responsble for. She did not want any help, whatsoever, and discussed the possibility of abortion. She went on to say that if she did have it, she did not want my help, and wanted to end all contact with me. She then ended all contact with me, and I had no way of contacting her. Fast forward to now around a year and a half later. She contacted me recently via Yahoo messenger. At first, she said the baby was "dead", and the had the abortion. Further inconsistencies during the conversation led he to say that it was indeed mine, and that it was born on a date which makes in not unreasaable for me to think I am the father. She sent me a picture as well. However, she says her husband knows about, (apparently he is out of jail now.) but does not want me to have anything to do with it, and that he would be upset if I were to spend time with it. (I am a solid person, own a business, have no felonies, and am pretty straight up.).

Now the question is... if it is mine, then what can I do to prove it, and if so, since she is married, what are my recources as far as visitation, etc. The context of the conversation definitely leads me to believe that I could be the father.

CaptainForest · Jan 28, 2006, 06:18 PM

First, hire a lawyer.

Then you will go to the court and DNA testing will be ordered.

If the test proves you are the father, you will have equal rights, if not more (based on the situation you described).

So what if she is married. Think of her being single. It's the same affect.

The question here is what do you go for…50/50 Custody, Full Custody, do you want shared physical custody?

Or do you just want to visit with this child from time to time?

Fr_Chuck · Jan 28, 2006, 06:47 PM

First and before you pay her a penny or do any dad thing, get a DNA test to prove you are the father, and to prove there really is a baby. I could find and send you a 100 baby pictures off the web.

Of course you will have to sue for part custody or visitation rights pending proving the DNA tests. Her married status has nothing to do with it.

talaniman · Jan 28, 2006, 08:35 PM

Have you discussed this with your wife?If not please do and see what she thinks.Without a DNA test you have no obligations whatsoever and in light of this woman's husband not wanting you in his life is it possible you stepping forward could destroy this family or complicate matters to the detriment of the child?You have a lot of issues to deal with and careful thought is warranted.What confuses me most is her saying that she wants nothing from you so why is she contacting you in the first place?Something smells here.:cool: :eek:

Commdude · Jan 29, 2006, 08:02 AM

Thanks you all for the responses. As for third one, my wife is of the opinion that, based on this woman's conversations with me, if she is that unstable, then it might be better if we fight for custody. If it is indeed my flesh and blood, then better to deal with it now, than later. Also, the child does have a right to know its natural father, in my opinion. This, of course, after going for a dna test.

Thanks again for all of the advise.