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Soulmate84 · Feb 28, 2008, 07:23 AM

Ok I know this is wrong, I think I kind of need someone to tell me it's wrong! Here it goes.
I was 16 and dated my first love, we always said we were 'soulmates' we broke up as young do, don't know why really something to do with different schools. Anyway, I had moved away and 2 years later feel in love with another man. I married him after 3 months of knowing him. I kind of never go over my first love though. Some how he had found out that I got married. We seen each other in a store, we made eye contact and then moved on (we were both with our others). Well that was like 19 years ago. We made contact about 5 years ago talked on the phone, but his girlfriend at the time got upset and we stopped talking at the time (Which was OK because we didn't want to hurt our relationships) So just the other day we seen each other again. He is in a different relationship and I am still married. So we talked. We have been talking just as friends on the phone for the past 2 weeks. But I feel guilty because I feel like I am letting my family and husband down but "day dreaming" about him. I have finally decided that I need to break the conversations between us again for my sanities sake. I don't want to hurt anyone. I really don't know what I want. I am married with three great children, have a great home and my own business with my husband. I know I would lose a lot if I let my temptions take over. Please help me.. Am I doing the right thing?

JL FANATIC · Feb 28, 2008, 08:01 AM

Im 27, I WAS engaged and also have a daughter with my soulmate but I took that step that you are afraid to take. (she calls me a risk taker) I am now living with my mom and I cry every night because I miss her and the family atmosphere so much. You have something that I always wanted and still going to try and find and that is a family. Love your family. Don't miss out on the I LOVE YOU'S. Look your husband in the eyes, give him a hug and tell him how much you miss him. PRIDE SUCKS!! Hope this helps

talaniman · Mar 1, 2008, 03:11 PM

The only right thing you can do, is stop the contact, and remove yourself from this situation, by leaving the lost love alone. Go back, and love your family.

Builttolast · Feb 13, 2009, 11:23 PM

In 1983, I nearly took my life because of my first love lost. I was only 17. It took me years to get over him. The only way to get over him was to completely MOVE away... avoid all contact. I got married to an awesome man I loved, had three kids and was really, really happy. We've been married 20 years - Oddly enough... just recently the internet brought my first love back in to my life. I can honestly say, 20 plus years later... its like it was just yesterday. I am doing everything I can to just keep at a distance, and try to just be friends, but its obvious to me that I still have (and he also) unresolved issues. So... once again, I got to step away for the good of my heart. I hope this helps. Just walk away.

Builttolast · Feb 13, 2009, 11:27 PM

p.s... realise its just the fantasy of what "might have been" drawing you in. The reality is you have an amazing family, someone who loves you (I am saying this to you, as I am saying to to myself). I venture to guess this person will NEVER find someone like you, or have what you have with your family NOW. Cherish that.