[make_me_smile]

Ok, so I am 19, soon-to-be 20. I have been with my boyfriend for three years, and love him very much. We have been through a lot, and are currently going through a rough patch, but I feel as though he is the one for me, and I would love nothing more than to have his child. He would be an amazing father, and I feel as though I am ready to be a mother, I want to train to teach children at uni, but my heart wants this so much more, and I try to distract myself with other things, but this is what I want, yet I feel as though it is something I am unable to have, and it breaks my heart. I'm scared something is wrong with me. I have always been very irregular, which in the past has provoked pregnancy thoughts, but unfortunately were proven negative! So it's the 27th of Feb 2008, and the last period I got was beginning of Dec 2007. But it lasted about 3 days, 2 of which were very light, which is unusual for me as they normally last about 5 days and are not that light. At christmas I did take a test as I was worried this was spotting, but came out negative :( Previously to that I had my period on the 25th of June 2007, so I had a huge gap with no period, which is happening again now, as I have not had a period since beginning of December, and this is quite normal for me, but I don't know if its why I am having problems! Ever since October 07 I have been having unprotected sex with my parter, and nothing... :'( its really breaking my heart, yes I cannot be 100% sure I am not pregnant right now! But I don't think I am, and to be honest, am sick of wasting my money on pregnancy tests :( I have no syptoms, so liklihood is that I am not... I am going to visit the docter in the near future, but cannot be as open as on here, as I am worried she will judge me because of my age etc. so I really need some advice, please help me, I am scared I won't be blessed with a beautiful baby boy or girl, and it hurts me so much when I keep hearing of other people becoming pregnant, I don't obsess about it, and am relaxed, but recently its really started to get me down! PLEASE HELP what's wrong :( xxooxoxoxoox :mad:

[rockerchick26]

Ok so first off I want to say that I am not judging you because of your age... I would say this to anyone who posted this question without even knowing your age.

I know you said that you have been with your boyfriend for a long time (3 years). It kind of concerns me that you felt the need to mention that you are going through a "rough patch." Just PLEASE make sure you aren't trying to have a baby for the wrong reasons (like to keep him around.) I know that I don't know your whole situation, so I hope you don't take that the wrong way.

Also, I think you need to be open with your doctor about what's going on. If you are worried that they will judge you now, what are you going to do if you actually get pregnant? Since you are over 18, and legally an adult, I doubt any physican would judge you. The only person who can really answer this question is your gyno. If you aren't mature enough to talk to your doctor about this, then you aren't mature enough to have a baby.

I realize that this may have come across as harsh, so I apologize in advance if it came off as nasty...

[automansgirl]

You should definitely be completely open and honest with your ob/gyn. She is not there to judge you, but to help you in every way possible with your reproductive health. I would highly suggest having some testing done. Having irregular periods as infrequent as yours seem to be could mean a problem. I don't want to worry you, but it could be something as simple as some hormone treatment. Also, please know that it takes the average healthy couple 6-12 months or longer to get pregnant. Your age doesn't necessarily mean that you aren't ready for a baby, but just make sure that your relationship is ready. Children are difficult and if you don't have a rock solid relationship with open and honest communication, a child could bring out some really big issues. Anyway, schedule that appt and good luck. Try to think positively!

[KalFour]

What's your diet like? And your weight? If you're underweight or have a deficiency, your menstrual cycle can be altered or even stop entirely. There could be a range of reasons, but you'd need blood tests to check your functions and to talk with a gynecologist to find out about them.

Also, does your boyfriend know you want to get pregnant? It's very important to be honest with him about this, as it will effect his life too.

And I wouldn't worry about what your doctor thinks. Even if s/he judges you, what does it matter? If you can't face disapproval from your doctor, what are you going to do when you have to face your friends and family?

If you want to be a teacher, maybe it would be best to wait until you've got the degree before you decide to have kids. Going through university with a passel of critters in tow won't be easy. Even one child will take control of your life and limit your options. If you want to be able to work, best get the qualifications while it's still easy. Just a thought.

Having a kid is a big deal. It's not your age (same as me) so much as your circumstances that make me think you might be rushing this. You have to be sure.

All the best,

Kal

[make_me_smile]

I am a healthy wieght, regularly go to the gym and have a good diet, always have really, but I have always had this problem, automansgirl you have worried me! :( I don't understand why when I spoke to my docter last year about it she didn't even act as though there was a problem, is it rare to have such irregular periods? The only reason I say I feel unable to be open with my docter is because they make me nervous at the best of times! Lol, its always a problem I've had being that open when I'm face2face with a stranger, my friends and family would support and love me, and money wise I am able to afford an offer a child a good life, especially as there are children these days at 14 having babies! I just feel as though this is right, for me. No he doesn't know I am trying... BUT as we have been having unprotected sex for 5months... and still nothing, to be honest I don't see the harm anymore, especially as I know it would make him happy as we have spoken about it before... thank you for your advice! Anymore is welcomed, I'm just really angry that my body is like this! Xxooxxoxxox

[rockerchick26]

You MUST tell you boyfriend that you are trying! Guys don't necessarily link unprotected sex and intentionally trying to get pregnant together. For the most part they are just thinking that it feels a lot better without a condom and not about babies! Be up front with him about it, because if you do get pregnant it will change both of your lives forever.

[Alty]

You have allot of years ahead of you to have a baby, first you have to think about yourself.

Go to your OB/GYN and find out what, if anything, is going on.
Go to couples counselling with your boyfriend. If things aren't going great right now then having a baby will put an end to everything. Babies can tear up a couple that are getting along great, a baby will destroy a relationship that isn't working, and, it won't keep him around.
Follow you dream of becoming a teacher, kids will wait, you're still so young.

Take care, I hope you make the right decision and that everything works out okay.

[make_me_smile]

I do understand. But I was raised without a father, I kind of believe that having both parents there all the time is a bonus, not a neccesity. I no I wouldn't be alone though, I just really want this to happen for me, and I'm scared there's something wrong with me, am going to the docters tomo afternoon, so that will hopefully shed some light on the situation, I'm worried though :( its not fair! Has anyone ever been in this situation, with irregular periods and pregnancy issues? X

[Alty]

My mother was lucky if she had a period once a year. The irregularity of her periods wasn't her issue when it came to getting pregnant. Her appendix ruptured when she was 18 and it screwed up her fallopian tubes. She had to go in for surgery once a month so that they could (not the medical term) blow air into her fallopian tubes so that she could release an egg. My parents tried for 8 years before they finally had me. Things are different now, an irregular period isn't necessarily going to prevent you from having a child, not unless there is another underlying problem. You still have many years left to have a child, stop being in such a hurry.

Having a child because you want to, especially when you are young and not necessarily emotionally or financially ready, is a very selfish thing to do. This hypothetical child deserves to have two parents in his life that not only love him/her but each other as well. You have a choice here, don't make the wrong one.

Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with being a single parent if you have no choice, but why would you willingly choose this for your hypothetical child. Wait a while, there's no hurry.

[pretty in blue]

My daughter too had irregular periods a few years ago and it was because her skin specialist put her on acne medication which required her to take a very high dose pill. Her gyno said that was more than likely the cause but it took some time for everything to go back to normal after stoping the medication. Have you previously taken the pill or any other medication which may be the cause? Many of my girlfriends have had irregular cycles and have been able to conceive and had two or three children. Please stop worrying and see a gyno. You are young and if you are healthy and eating well I'm sure you will be OK. Please give a lot of thought about discussing pregnancy with your boyfriend. You may be more mature and ready for a baby than he is and if he truly wants to be a father then his support could take the stress out of trying. Good luck and I wish you all the best.

[KalFour]

My mum said her periods didn't become regular until she'd had her first child. Mine aren't regular... but tend to range between about 21 and about 35 days, rather than being as spaced out as yours sound.
Hope the doctor can shed some light for you.

[make_me_smile]

I've never been on any sort of birth control or tablet that would alter my cycle...

[bojolackey]

Im 19 and 4 1/2 months pregnant , my boyfriend and I dated for three years and never used anything. We thought we couldn't get pregnant. He proposed christmas of 09 and came up to visit me in NJ. We were married this February and I became extremely ill, at the hospital I found out my xmas present was really a baby. Let me say its not the easiest thing in the world to have a baby , you have to think about every little thing , we didn't have enough money and now he is in the Army training with explosives just to take care of us. You should defiantly discuss this with him , don't trap him. And also think about all the things you WILL NOT be able to do now with a baby. Id spend more time together have fun with your lives , and if he wants to be a father then settle down , get married and then have children. Just really think about it first.
Good Luck