[escaping]

My friends had been cutting themslevs and one of them still does. That's when my problem got worse. I'v always had problems with myself mostly emotional but I neva admit it to anyone, I can neva talk to my family or my friends, I feel as though I'm disappionting them. I always feel lower then people. Everybody I know has drive in life and when they won't something they go for it, but I get destracted so easily. I tried to help my friends but I could do nothing useful, just say stupid things, they say I make them laugh which is good but I want to do more than that. I want to be the pillar that holds their problems away. But I cant. I started to get curious about cutting then my friend wrote a blog about cutting and what it can do. After that I became too curious. And I cut my leg. It hurt but I didn't stop. I thort it wood be just a one time thing. Then I did it again for no reason but they were onli scratches so I thort nothing of it. Then I started to cut myself when I got angry, which unfortunately is frequent. Mostly I get angry at myself for being a failer or getting angry at someone else. Every time I express myself to sumone I feel stupid and weak. When I call for help and get it I run. Just tonight I almost shredded my hand because I made mum angry at me. I got the urge to cut myself and I couldn't refuse it. I think I mite have a mental problem or something because I can't control my moods I can go from estactic to wanting cry in the course of one day, its not frequent but in between I feel pesimistic. I think everything sux and there isn't much of a piont. Usually to ignore everything I sleep but I'm having trouble do that. I don't know I need help. I just want people to be proud of me.. I want to be proud of me.. ppl say they are but I know they don't have much of a reason to be.. even now mum is still upset at me.. plez help.

[fredg]

Hi, escaping,
Trying to help your friends from cutting themselves may be useless. They need help from others; like Professional help. If it's a type of "fad", or something similar, there is really nothing you can do to help them.
But, I would be thinking about myself. Thank you for posting a guestion here at this site, and I know will get many answers.
Talking about problems is sometimes (most of the time) the ONLY way to get them out in the open and get help. You have taken the first step by posting your question here.
PLEASE talk with your parents about how you feel, and I am sure they will listen. You have to be proud of yourself first. You have to respect yourself first, then others will respect you.
Please talk with your parents, and even if they suggest you all go talk with some type of Professional or counselor, then please go with them.
Don't let this first step be the last, take the next step. Talk with them... go for it! I do wish you the very best of luck. Remember, only YOU can start making changes in your life and attitudes now; no one can do it for you.

[jeawisenba]

Hello Escaping,
I am a mother of a thirteen yearold daughter who is doing the same things and feeling the same way you are. I don't know how your parents are but as a parent myself I can say I am glad that my daughter came to me with her illness,if you don't feel comfortable with them please talk to a school conselor or a trusted adult. This is not your fault it is a way of dealing with your pain,and being a young adult is hard enough. As for your friends I know it's hard not to try to take care of them, but honey you need to be stingy when it comes to taking care of yourself, because you are really all you have in this world. To make good decions in life you need to be strong for you and learn to love yourself. Have some patience with yourself and try to get some help so you can do something great with what you haved learned in life. Good luck to you. Remember to be strong for YOU!!

[weda_7526]

Dear Confused,
Cutting is a way of stopping the hurt and rage you feel. I used to be a cutter. I would get upset over something in my life aand cut my arms until I saw blood. I did this for about two years. One day I called mental health and they helped me not to cut anymore. I do not think this is a fad at all. Cutting is a mental illness. We cut when we are mad or go into a rage. We are simply out of control aand our anger is softened after we cut. You should go to mental heath :p and talk about it with someone who is trained to handle this.

[wendyCA]

I remember being in sixth grade, in the school. Mr. Woods, the math teacher was lining us in the cafeteria after lunch, to take us back to class room. I was chatting with the person beside me. Next thing I know, he had grabbed my arm and had pulled me out of line and was paddling me, three times. I had a dress on. Was a feminine young girl. It was in front of the entire school, this event. All my peers saw this. I was devastated. Cried in restroom and don't even remember how I got through the afternoon. That day, I went home, got a razor blade and proceeded to cut small slices on my hands. I wanted to die but was afraid of it. I wanted someone to see the pain I was in and this was the only way as I could not put it into words and my parents were too self absorbed to notice what I was going through. Now, nearly 40 years later, I realize that is what the kids are doing. Possibly trying to make the pain they feel become a physical pain rather than an emotional one. And, I have to say, when the blade pierces the skin, the dark thoughts do stop for that moment.

You are a good friend. Just being who you are is enough. I know it is hard but try to remember that you are going to go through stages in your life and that this one is a tremendously difficult one, especially if home environment is filled with turmoil of some sort. Try not to compare yourself with others. The greatest people in history did not show their true colors until well past their 20s. And, though we all want to be liked by everyone usually, it is not often possible. Just like we will not like others we meet, some people will not like us. Try to surround yourself with friends who make you happy, avoid the ones who don't if possible.