[marutia]

My son just got engaged. His Fiancée wants to get married on Caribbean island... always her dream... they have planned a cruise next year and are taking her mother and grandparents. My husband and I cannot get away at that time and cannot afford the cruise. I also do not think it is appropriate to go with son and wife on their honeymoon. We were never even contacted about any plans. My idea is to have a simple wedding at one of the parks or lakes where we live and then they go off on honeymoon cruise alone and have a ceremonial wedding on island during cruise. This way his side of family could attend wedding.I think my son just does not to make waves and says "they are a close family"... Any ideas out there?
marutia

[ChihuahuaMomma]

I think they shouldn't be dissuaded from their "dream wedding" but they should also take their families into consideration. And their wedding finances should include payment of your tickets...
I'm sorry if this was no help

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We have a very similar situation... see "Groom's Parents can't attend wedding". The future daughter-in-law has chosen Dec. 12, 2010 which is the absolute busiest time at our family owned retail store in Canada and she has picked Grenada because her parents have moved from Canada to there. Our son - the groom - manages an area in the store, as does our daughter and a friend of our son so including us that would mean 5 key staff missing to fly down to Grenada - 2 days in airports to go down - 1 day for the wedding and then turn around and head back for another 2 days spent in airports. They have two young children who will be age 1 and not yet 3 next Dec. so the cost for their family and our family to fly down would be well over 10 grand just for the flights. The money is the least of it as we simply cannot all leave that time of the year as we don't not have other staff that would be able to cover all the jobs of 5 of us gone. All their friends are in Canada as well and likely cannot afford the expense of going down to Grenada either as most are either still struggling students or new to the work force. Our second son who is supposed to go down to be best man is writing college exams that ime of year and also cannot afford it. If she were to hold the wedding here on December 12th, we could afford to take just that one day off work (we are open 7 days a week and to 9pm every evening except Sat and Sun) as a few staff could manage without us for just one day, and then just the bride and groom could go down to Grenada to redo their vows "on the beach" with her family and do a honeymoon but we doubt she will change her mind. We are just trying to make sure our son understands that we love him very much and are so sad about missing his wedding and that any other month of the year would have been possible - just not December!! He knows that as he was raised in the business for 21 years and has worked part and full time since he was 15 (will be 26 next year.) I don't have any other suggestion as we are in the same quandry - just to keep telling your son how much you love him. Oh and we are the parents actively involved in this couple's life as they have lived in our city for 5 years while going to university, they have 2 young children, who we adore and look after constantly, and they are into us for huge loans to purchase their first home. The other Grenadian grandparents have never seen their youngest baby and have only seen the little 2 year old twice for a short time, and as far as I know, give them little in the way of either monetary or moral support.