[Sosdog]

I may need guidance.

Ok- I am middle aged. (8/19/1968)
Married, 3 kids, house, regular kind of life I suppose.

The problem is not in my home life though. I am having trouble professionally.

I grew up smart, fast and independent. Never had any 'real' friend type things.

I was cocky, confident (to the point of arrogant) and very good at everything I did. I was constantly bombarded with praise and opportunities.

Of course, I'm older now.

Why is it that now that I am older and not the king of the world can I not find 'anything' that will sustain me? And why can I not see that the 'real' world is not what I think it is?

Why am I unable to understand anyone at all?

Lastly, why am I unable to build lasting friendships?

[fredg]

Hi, Sosdog,
You posted in "psychics", and I am not a psychic, don't pretend to be.
But, would like to add my 2 cents worth to your questions. I am 64 yrs old, married 28 yrs, was a 13 years math teacher, then Mining Engineer, then Customer Care Representative for a cell phone company, now retired, due to family health problems.
At age 38, went back to school to get a Bachelor's in Mining Engineering; complete career change. I have never felt I "new it all", but feel sometimes like I'm an "educated fool" !
It does take awhile to change attitudes. You can do it, if you work hard at it. Having friends is one of the most important things in life. My friends, some of them neighbors, are very important.
When you meet someone, do you talk about yourself? If so, try something new... talk about them. Listen to them. Have the conversation revolve around them. Be interested in them, not trying to have them interested in you.
Before you know it, you will have some friends. I say this because (and I am not trying to criticize you) you used the words "cocky, arrogant". A person with this type of personality is interested mainly in himself, not others. His world revolves around him; no one else.
So, in short, please give it a try. The next time you meet someone or see someone, ask about them. How do you feel today? Are you having a good day today? Be interested in them; then in turn, maybe not that same day, they will become interested in you.
I do wish you the very, very best, and remember: People can change... go for it!!

[Fr_Chuck]

There are many names for this, but in general far too many people today, and I was one of them, but too much importance on their work life and not enough on their home life.

The are basically " what the do" if they lose a job or don't get a promotion their entire world is ready to end for them.

They never make "friends" at work since you are not suppose to really ever trust them, since you may have to use them, or need their help at some point in your career. So you go though life, knowing people but never having any real friends, not being close to anyone.

You are a engiineer, or you are a professor, or you are this or that

As long as you look for your strength in your work you will never be happy, esp in today's economy and esp since employers are not loyal to hard working employees like there were 20 years ago.

You have to find an inner peace. About 15 year ago, I walked away from my position as a coporate VP who was prevoiusly a VP of Engineering.
I was where you were, except I knew that I had not been happy for years.

I lost everything the world says we need, I was living on a small share crop type farm house in south Ga, and I decided no matter how little it paid, I was going to do some fun jobs, not high paying jobs but things I had always wanted to do. And I did. I found out first if you owe any money, you are a slave to that debt and you can not enjoy work or life, since your master ( debt) keeps you in line.

So I lost all of the material things people say are important in life. Guess what I was happier than ever after a month of so of getting used to it.

So I am saying go to MN and live on a goat farm, no unless that is what you always really wanted ( and I don't know who would)
But you have to start finding the importance in life first in yourself just being you, and next be open and caring, you have to risk being hurt to let others in. You will get hurt, but without the risk and some pain, you will never be close to others either.

[ranieri]

Sosdog,
You're entire life has been built around You! The whole of your world revolved around you and only you. You are not happy now because you are not surrounded by ***-kissers now that constantly blow sunshine up yours! Your life and its purpose only served you! Did you service any one and dump some of the praise you were getting onto others! Pass it forward? Did you ever do a non selfish thing for someone else and not expect anything in return? Did you donate to a church or youth organization with out broadcasting your good deed all over the filthy rich so called do gooders list so that you all could feel high and mighty about yourselves? Help a homeless person, when was the last time you really got involved? You were on your way somewhere important to you and another human being really could have used an extra helping hand or a kind word or deed or just a smile, a tire change, you not acting like everyone else is in your way alllll the time and of absolutely no use or importance to you.
Do you feel as if all that you knew about the world and your existence seems to be crumbling down around you! Well it is! What is happening to you now is exactly what is suppose to be happening to you right this very moment! Will the real sosdog please stand up! Where am I? Who am I? What am I really about? Now that I have spent all of this time serving my ego, now what do I do? What was I really supposed to be doing? You are at a crossroads in your life. Its as if your soul is remembering its real purpose now. Now that you have gotten YOU out of your system it is time now to help others. To serve others for a time.
Every aspect of your life is about to change. Every. You asked for this change some time ago. And it is happening now. You had an epiphany of sorts a lil' while back. And Now Bang! Here are all the changes you asked for! They will come rapid succession, you may feel as if you just stood up and brushed yourself off and here it comes another one. It will continue for about 3-4 yrs until you get where you can be placed to do the most good. Lots of learning hard lessons. Lessons you should have learned before but the ego was in the driving seat. This ride this time is not about you.
You are VERY INTELLIGENT, but you have not used your mind for the good of all mankind! And this is your lifes destiny now. Peace ranieri

i may need guidance.

ok- i am middle aged. (8/19/1968)
married, 3 kids, house, regular kinda life i suppose.

the problem is not in my home life though. i am having trouble professionally.

i grew up smart, fast and independant. never had any 'real' friend type things.

i was cocky, confident (to the point of arrogant) and very good at everything i did. i was constantly bombarded with praise and opportunities.

of course, im older now.

why is it that now that i am older and not the king of the world can i not find 'anything' that will sustain me? and why can i not see that the 'real' world is not what i think it is?

why am i unable to understand anyone at all?

lastly, why am i unable to build lasting friendships?

[Sosdog]

Thanks for the insight.

Aannndddddddd... yes I may have been rather shallow when I was younger.

Realizing this before I had started to modify myself in various ways. I am not shallow any longer and the world does not focus on me. I don't put myself before anyone anymore (not sure if this is good or not, because I can barely put my family ahead of strangers also) and I strive to be upright.

Now that I have made changes, I see the difference in everyone else around me. I see the actions and reactions of people at work, the store, at home, everywhere. And it distresses me to see people act in such a fashion.

Narrowing the scope of my question, now that I have changed myself to become a better person, I don't get along with anyone else. I like myself much better now, but cannot relate to anyone else.

How is this 'reaction' to my 'action' supposed to help me at all?

Sos

[ranieri]

Sosdog
It has to do with how you were raised. You've been hurt by your parents(one or both of them not being there for you like they should have) You don't want to be hut like that ever again! Its hard for you to trust, to have faith or find faith in. You take along time getting into relationships and a long time getting out of relationships. You do not turn your feelings off and on like a light switch all though you have had yourself trained to this mode, Ego. But it is not you to keep your wall up for soooooo long. Decades long.
You are not so egotistical, don't be sooo hard on yourself. We all go through a selfish stage in our late teens 20s and some 30s. Yes you have always been a good person. Maybe you needed to swing way out the other way to really feel for the other guy. So you would not do to others by being a living example in your life now. Like in the movie Bruce Almighty! He thought he wanted what the other guy had. Careered to death , fame but it is an empty life without depth.
You have always had depth. You just stuffed it way down inside, that sensitive part of you, that does get their feelings hurt and realllly does care just like everyone else. You have had your heart closed off all this time. Its like when I see you, you were literally standing there with your arms bent at the elbow and criss crossed across your heart. No more, you don't want to hear it see it taste it smell it touch it, pain and hurt and sorrow, ANY MORE!
You are a healer, you have been in denial all of you life. Yes you are one of the reluctant messiahs being asked to step up to the plate now. You can read people! You can feel them in you're very soul. You can be feeling one way and then someone comes into the room and your mood completely changes. Based on the mood of the person that just came in. You have learned to be a piss ant and push the feelings way down inside and become a sort of arrogant pain to keep everyone at a distance.
Don't worry though that attitude has been manifesting for a reason, your temper and the way you are with people will come in handy in your new endeavors. The real you is manifesting itself. You have had a hard life, healers have to have all experience so that they can help others, all when they come to them for help. It is typical of a healer to help others even before themselves or family. It is typical that a healers problems are usually worse than those they are trying to help. Your energy is to give. Always to give.. You have a gift you are here to work on peace ranieri

sosdog,
You're entire life has been built around You! The whole of your world revolved around you and only you. You are not happy now because you are not surrounded by ***-kissers now that constantly blow sunshine up yours! Your life and its purpose only served you! Did you service any one and dump some of the praise you were getting onto others!? Pass it forward? Did you ever do a non selfish thing for someone else and not expect anything in return? Did you donate to a church or youth organization with out broadcasting your good deed all over the filthy rich so called do gooders list so that you all could feel high and mighty about yourselves? Help a homeless person, when was the last time you really got involved? You were on your way somewhere important to you and another human being really could have used an extra helping hand or a kind word or deed or just a smile, a tire change, you not acting like everyone else is in your way alllll the time and of absolutely no use or importance to you.
Do you feel as if all that you knew about the world and your existence seems to be crumbling down around you!? Well it is! What is happening to you now is exactly what is suppose to be happening to you right this very moment! Will the real sosdog please stand up! Where am I? Who am I? What am I really about? Now that I have spent all of this time serving my ego, now what do I do? What was I really supposed to be doing? You are at a crossroads in your life. Its as if your soul is remembering its real purpose now. Now that you have gotten YOU out of your system it is time now to help others. To serve others for a time.
Every aspect of your life is about to change. Every. You asked for this change some time ago. And it is happening now. You had an epiphany of sorts a lil' while back. And Now Bang! Here are all the changes you asked for! They will come rapid succession, you may feel as if you just stood up and brushed your self off and here it comes another one. It will continue for about 3-4 yrs until you get where you can be placed to do the most good. Lots of learning hard lessons. Lessons you should have learned before but the ego was in the driving seat. This ride this time is not about you.
You are VERY INTELLIGENT, but you have not used your mind for the good of all mankind! And this is your lifes destiny now. peace ranieri

[ranieri]

Sosdog
About relating. Just relax and learn to sllow your pace. As a healer you will find that you have no ne to lean on! Im sorry but his is often the hardest part for some. You find you are there for everyone and their dog when they need a shoulder. But not for you. You will find your guiding lights at your deepest darkest moments. When you swear it can't get any worse there will be ones along your path to light the way for you. From the most unlikely of places will come your friends. People with whom you're so called friends and relatives would not dare even speak to. But they will be your most loyal of all friends, they won't stab you in the back or steal from you or do your family wrong.
Jesus had no one to rely on. The apostles did not care that he was afraid his last days on earth. He needed to talk about what was about to befall him and they went to sleep. He was an outcast against the grain of society to preach openly to love thy neighbor and help your fellow brothers and sisters.
His own friends turned him in for money gold.
You will find solace in a new company of friends before you know it. They are just not who you'd pick for yourself to hang out with. Relax and enjoy the ride, its not in your hands any more. You have friends all around you that you converse with everyday. You are already finding like minds.
Its like the crew on "Star Wars". Nope its not a crew you'd recruit for. They are not each stamped perfectly from USA grade A man types. But they will each have there own special gifts to help you with yours. Would you have chosen Hans Sole knowing his Ego tends to get in the way? And what about his flight record? And Chewbaca to guide your ship. LOL
It takes all kinds. We all have our own gift unique to us and our situation. Your life and how you were brought into this world was simply a means to an end do not dwell on the past or what has been. You were born an Independent.. It means you did not need the mother, father energy to make it all right for you. In spite of what society says or has siad to you. You did not need the likes of a mom or dad in this life time. It was more important that you get your bum back here on the planet to help hands on asap. There is a lot that need helping with here. Help others evolve.
Healers are born into difficult circumstances. It is up to you to make it all right for you this life time. No one else is going to do it. Remember what I said it is not about you this lifetime. You have already worked these energies out in previous lifetimes. Wife and relationships will not weigh heavily on you this lifetime. You care, but you have a greater need to help those really in need.
You have a lot of sycophants , leaches, mooches clinging to you now. Ohters that are old enough and big enough to stand on their own 2 feet that are sucking your life force out of you. Stop being their door mats. You may have thought that you were mean previously but don't become a door mat for others. Help you 1st. Peace ranieri

Sosdog
It has to do with how you were raised. You've been hurt by your parents(one or both of them not being there for you like they should have) You dont want to be hut like that ever again! Its hard for you to trust, to have faith or find faith in. You take along time getting into relationships and a long time getting out of relationships. You do not turn your feelings off and on like a light switch all though you have had yourself trained to this mode, Ego. But it is not you to keep your wall up for soooooo long. Decades long.
You are not soo egotistical, dont be sooo hard on your self. We all go through a selfish stage in our late teens 20s and some 30s. Yes you have always been a good person. Maybe you needed to swing way out the other way to really feel for the other guy. So you would not do to others by being a living example in your life now. Like in the movie Bruce Almighty! He thought he wanted what the other guy had. Careered to death , fame but it is an empty life without depth.
You have always had depth. You just stuffed it way down inside, that sensitive part of you, that does get their feelings hurt and realllly does care just like everyone else. You have had your heart closed off all this time. Its like when I see you, you were literally standing there with your arms bent at the elbow and criss crossed across your heart. No more, you dont want to hear it see it taste it smell it touch it, pain and hurt and sorrow, ANY MORE!
You are a healer, you have been in denial all of you life. Yes you are one of the reluctant messiahs being asked to step up to the plate now. You can read people! You can feel them in youre very soul. You can be feeling one way and then someone comes into the room and your mood completely changes. Based on the mood of the person that just came in. You have learned to be a piss ant and push the feelings way down inside and become a sort of arrogant pain to keep everyone at a distance.
Dont worry though that attitude has been manifesting for a reason, your temper and the way you are with people will come in handy in your new endeavors. The real you is manifesting itself. You have had a hard life, healers have to have all experience so that they can help others, all when they come to them for help. It is typical of a healer to help others even before themselves or family. It is typical that a healers problems are usually worse than those they are trying to help. Your energy is to give. Always to give.. You have a gift you are here to work on peace ranieri