[ruby07]

I'm 24 and he's 25.
Im in medical school so I have plenty to keep me busy.
This is not my first break but it is my first serious break from a serious relationship.

I agree with what you guys have to say, but should I see him this week?

[Ash123]

He's either protecting himself, missing you and confused, or wanting to ease the tension and see what's next.
I would guess that he's missing you, but the old problems remain.

BE CAREFUL. A breaking of NC does not a relationship make...

I would trust your gut... tell yourself you're going to meet up with him and see how you feel about how it will go. If you listen to your gut, and it says take a couple days and get your head together - do it... You have spent a lot of time so I KNEW he would not stand NC for long... the thing is - if you see him- are you OK with it?

You are in control now. Think about what you want and how much life potential you all have and then meet once you are comfortable and address the space he needs and find a way to accept that... he may find it's not all he dreamed that space would be, but it may be good for both of you... RELAX, he's not going anywhere today.

[ruby07]

It does seem like I have some control now.
I don't want to seem weak and let him walk all over me again.
I'm going to be strong and not seem so available all the time for him; give him a taste of his own medicine sort of.

I'm still thinking about meeting up with him. I'll have to weigh the pros and cons.

[talaniman]

If you reread your original post, he wants to be friends, and doesn't see a future with you, and he was adamant about it. Not good, that you took the blame as he walked away. Now his texting has you confused, as to his intentions, and your holding hope that he has changed his mind, so of course your more than happy to get with him, and work things out. If you find out he wants you as a friend, you will not only be devastated, your healing will be set back even further. He broke up with you, for whatever reason, and those issues are on the table still, and unresolved. You should focus on you and see things more realistically, before you decide to give him another chance to bring you misery and pain. Don't be in a rush to jump back into the frying pan, while your still confused and hurting.

[SAB123]

Like I said in beginning of your post I contacted my ex after 2 months. I told her I still wanted us to be married she said no. Not only did I move back to square one I was also hurt even more because she did she didn't want to marry me. So I agree what Tal says. Heal then if you want to see where you stand then go for it. Although I still miss my ex I see her for what she is, and I will never take her back or speak to her again. That's because I am healing and the emotional dust is now settling.

[ruby07]

Hey Guys,

My ex and I have been broken up for about a month now. We met once and he told me still likes me but is still confused. I tried the no contact but we do text once in a while. We don't really converse over the phone much anymore. His confusion ends up confusing me. I had told him that I'm fed up with his confusion and that he needs to figure things out before even trying to talk to me, but he ends up texting me like nothing is wrong. I still want him back and I feel like things can work out if we hang out as friends. What do you guys think?

Thanks.

[x2scorp]

Ruby,
Sounds like he is trying to lead you o, Cut the string, I don't really think he is interested in your true feelings, if he did he would respect you enough to not make you confused. You are better than that. Move on honey.

Good luck,
Mel

[kt1205]

I think that its best to just not respond to him or just tell him you want him to leave you alone because he's going to just keep trying to talk to you. Unless you're the one going to him. Then you need to stop. Its harder to get over a person when you still talk to them

[talaniman]

If you cut the contact you will be less confused. Leave him alone and move on with your life.

[ruby07]

Hi,
I'm in need of more advice!

After a week and a half of breaking up with me, my ex contacts me and tells me he still likes me but doesn't know what he wants. Ever since then we have been in touch with each other. We talk once in a while, but not as often as we used to. Our conversations are great and we act very nice toward each other. I guess you can say we are friends. We avoid talking about the relationship. I want to start new and show him how I have changed for the better. I do slip sometimes but that will take time to change. It has now been two months, and I want to get back together with him but do not want to rush things. What should I do from here? How should I act? Please guide me!

Also, lately, I have been getting in touch with my ex more often than he gets in touch with me. I know that's a big NO NO, but our conversations are good and he makes me feel comfortable contacting him. However, he said he would call me Saturday, but never did. Last time I stopped contacting him, he would text/call all the time. Last week, I was the one texting and calling, he never called me unless to respond to me. Should I stop contacting him to get a response out of him? To the guys: How does this game work!

Any help would be appreciated. Thank you guys!

[Jiser]

Woha slow down. You have changed in a week? No I don't think so, unless you have been through some life changing traumatic event I doubt it.

This relationship is over, he's confused and wants you on the back burner. I suggest you go no contact for your own sanity. Or the ongoing pattern of confusion and game playing will prevail over your emotional health - Which is not good. Trust me Ive been there. Ex confused but still 'likes you' or perhaps you're the safety net and habit.

Time to move on and put this one down to experience. In time with No contact, you will move on and he will be a fading memory. No contact means deleting his number, myspace, Facebook, email and blocking him and all memories away!

If you fail to do this you will be back here, maybe? - time and time again. You will fail to heal and your emotional and maybe physical health will suffer.

Concentrate on you now, what you want. Ever wanted to do something? Do it, go travelling, book a holiday, start yoga, go out and party, see your friends more, read a book, learn a little every day, but whatever you do don't break NC. Your be stronger at the end of the day and your ex would have lost out in his own confusion not yours.

Maybe you will be friends one day but not until the emotional dust has settled. Let it, I advise you!

[ConfusedandLost]

Sounds like your in quite a predicament here... if your heart can handle it, I would just take it day by day and go from there. It looks like the two of you are opposite ends of the scale. You want more and he is unsure of what exactly what he wants. If you force the relationship issue with him you will certainly drive him away by pressuring him and causing undo stress. Like I said if you can handle just being friends for now, I would with that... if you can't your going to have to walk away from him until he figures out what he wants. If it was meant for a second time it will happen... just let it happen naturally...

[Homegirl 50]

I think you need to just leave it alone. If he wanted you back, he would have said so. He may have no problems being a friend to you, but it appears that is all he wants.
I think you either need to accept that or just stop talking to him all together. The fact that he is not the first to call you, should tell you something.

[ruby07]

Is there no possibility that this can be a SLOW start to getting back together? I feel that we needed this "break" and time to value each other more.

Also, its been two months, not one week.

[Homegirl 50]

If this is what you have after two months, this is all you're going to have. I would think that he has moved on, so should you.

[Ash123]

MAKE HIM WORK.

Geez, what are you his hired phone friend?
If friends is OK, keep going... if not, consider this:

You are still on his mind, but you are easy to have as a friend.
If you want to be more than friends, he MUST contact you.
And you don't have to answer... At your age (how old are you? )
Relationships cannot be expected to last forever. So, he is doing what's normal.

But if you all have any chance left, it's going to take you being a bit more... busy!
... go on a trip, a date, a movie night. Try a month of no talking and see what kind
Of messages you get - you may be surprised. I hate games - but today, I'll share that.

Just know that games are for kids and relationships are for adults.

[ruby07]

I agree with you Ash123. We did avoid talking for a while and he contacted me a lot.
Once I started contacting him, he kind of just responded back to my messages and calls.

I am 24 and he is 25. I feel that with time and friendship, maybe we can see where we stand with each other. Maybe we will value each other more as time goes on and learn from our mistakes we made before, which is why I keep in touch with him. But I'm going to try leaving the ball in his court this time. I'm trying to take it a day at a time.

[mckenzie134]

Leave him Alone. If he wants to be with you he will let you know.

If he does not then you will know.

Don't contact him anyway, be prepared to lose him befopre hen will come back, this is the only way.

If you only want to be friends, then keep doing what you are doing and calling him cause adventually he will not want you in any way...

[ruby07]

Hi Guys...

I'm not contacting him anymore. You all were right. No matter how much I will try to better myself, he won't change. I am going to try to get over him by not contacting him. Hopefully he'll feel the void.

If he does contact me, is it okay to ignore his calls and texts? I've never done that because I always considered it rude, but I feel like I really need to stay away from him. It's the best thing for me. I just don't know how.

Please advise.

[Jiser]

Yeh ignore him! Hes in your past. Leave it there for your own sanity. Don't be his safety net. Nc