[Witchywoman1212]

Multiple threads merged

Hello everyone!

I'm new to this site, I wanted to know that is not responding when your ex calls and becoming 'unavailable' and also not be a wussgal, (like I was)is it effective to get him back?or at least capture his interest?
My boyfriend of 8months and I broke up,he initiated it first,saying he needed space and had a lot of pressure from school,he lost his mom 3 years ago and was shaken by this, I met him on a support group I was going to. Fine I gave him all the space he needed He complained that I was needy and possesive but he does give me reasons
Come to find out while in his "space" he met someone else, a girl at his school. He's 30,I'm 32. I hit totally rock bottom! Thankgoodness we don't go to the same college because if I had a would break her neck! My hobbies are kickboxing and wrestling, maybe I could put them too good use.
Now he asks if we can stay friends because I was his biggest support when things went bad,he was mine also. But stupid me thought of going along with it because I do still love him. Now as I think about its too darn painful, so I've ignored his calls and block his messages. He made his bed now he should lie on it. I deleted my from my contacts on myspace,messenger, his cell you name it, even if I know it by heart.
Would not answering him give him a wake up call?
I still love him but can't be on a limb like this,its killing me because I know I'd take him back in a second,help!

[ISneezeFunny]

No friendship.

Typical breakup (need space, hey new girl)

Ignore his calls. You're doing fine. Is it effective? Depends on what you're asking about. It's effective to help you get over him.

It might give him a wakeup call... it might not. The thing you should be concerned about is how to get yourself to feel better. So you did the right thing by cutting all contact. Now, get out there and do things for yourself.

[Witchywoman1212]

Hey thanks for replying. Just I wasn't brought out to be disrespful not replying to folks, but it hurts too much. I do want to hear from him but only if he broke up with that girl.
Plus he didn't leave a message so its probably not important,he would if it was. Just wondering what's the purpose for the calls, if he's got someone. My friends say he might miss me, but that's not enough if he doesn't want to be with me.
Still doesn't make it better.

[ISneezeFunny]

It's just his way of not losing you as a part of your life. Technically, he's trying to have his cake and eat it too.

I understand that you're trying to be nice, but right now, it's your time. You do what makes you happy and you do what makes you feel good. If it's important, he'll leave you a message, like you said.

I would read the two stickies under the relationship forum. It's on point. If you want, read my story "I am doing NC, what about her?" Read ihatewestseneca's story. Read Romefalls' story. It's all the same.

[Witchywoman1212]

Okay, I would love to hear your story and Wseneca.
Gosh I feel as though I'm the only one but everyone has probably the same expreience.
About that cake, he needs to find another baker!
I'm trying to stop myself from telling him off,I know he met her and cheated on me but kept denying it when I asked him before!
So ignoring his calls would do the trick? I'm so angry I don't want to speak to him.

[ISneezeFunny]

Mine: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...er-161688.html

West:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ak-165161.html

Freakinconfused (halfway down the first page):
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...do-142152.html

[Witchywoman1212]

Hi,
I read your post last night,and some again,
tell me did you ever hook up with any of your friends,or started dating again?What happed to your x? Please give me some happy endings here :)

[HistorianChick]

Darlin, no contact shouldn't be about getting him back... it should be about healing your heart and your emotions. You are the important thing in this situation - your heart has been ripped apart, your emotions are on that perpetual roller coaster, and you are probably happy one minute and crying the next, right?

No contact with your ex is not a means to an end. Don't think of it as a way to get him back or make him come to his senses and realize that you are the best thing he could have ever had. Don't view it as a tactic to take him down and make him yours again (I love kickboxing too, by the way!). Relationships aren't a ring - nor can they be viewed as one.

Focus on you. Heal your heart. Re-conquer your emotions. Get off that roller coaster and come have a seat on the porch swing with the rest of us that have been through it.

Take care, hon. And keep that beautiful, amazing, wonderful, individual, unique, divinity-in-a-nifty-package chin up. :)

[ISneezeFunny]

Happy endings... well, I got a happy ending for you.

Currently, it's been 2 months since my ex and I broke up. From what I hear... my ex and her new guy... suck. By suck, I mean, she has lost many of her friends and her reputation as "the good girl" has gone down the crapper. This is mainly due to the way she broke up with me... and what she did afterwards. Currently, she's dropped all of her friends and is spending time with new guy. Also, the new guy... his rep around town is that he is a cheater... as soon as my ex and him started seeing each other, about 3 - girls came up to me (girls I know through friends) and have told me that they've all been cheated on by him and that he's scum of the earth. So... yeah.

I haven't hooked up with any of my friends... per se. My updates will tell you what's been going on in my life. As of right now, just enjoying my freedom, having a good time... I'm going on a date this Friday with a girl I actually really like a lot... so we'll see how this goes.

Keep your head up. Once it's all over, you'll look back and think,. I cried over that? Ridiculous.

[Witchywoman1212]

Thanks Historian Chick,and Sneeze guy! You've been very helpful,now can you Histchick help me kickbox some jerks out there, especially Sneeze's as well as my ex! Yes you got that right HistChick,one minute I'm feeling good the next is just downhill!
It's a shame that people have to go around hurting others,and that's also interesting Sneeze that you can f8ind out what she's up to through friends, me I cant. Don't have that many mutual friends that can keep tabs on him,plus part of me don't want to know,(especially if they are happy) That's what you got to watch out for Sneeze,you don't want to hear about her unpcomming engagement or something.
I wish I can look back and erase this but its killing me, haven't heard a peep from him but then I guess I shouldn't care. Unfortunately I do : (

[talaniman]

I still love him but can't be on a limb like this,its killing me because I know I'd take him back in a second,help!

No contact with the ex, gives you a chance to go through the healing process, with no confusion, drama, or pressure from the ex, and lets you move on, and make better decisions for yourself, based on facts and not emotions. Its about you now, and you have done an excellent job so far ,and I hope you can continue dow that path. 99% of the people who give themselves a chance to heal, and see things from a more realistic perspective, actually see their exes for what they are, and choose not to go back. Click on the links in my signature, and gain some insights into what to do when you break up, and see if they apply to your situation, and let us know. From what you have written, your going through the same thing we all have gone through, so join the party, you are not alone at all.

[HistorianChick]

I'm going to forward you to my "Quotes that have influenced your life" thread... There are soooo many quotes on there that are helpful in any time of heartbreak situation... especially mine from today... here is the last page:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/books-...171287-18.html

[DMBacoustic]

HC, I hope there are Home Alone quotes in that link.

And if not for good measure

"I'm not afraid anymore!"

[anamia]

I do that too... delete the contact in the cell even though u know the number by heart. But I think it's a grand statement for you not to answer or save the number. He will realize what he's been mising. He took you for granted.

[Witchywoman1212]

Hey, I appreciate those quotes, very sad but true. Anamia,I eralize he did take me for granted,and I let him, you guys,this is a blessing! Keep forwarding all this great stuff, You all are Gems. This is the best site I ever stumbled upon, sorry its under these circumstances. By doing this NC thing I read about,I'd worry he'd think I'm pissed at him which I am. But I don't want to be -chattin or shooting the breeze with him thinking everything is okay either

[friend4u178]

Its a shame that people have to go around hurtin others,and thats also interesting Sneeze that you can f8ind out what she's up to through friends, me I cant. Dont have that many mutual friends that can keep tabs on him,plus part of me dont want to know,(especially if they are happy) Thats what you got to watch out for Sneeze,you dont want to hear about her unpcomming engagement or something. (

Hi
I have to tell you the fact you don't have access to information about him is a good thing for you. I see so many posts on here where a persons progress is delayed because they want to know all the sordid details of what their Ex is up to. Reading their myspace and Facebook etc. asking friends and family what Ex is up to.

There are also a lot of people who don't have the luxury of No Contact , through either having to see them at work , through mutual friends etc.
So make the most of the fact you can go NC quite easily and just bare with the pain for a while , it will get better a lot faster that way.

And come on here and vent whenever you feel a bit down or just need to blurt something out , there are some great people on here and it will become like your very own online support group.

Good Luck!

[ISneezeFunny]

well the thing is, I don't really try and "keep up" with her... people just randomly come up to me and tell me. At times, someone'll come up and say, "Did you hear what your ex did this weekend?" and I'll smile... and say, "No, I didn't...and I'd like to keep it that way."

As of right now, if I hear that she is engaged to the new guy... I think I would laugh. Mainly because I know how unfit this new guy is for her.

Let me draw you a picture: I am... somewhat intelligent (medical student with math/comp sci background)... pretty responsible... I'd like to consider myself "mature"... I don't really do a lot of things that "normal" kids my age do. I work 2 jobs and volunteer weekly... so it gives me little room to party. I wear a sweatshirt + jeans whenever possible. That's me.

this new guy... hair is gel-ed everyday, wears an earring, is decked out in HOLLISTER wear from head to toe and has a thing for chapstick. He is a year younger than she is and from what I hear... not so brilliant.

we're... worlds apart. I'm not saying that she's better off with me, but I know that this guy is nowhere near her cup of tea.

It's best you don't hear about your ex. Really. Sometimes, it can ruin your day.

[ihatewestseneca]

It's best you don't hear about your ex. Really. Sometimes, it can ruin your day.

Agreed, hence my snooping thread... sigh... haven't checked her Facebook since that thread though.

[friend4u178]

agreed, hence my snooping thread... sigh... havent checked her facebook since that thread though.

Exactly my point , delays the progress , right "west"?

[ISneezeFunny]

I'm glad to hear that.

I'm ashamed to say that I can't say the same for myself.

I haven't checked my fbook or myspace in... a month or so, but my school/work network registers everyone onto my buddy list... so whenever she's on, I look to see if the new guy's on as well.

It's weird... because I barely care anymore. I just do it out of habit I think.