[chrissy32290]

I just met this guy and I really like him and I introduced him to my mom but she doesn't want me seeing him.. she is very judgemental.. n its hard because I can't go out with him but he's so sweet and he calls me every night even if he is busy all day if he has a minute he will call me.. I need help any advice on how I might be able to convince my mom on letting me see him?

[Fr_Chuck]

1 how old are you
2. is it just him, or is it dating in general she does not want you to do
3. what specific is it about him

[chrissy32290]

1 how old are you
2. is it just him, or is it dating in general she does not want you to do
3. what specific is it about him

I am 17... she doesn't have a problem at all with me dating... im hispanic and she doesn't want me dating blacks or anything like there's certain things she looks for in the guys I date which I don't understand at all because she's not going to be with them... he has a lot of tattoos and two piercings but that's all I can think about

[Wondergirl]

shes not going to be with them

True, but her daughter whom she loves dearly is going to be with them.

Have you asked her what her objections are? You seem to be jumping to conclusions about her just like you claim she is about guys you want to date.

[Alty]

How old is he? Could it be the difference in age she objects to? If you're 17 and he's in his 20's I can see why she might be concerned. Judging someone on his race or color though isn't cool, I hope that isn't the case.

[chrissy32290]

How old is he? Could it be the difference in age she objects to? If you're 17 and he's in his 20's I can see why she might be concerned. Judging someone on his race or color though isn't cool, I hope that isn't the case.

He is 20 and I really doubt it is his age because I've dated older and she was OK with it... she doesn't have a problem wth me being friends with blacks but dating them she definitely will not let me which I don't understand

[Alty]

I think it's time for you to talk to her and find out exactly why she has a problem with this guy. Long story short though, you are only 17 and still live under her roof, therefore, to a large degree, she makes the rules and you have to accept them. I know it isn't easy, I remember being 17 and how strongly I disagreed with my parents about things that I couldn't understand at that age. I also remember thinking that I knew everything back then, oh how wrong I was. If this guy really means allot to you then talk to your mom, if she still doesn't like the idea of you dating him then wait until you move out, then you can make your own decisions, good or bad. Do remember to keep your cool when you're talking to your mom, nothing shows a mom how unready you are to make your own decisions than the loss of control by yelling or screaming.

[chrissy32290]

I think it's time for you to talk to her and find out exactly why she has a problem with this guy. Long story short though, you are only 17 and still live under her roof, therefore, to a large degree, she makes the rules and you have to accept them. I know it isn't easy, I remember being 17 and how strongly I disagreed with my parents about things that I couldn't understand at that age. I also remember thinking that I knew everything back then, oh how wrong I was. If this guy really means allot to you then talk to your mom, if she still doesn't like the idea of you dating him then wait until you move out, then you can make your own decisions, good or bad. Do remember to keep your cool when you're talking to your mom, nothing shows a mom how unready you are to make your own decisions than the loss of control by yelling or screaming.

I think she thinks I'm going to make the same mistake as her because she had me when she was 18 and she's always telling me how stupid she was for making the decisions she made and she got married young.. she says she doesn't regret having me at all but if she could go back she would wait a little longer... but I don't want to get married or anything... I want to go to college and then see where it goes from there I am definitely not planning on having kids anytime soon... I know I'm still young and I have a lot of ahead of me but I don't think she know I know that... all I want is to have someone I can cuddle with and feel comfortable with that's all but I don't think she understands that

[Fr_Chuck]

Perhaps you can have him come visit when she is home, let her get to know him ( assuming he is polite and cleans up good for moms approval

[simoneaugie]

You aren't quite old enough to make the rules. It sounds like your mom just wants what is best for you. Tell her calmly what you just said here. You want to go to college, you have no intention of getting married or having a baby. Tell him what's up. Then, hang out with him as a friend. When you are 18, make your own rules.

[Alty]

We always give advice based on our past experiences, and that's were your mothers advice is coming from. I'm sure she never intended to be married young and have a child when she was 18 (even though I'm sure she doesn't regret having you). She's just worried that despite your maturity and wanting to go to college etc. you might fall into a moment of passion (it happens to the best of us) and end up making the same mistakes she made. You should talk to her, let her know that you have a good head on your shoulders and that even if you date this guy it doesn't mean you're having sex, and if and when you do decide to take that step assure her that you will be smart about using protection against pregnancy and std's. I don't know if this will reassure her enough to cut the apron strings but it might help. Do remember one thing, it sounds like she is only trying to keep you safe, that's because she loves you. One day you'll understand were she is coming from, when you have children of your own.

[Curious0-1]

I ALWAYS listen to my parents. They're usually right. I would suggest you talk with your mom and ask her why she really thinks he is not "good enough" for you or why she is against it. Maybe that way she can give you a good reason. Just a suggestion.

[chrissy32290]

You aren't quite old enough to make the rules. It sounds like your mom just wants what is best for you. Tell her calmly what you just said here. You want to go to college, you have no intention of getting married or having a baby. Tell him what's up. Then, hang out with him as a friend. When you are 18, make your own rules.

I'm going to b 18 in less a month and I really don't think much is going to change

[chrissy32290]

We always give advice based on our past experiences, and that's were your mothers advice is coming from. I'm sure she never intended to be married young and have a child when she was 18 (even though I'm sure she doesn't regret having you). She's just worried that despite your maturity and wanting to go to college etc. you might fall into a moment of passion (it happens to the best of us) and end up making the same mistakes she made. You should talk to her, let her know that you have a good head on your shoulders and that even if you date this guy it doesn't mean you're having sex, and if and when you do decide to take that step assure her that you will be smart about using protection against pregnancy and std's. I don't know if this will reassure her enough to cut the apron strings but it might help. Do remember one thing, it sounds like she is only trying to keep you safe, that's because she loves you. One day you'll understand were she is coming from, when you have children of your own.

Well I'm not going to lie I'm not a virgin and she knows it I'm actually really close to her and tell her everything that's y I don't understand why she doesn't trust me