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Stacey1994 · Feb 17, 2008, 02:33 PM

Soo me and my boyfriend are both under age, I'm 14 and he's 15. Wel I went round his house with out my parents knowing. When I got there his parents seemed really nice, they then went out for a while to go pick up a car, me and him sat on the sofa for a while just kissing and cuddleing and just mucking about, then things got a bit carried away and he started to undress me, I went along with it and we went into the bedroom. Things got even more carried away and we done stuff, (alot of things) then we had sex. We didn't use anything and I got worried I was pregnant I'm to scared to talk to him about it and worried that he won't understand and now every time I meet him he wants to doo stuff but I'm not ready to go through this worry over and over again. Do I tell him or leave it?
HELP!

TheodoreLamont · Feb 17, 2008, 02:41 PM

Well why not go with telling him? If you leave it you'll just get more and more stressed. If you tell him and he backs off wanting sex then everything is OK, and if he can't back off at all doesn't that show he wants to have sex a little too much?

Stacey1994 · Feb 17, 2008, 02:44 PM

Yeah problem is he wouldn't understand hell just say oh I'm not ready to be a father and break up with me !

TheodoreLamont · Feb 17, 2008, 02:48 PM

Well then why don't you first find out if you are actually pregnant? That way you don't cause extra stress if your not. If you are then your boyfriend should be able to deal with not having protection, wouldn't you agree?

Delow84 · Feb 17, 2008, 02:50 PM

Well if you are pregnant he WILL find out... can't hide it for to long. Best to be straight up, but if you want, make sure you are or aren't before you tell him.

And if you are not ready to have sex tell him straight up... I mean one time heat of the moment, make it a memory but don't feel pressured to repeat it. If he can't handle the fact you want to wait, he isn't the kind of guy you want to be with you.

confused25 · Feb 17, 2008, 03:00 PM

Listen Stacey, you are at risk of ruining your life if you don't start taking a stand for yourself. My opinion... who cares what this guy thinks. If he really cares about you he will understand that you are afraid of getting pregnant and because of that he needs to slow down.

One other thing, this may sound harsh but you are 50% to blame for this problem. If you want to have sex go for it, but use a condom from now on so that you don't have to worry about this.

Lastly, you need to talk to him and your parents about this situation. Pregnancy is no small matter and you need to find out if you are or are not pregnant. From there you will need to take the appropriate steps depending on the outcome.

katrina27 · Feb 17, 2008, 03:03 PM

Pet, your only 14. My heart goes out to u. your just too young for all this. Really you may notm know it, but you made a mistake having sex. Its OK. It happens to a lot of young girls, wanting to grow up too fast. Get a pregnancy test asap, they are 99 per cent accurate. Do you have a friend or relative you trust to be with you when you take it?
Chances are you be OK, and then just have fun being young. Go shopping with girlf and cinema. Read books. Plenty of time for boys later. At 15 they are not able to be men petal. He is prob scared like you are. Maybe someday you will meet up again when you both older. Right now best to put boys on the back burner. You just wanted a little bit of romance, and it went too far. Thing is at 15 boys don't understand that, they think about sex a lot at that age.us girls are the soppy ones!! u will be OK.

Marriedguy · Feb 17, 2008, 03:10 PM

I'm glad that you are mature enough to know that you are too young to go through these problems.

I hope that this was something that was not forced. But rather on the lines that one thing went to another and you two got lost in the moment.

If you don't want to continue having sex tell him the truth. Tell him that you weren't ready to take it that far. And if and when I'm ready to do it again we have to use protection.

Now.. for you protection get condoms. And be careful!

Fr_Chuck · Feb 17, 2008, 05:43 PM

Yes, you learned a hard lesson, I wish I could say something to make it all better, First you have to have respect for you, if you don't want to have sex anymore for now, and wait, tell him, if he does not want to be with you if he can't have sex, he was not worth having anyway.
You need never to do anything you don't really want to.

And yes, anytimme you have unprotected sex, you can end up pregnant, and even with condoms and the pill they are not 100 percent, and you need to be using both if you are going to be having sex.

If you believe you are pregnant, you are also going to have to talk to your mom and get a test to be sure.

Alty · Feb 17, 2008, 07:42 PM

What happened, happened and there's no taking it back but that doesn't mean that you should continue having sex or that he should expect you to. Tell him that, although you aren't sorry that it happened, you aren't ready to handle the consequences of sex at this time in your life and aren't ready to continue a sexual relationship with him. If he cares about you at all then this will be okay with him, if it isn't okay then say good riddance, he isn't worthy of you. Please do get a pregnancy test and find out if your first time resulted in a child, if that is the case than you have to talk to him and your parents about it so that you can come to a well informed decision about what you are going to do about it. If you find out that you aren't pregnant and decide to continue having sex (please don't you are so young) than see your doctor and get started on the pill and also use condoms to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases. I hope you figure it all out. Take care.

Ash123 · Feb 17, 2008, 09:24 PM

Just because you did it once does not mean you have to keep doing it... there's noo point in intimacy unless it makes us feel good and fulfilled... otherwise, what's the point?

Alty · Feb 17, 2008, 09:47 PM

Originally Posted by luv_wriitez_a_faiirytale

May i also add that he should have been more mature about it, knowing that you are of course only 14 and he is 15.

I don't think this is a factor, 14 or 15, neither one of them is old enough or mature enough to make a decision concerning sex. Bottom line, they both made a mistake, they are equally responsible, what's done is done and now it's time to gain some wisdom and move on.

confused25 · Feb 17, 2008, 11:20 PM

Originally Posted by luv_wriitez_a_faiirytale

May i also add that he should have been more mature about it, knowing that you are of course only 14 and he is 15.

I really have to disagree with this statement. There truly is no difference in maturity between the age of 14 and 15. Furthermore, its very possible that he is only 1, 2, or even 3 months older, which makes the whole issue moot. Nevertheless, even if he was one full year older it doesn't mean he is that much wiser.

What I'm trying to say is that both are responsible for their actions and it does no good to say that one is more at fault then the other.

talaniman · Feb 17, 2008, 11:55 PM

While it true a mistake was made, and you both share the blame, you still need to stand up for yourself, and set boundaries, and never be caught alone with him. If he breaks up with you, for that reason, all he wanted was sex anyway. Let him get someone else pregnant, not you. Save the sex for when your older, and wiser. Remember even a condom is no guarantee, you will not get pregnant.

HistorianChick · Feb 18, 2008, 02:31 PM

Darling, if you are not ready then you are not ready. Any boy who tries to convince you otherwise is not worth it.

We have all made mistakes in our past. Don't let this mistake define you... it is not who you are, or who you have to be. I know that my mistakes often challenged me to be stronger and to not let people influence me.

Be strong, dearheart. Even if you are not pregnant and this scare was just a scare, let it be a lesson to you. You must tell him that you are not going to have sex until you're older/wiser/ready to be a Mom. If he is a good guy, then he will respect that.

Don't ever let any boy talk you into doing something you don't want to do. Ever.

Keep your chin up, hon. :)