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love-javier · Feb 13, 2008, 10:36 AM

I don't know how I can get my ex (who has never even seen my son) to sign over his rights so that my boyfriend, who has been a part of his life since the later months of my pregnancy, to sign over his rights. If you know anything at all about this pleas answer!

love-javier · Feb 13, 2008, 01:22 PM

I have a two year old son and I'm young. My ex boyfriend parents moved to TX when I got pregnant and were busted twice for drugs so I completely stopped talking to all of them. They have never seen my son or anything and my boyfriend has been a father to my son since he was born. When we get married we want him to be able to adopt him. Im pretty sure that my ex will sign the papers but I don't even know where to get them... do we just go to the courthouse? Do we hafto do a DNA test and if so do I hafto pay for it?

macksmom · Feb 15, 2008, 07:06 AM

You ex will have to WILLINGLY relinquish his parental rights in order for the child to be adopted.
If he refuses, there really isn't much you can do... that is his right.

If he agrees, you will need to get an attorney because in most states, by law you need one for the adoption.
If the father is on the birth certificate, then no, you wouldn't have to have a DNA test done.
If he isn't, then yes, paternity would have to be established in order for him to relinquish his rights.

But there is really no rush now... most states require you to be married a year before adoption will even be considered. So you might as well wait until you are married, then start looking into it.

love-javier · Feb 28, 2008, 07:01 PM

My ex boyfriend and I had a child two years ago and he has never been a part of his life. His name is not on his birh certificat or anything. What is the next step for him to give up his parental rights to my son can be adopted by my soon to be husband? Does he just go to the cour house? Or do I send him papers or what?

N0help4u · Feb 28, 2008, 07:21 PM

If he is not on the birth certificate what rights does he have to give up?

Fr_Chuck · Feb 28, 2008, 07:36 PM

Yes, for your soon to be husband to adopt, he has to sign over his rights with permission to adopt. Is there any custody agreement from the court, has he signed accepting being the father and was child support ordered against him, Since it is possible the court may require that he proves or has been previously ruled by some court as the father. *** so you can't just get any man off the street to sign that they were the father to adopt.

But your attorney doing the adoption will fill out forms for him to sign, these forms will be filed with the court. The judge may accept, may require documentation that this man is the father.

Also some states in the US, require you to be married first and also some require you to be married for a year first, so not sure on your specific state

love-javier · Feb 28, 2008, 07:43 PM

Than you all for your help... I think it does require a year... and no we have not gone to court or anything at all like that. So I would have to get a lawyer for the adoption process anyway that would handle all of it?

George_1950 · Feb 28, 2008, 07:46 PM

Originally Posted by love-javier

Than you all for your help...i think it does require a year...and no we have not gone to court or anything at all like that. so i would have to get a lawyer for the adoption process anyways that would handle all of it?

You definitely need a lawyer to prepare adoption papers.

macksmom · Feb 29, 2008, 07:24 AM

First off you will most likely have to be married before your "soon to be husband" could adopt... even then, most states require you to be married at least a year before filing in court.
Also, most states require, by law, that you have an attorney for the adoption... so yes, it would be easier to have it all done by the attorney.

Do you know where the father is?
Do you think he willing willingly relinquish his rights?

I ask these questions because your answers will lead down different paths. If you don't know where the father is... this procedure may take a bit longer. You will have to make a good faith effort to locate him. This is usually done by a public announcement in newspapers which have to run for a certain amount of time determined by the court. If the father doesn't come forward, the adoption can go ahead. If he does come forward, he can contest or relinquish his rights.

It is easier if you know where he is, and if you think he will willingly relinquish his rights. (I am going through this personally right now). If the adoption is not contested, meaning the ex is willing to sign over his rights, then you can probably find an attorney that will take care of it all for a flat fee. But you need to visit with more than one attorney, get free consultations, as their flat fees vary greatly. For example, one attorney I visited wanted $1000 flat fee and wanted it all up front before he would start anything. Another one I visited only wanted $550 flat fee and only was asking for $300 of that fee up front to start working on it.

JudyKayTee · Feb 29, 2008, 08:50 AM

Originally Posted by love-javier

My ex boyfriend and i had a child two years ago and he has never been a part of his life. His name is not on his birh certificat or anything. What is the next step for him to give up his parental rights to my son can be adopted by my soon to be husband? does he just go to the cour house? or do I send him papers or what?

You've posted this before - got the same answers.

RickJ · Feb 29, 2008, 09:04 AM

Mod note: 3 questions merged.