[Questions2007]

I went out on a date with this girl Sat night, we got on very well. We were originally meeting for a quick drink early evening as she had a party to go too, but it ended up being a few drinks, and food, we both seemed to get on very well. She ended up heading off at 11.30pm, the last thing she said was what a good time she had, we kissed briefly, I suggested we do it again sometime, she said she'd love too, it was left at that.

So I rang her up last night, no answer so I left a message, just saying hi, and I had a nice time last night, and for her to call me.

She hasn't returned my call at all!

Now I am old enough not to worry about time wasters, but this seemed like she was very interested (she said it!) and she has not called me back. I would like to go out with her again (based on the 1st date!) but am not going to be messed around! That shouldn't happen either, we are not kids, I am 31, she is 26.

Should I call again or not? Maybe a text to say hi.

How should I play it?

[Questions2007]

Getting a second date! Why the mixed signals?

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I went out on a date with this girl Sat night, we got on very well. We were originally meeting for a quick drink early evening as she had a party to go too, but it ended up being a few drinks, and food, we both seemed to get on very well. She ended up heading off at 11.30pm, the last thing she said was what a good time she had, we kissed briefly, I suggested we do it again sometime, she said she'd love too, it was left at that.

So I rang her up last night, no answer so I left a message, just saying hi, and I had a nice time last night, and for her to call me.

She hasn't returned my call at all!

Now I am old enough not to worry about time wasters, but this seemed like she was very interested (she said it!) and she has not called me back. I would like to go out with her again (based on the 1st date!) but am not going to be messed around! That shouldn't happen either, we are not kids, I am 31, she is 26.

Should I call again or not? Maybe a text to say hi.

How should I play it?

[JBeaucaire]

You called her "last night" and are stressing this morning. Chill dude. Seriously. The only messing going on so far is with yourself.

If you are ACTUALLY this impatient, you may not have chased her off yet, but you will, and soon... and won't know why... so you'll stress even more. Ugh.

Relax, go do some yardwork.

Oh, and even if she doesn't ever call you back, no harm no foul. If she doesn't call back today, I'd leave her another "brief" message tomorrow inviting her to something next week that sounds perfectly safe and fun and then she has all week to get back to you. Call her one last time the night before the invite date.

If she doesn't return any of those three calls, she's not interested and hasn't led you on, just go to your event and have fun, you two aren't meant to be.

[HistorianChick]

Don't worry...

Really, you don't want to seem like you're over-zealous or clingy. Let her come to you. You called, told her that you had a great time and would love to do it again... now WAIT!

Believe me... from the girl's point of view... WAIT! (been here, done this! :) )

[JBeaucaire]

You called her "last night" and are stressing this morning. Chill dude. Seriously. The only messing going on so far is with yourself.

If you are ACTUALLY this impatient, you may not have chased her off yet, but you will, and soon... and won't know why... so you'll stress even more. Ugh.

Relax, go do some yardwork.

Oh, and even if she doesn't ever call you back, no harm no foul. If she doesn't call back today, I'd leave her another "brief" message tomorrow inviting her to something next week that sounds perfectly safe and fun and then she has all week to get back to you. Call her one last time the night before the invite date.

If she doesn't return any of those three calls, she's not interested and hasn't led you on, just go to your event and have fun, you two aren't meant to be.

[talaniman]

Just me, I wait for her to return my call, and just keep going on with my life. She may be busy, or working, whatever, but I wait, and if she doesn't call, then it was fun, but move on.

[drali77]

Do not call her now you are going to piss her off
Play it cool
Relax give her some time

[LivingtheLifeinFLA]

She is either not interested or testing you. If the first date went well, she is probably testing you.

Wait a week before you call her back.

[TrueFaith]

Agreed man you have left a message she has gotten it and is waiting to call you back. Don't think oh she might not have gotten it

Play it cool bud ;) if she calls, cool if not don't worry about it :)

Good luck bud

Regards

[Goodmorningworld17]

Getting a second date! Why the mixed signals?

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I went out on a date with this girl Sat night, we got on very well. We were originally meeting for a quick drink early evening as she had a party to go too, but it ended up being a few drinks, and food, we both seemed to get on very well. she ended up heading off at 11.30pm, the last thing she said was what a good time she had, we kissed briefly, I suggested we do it again sometime, she said she'd love too, it was left at that.

So I rang her up last night, no answer so I left a message, just saying hi, and I had a nice time last night, and for her to call me.

She hasn't returned my call at all!!

Now I am old enough not to worry about time wasters, but this seemed like she was very interested (she said it!) and she has not called me back. I would like to go out with her again (based on the 1st date!) but am not going to be messed around! That shouldn't happen either, we are not kids, I am 31, she is 26.

Should I call again or not? Maybe a text to say hi.

How should I play it?

I'd say if she doesn't call back tonight there's a little "hard to get" being played. Simply DO NOT hint to her that your life currently revolves around her, it's a turn off to think that a guy has no life. I'm not saying you do, but let's just say you need to play a little hard to get yourself!

Even though she likes you, maybe more! her not phoning back immediately often means it's a test. Commonly explained by, women are strange, nobody knows!

[allswell]

Hi there. I think you just described me about a week ago! Here's a girl's perspective: I went on a date recently, and really enjoyed his company. He is lovely, and I had a wonderful time and have every intention of seeing him again. Did I contact him? No. I waited for him to do that--which he did. And I did not respond immediately. The main reason is because I tend to take things slow, and even though I had fun I'm in no hurry. As far as I'm concerned I have my whole life ahead of me. People grow on me and while she may like you quite a bit, she may be looking at it like I am. And there's another reason, too.

As women, we are ALWAYS told that if you make yourself too available to a man who's courting you, you'll lose your appeal. So, we don't make ourselves that available and employ delayed response tactics to heighten the heart-pounding. We have a saying where I'm from: He who runs away, is chased. And you've proven that. She's got you all anxious.

I have no idea whether she'll call back, but this may be one explanation as to why she isn't just yet. And I wouldn't call her again so soon, just wait a bit longer and be patient. Good things really do come to those who wait.

[ISneezeFunny]

Oof. A call the day after... bad form.

Don't you know the 3 day rule?

[talaniman]

As many have learned the hard way, after a good faith effort, move on and don't dwell on what if, no matter how impressed with her you are. Just as you had a good time with her, you can have a good time with another. What makes it hard is coping with our feelings and filling in the blanks with questions and assumptions. Stay away from those mind games, and deal with the hand you have, which is your young, single, and free, to do whatever you chose.

"If you can't be with the one you love.....................Love the one your with!!!!" 70's love song.

[xxsamxx110]

Give it time. She might just be busy. Oh and personally from a woman's view, if a guy didn't contact me within the week I'd think he wasn't intersted. Leave it a couple of days and then just a short message maybe with an actual date next week for her to think about and confirm. Good luck

[JBeaucaire]

After 2 and half years, I bet luck is no longer needed and this resolved long ago.