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    sam236's Avatar
    sam236 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 2, 2008, 12:03 PM
    Are we meant to be
    My boyfriend is very self centered, he is always talking about himself and he doesn't take others feelings into consideration before he says things, sometimes saying hurtful things. I have been dating him for 10 months now, he is 21 I am 27. So there's an age difference too. He is very critical of me too. Always telling me he doesn't agree with the way I parent, that he could do it better and telling me in a nice way that I am lazy and stuff, which in fact I have depression, which lowers my motivation. I think we are not meant for each other but how do I know for sure
    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 23,796, Reputation: 2674
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    #2

    Feb 2, 2008, 12:24 PM
    If you feel you are taking exception to his criticism, then I don't think you two will last very long unless you can sit down with him and tell him just what it is you don't like him to criticize.
    Marriedguy's Avatar
    Marriedguy Posts: 474, Reputation: 115
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    #3

    Feb 2, 2008, 12:25 PM
    I don't believe a couples are meant for each other or not. Sounds like your boyfriend is a jerk if he says things that hurt your feelings this is not a healthy relationship. Verbal abuse is the blueprint for physical abuse.
    Sand Daddy's Avatar
    Sand Daddy Posts: 95, Reputation: 14
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    #4

    Feb 2, 2008, 12:41 PM
    My wife would lich me if I pulled that on her... If it feels wrong, it just might be.
    peggyhill's Avatar
    peggyhill Posts: 907, Reputation: 150
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    #5

    Feb 2, 2008, 01:39 PM
    If it feels wrong, chances are it's wrong. If he insults you, makes you feel bad, then you should find someone you can be happy with. If you have depression, it is probably making it even worse, and that isn't what you need. I would say, break it off and find someone better than this guy, because it sounds like he doesn't deserve you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Feb 2, 2008, 05:53 PM
    If your love, overrides your common sense, and lets you be verbally abused, then you aren't in love. You just think you are, and use the love as an excuse to not stand up for yourself, and that ain't love, and is so unhealthy.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #7

    Feb 2, 2008, 06:10 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    If your love, overrides your common sense, and lets you be verbally abused, then you aren't in love. You just think you are, and use the love as an excuse to not stand up for yourself, and that ain't love, and is so unhealthy.
    Have to spread the rep
    Exactly! And it only gets worse.
    BrownSugarWebster890's Avatar
    BrownSugarWebster890 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Feb 2, 2008, 06:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by sam236
    My boyfriend is very self centered, he is always talking about himself and he doesnt take others feelings into consideration before he says things, sometimes saying hurtful things. I have been dating him for 10 months now, he is 21 i am 27. So theres an age difference too. He is very critical of me too. Always telling me he doesnt agree with the way i parent, that he could do it better and and telling me in a nice way that i am lazy and stuff, which infact i have depression, which lowers my motivation. I think we are not meant for eachother but how do i know for sure
    I think deep down he loves you he just wants to try his best
    And if he loves you he is always trying to impress xx
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #9

    Feb 2, 2008, 06:20 PM
    Critical isn't impressing. Putting her down is belittling her to impress his own ego.
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #10

    Feb 2, 2008, 06:45 PM
    Without looking at the relationship, I can almost immediately assume that the guy's a bit too immature for you.
    victoriarose's Avatar
    victoriarose Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #11

    Feb 2, 2008, 07:00 PM
    Well I think if someone loves you they should treat you with respect not try to discourage you.. You don't need that. I think the longer you stay with him the way he talks you down will only get worse. My advice would be to break it off I went through this myself before.. There are plenty of fish in the sea that can treat you the way you deserve to be treated..

    I hope everything works out for you. Keep your head up :)
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #12

    Feb 3, 2008, 05:53 AM
    I suggest you communicate your feelings to him, and let him know his critism of you will not be tolerated, and stick to your guns.
    Rachel005's Avatar
    Rachel005 Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Jan 21, 2009, 08:33 PM

    The whole parenting thing that's so out of line and if he's going to critasize anyone on anything he should be doing it to other people not you at all.
    It seems to me that he's not helping you he's just hurting you it doesn't seem healthy. Think about if he makes you better then decide what to do
    batman76's Avatar
    batman76 Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Jan 21, 2009, 09:40 PM

    Your boyfriend is a dumb ,how could he treat the women he love like that,there is plenty fish in the sea,get out of that relationship before you get to dip ,you will find someone the is right for you.Good luck
    NewYork123's Avatar
    NewYork123 Posts: 67, Reputation: 8
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    #15

    Jan 21, 2009, 10:06 PM

    If you look and reread the question you asked, can you honestly say that what you have written looks like love? Love is NONE of those things. And he is way too immature for you.. you deserve so much better and you should tell him to get lost immediately. I know it will be so hard, but once you get past the hard part you will be SO very happy that you did.

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