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    LoveJones's Avatar
    LoveJones Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 1, 2008, 04:16 PM
    Should I ask her out?
    This girl that works at the bank I go to, I am very attracted to. She never really showed much attention to me until a friend of mine (my buddys girlfirend) asked her if she had a boyfriend,. she said yes. Then my friend told her a friend of hers (me) thinks she is very attractive and where I work. This girl I am referring to already knew where I work so I assume she knows its me. So after my friend put it out there... this banker girl struck up conversation with me out of nowhere the next time I went in, which was a week later... which for me was huge because I barely got a hello from her before all this. The thing is, I work at a bar and was wondering if I should extend a friendly invite for her to come in for a drink and see what happens? (however she supposedly has a boyfriend) what are my options here without being "that guy" who comes in between a relationship.
    Princess-IMYM's Avatar
    Princess-IMYM Posts: 239, Reputation: 6
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    #2

    Feb 1, 2008, 04:23 PM
    Why don't you ask if she and her "boyfriend" want to go for a drink with you and your friends, that way it'll seem like a group outing than a date. At least then you can be friendly without causing conflict if she does have a boyfriend.
    However if it turns out she doesn't, invite her again, just the two of you.
    PopcornSunshineKisses's Avatar
    PopcornSunshineKisses Posts: 60, Reputation: 4
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    #3

    Feb 1, 2008, 05:45 PM
    Well are you sure she has a boyfriend?
    And OK your attracted to her Become her friend then :) ask her to go for the drink
    That's just being Friendly its not like your asking her too go on a date with you or anything too serious
    CFZD's Avatar
    CFZD Posts: 385, Reputation: 49
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    #4

    Feb 1, 2008, 05:51 PM
    Cute! I think you should ask her out.
    Sand Daddy's Avatar
    Sand Daddy Posts: 95, Reputation: 14
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Feb 1, 2008, 06:00 PM
    Girls throw the BF word out there to scare off the scum. I would ask her if she has a BF, if she says no, ask her out. If she says yes, invite them both. At the very least you stand to make 2 new friends!
    justcurious55's Avatar
    justcurious55 Posts: 4,360, Reputation: 790
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    #6

    Feb 1, 2008, 11:15 PM
    I'd talk to her a few more times. Then figure out a way to casually bring up where you work (it doesn't matter if she already knows or not) and maybe invite her to bring some of her girlfriends by with her sometime. Then you'll have chance to get ot know her more but you won't run the risk of seeming too forward.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Feb 2, 2008, 10:21 AM
    She is unavailable, and getting your feelings all worked up, with false hope is not healthy.
    what are my options here without being "that guy" who comes in between a relationship
    Invite her and her friends to the bar, but have no expectations for more. What if she shows up with her b/f?? How would you feel then?? Hope they tip good. Me I direct my attentions elsewhere.
    Brandino747's Avatar
    Brandino747 Posts: 53, Reputation: -2
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    #8

    Feb 3, 2008, 07:04 AM
    Yes yes yes yes do it.

    The fact is unless she is absolutley confident (which most women are not confident in this area) she will not ask you out. You have to make the move. A none threatening one like asking her to swing by your work for a drink is a good one.

    Act lighthearted and it should work.
    RustyJenkins's Avatar
    RustyJenkins Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #9

    Feb 3, 2008, 11:47 AM
    Yes, try a "friendly" casual invite. She showed no interest before because of her being involved in a relationship, but then she found out you like her, now it opened up an opportunity. She may not be happy in her current relationship, or it is a sign to tread carefully. Get to know her better and figure out what is going on before you go take the next step.
    drali77's Avatar
    drali77 Posts: 127, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #10

    Feb 3, 2008, 01:52 PM
    Nice guys finish last aggressive guys rules the world forget about her boyfriend I think she hasn't got one or she want to start a new relationship that's why she is interested be a man ask her girls like confident man for your information
    In Cambodia "woman walk behind their mans"!
    Have fun
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #11

    Feb 3, 2008, 06:34 PM
    There is no rule against asking any single female out. Period. Whether they have a boyfriend or not. She determines her reality with her next response.

    If a better guy comes along and asks YOUR girlfriend out, be ready to lose her. Be the best you can be to reduce this threat, but the only thing that elminates it is a wedding ring. And some girls don't understand commitment enough to stop shopping THEN! Ugh.

    Anyway, I digress. Ask her to a public even at your bar so she can run into you at your work. Give her some free tickets to something you're going to, see if she brings her boyfriend or a girlfriend or comes alone.

    Or better, just flirt her a little more blatantly, go into the bank more often, make $1 deposits so she knows you're just coming in to see her. Have some fun with it. Make her laugh several times before you even ask her out the first time.
    drali77's Avatar
    drali77 Posts: 127, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #12

    Feb 4, 2008, 02:27 AM
    I suggest take her to coffee shop or bar no I said no dinners no expensive gifts be yourself confident don't try to be like a magician showing card tricks or behaving what you are not
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
    Ultra Member
     
    #13

    Feb 4, 2008, 01:17 PM
    Find out if she really does have a boyfriend.

    If she does, she's off limits, Darlin. You really don't need the pain of going down that road. Trust me. If you go into this knowing that she has a boyfriend, you open yourself up to the same situation a year down the road when you're together and she sees another hot guy in the bank.

    If she doesn't (she could be just saying she does so that she has an "out" when people ask), then you've got nothing to lose! Go for it! :)

    Good luck!

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