[iceman18]

I have been seeing this girl and found out we are going to have a child. She said she doesn't want to be with me anymore. Is this just a phase of pregnancy?:(

[justcurious55]

It could be. Hormones can make us crazy. Or maybe she means it. In any case, for the child's sake, stick around at least as friend if nothing more and do whatever you can to support your chid, financially and emotionally.

[lacuran8626]

Who knows. She may be seeing you as the cause of the current fix she's in. Ask her what you can do to be of support and let her know you intend to take a role as the father, whether with her or on a separate schedule. Determine what resources you can offer to help financially with the pregnancy and the child's expenses.

Talk is cheap in times like this. If you really want to be in her life, I'm afraid to say you have to show her that you are there instead of promising you will be there. This will be an important thing to show her parents and friends as well.

Offer to go to the doctor appointments with her, and when she's ready for maternity clothing, offer to take her shopping and give her a set amount of money that you will spend. Start a savings account for the baby, and show her the passbook. Start saving for baby expenses and give her a written account of what you can contribute.

If you are a teenager, see what your parents are willing to do to help both of you to raise the baby. If you don't know what she wants to do, ask her. Maybe she wants to give the baby up for adoption or is considering terminating the pregnancy. Be open to her wishes and talk them through - don't try to steam roll her.

And even if you feel you've done nothing wrong, apologize to her for your part in her being pregnant. Apologize to her parents, as well, and admit that while you don't have the answers you want to do the right thing and would appreciate them helping you figure out what exactly that is.

If she really doesn't want you in her life, register with the state so that you will have rights as a father when the baby is born. This isn't something you can do in every state, but some have a presumed father's registry which requires that they make sure that you don't have rights to the child (with a paternity test or whatever) before the child can be placed for adoption with someone else.

Talk to a lawyer, and your family and make a plan you can live with, understanding that this is a huge responsibility.

[Michelle Miller]

HI,

Just curious how old are you and your girlfriend. Why don't you sit down and talk to her. Ask her if she can tell you what is going on. How come she no longer wants to see you. She will probably tell you why. Are you two teens maybe she is scared. If you had the choice what would you like to do about the baby? I hope that she doesn't want to abort there are so many people out there that would love to adopt. ( me included) Anyway get back with us and we will help you figure it out.

Love,
Michelle