[e_joyfriend2001]

Why is it that when we find the love of our life, we don't know any other life or way? I honestly know that I have found the love of my life but I don't think after 2 kids and almost 4 years later that there is any hope for the 2 of us? Unless something drastically changes. I have tried and tried all I can to work it out, hold onto love and him and pray for us not only as parents but as a couple to only grow stronger. Maybe this is God getting back at me for doing it all backwards. I am a Christian and I do believe in him with all my heart but I wonder why sometimes. If and when I do leave this will be the utmost hardest thing for me and most of all it will my worst fear. What do you do to get through to someone that you are a person to and that you need acknowledgments also. There is so much that couples have to do to keep their relationship going but to me communication and loving words to one another on a regular basis helps A lot!! I know from that one way communication won't get you anywhere. I feel so much distance from him that I have nothing but bad thoughts about how he truly feels about me. I see on his myspace page that he talks about everyone else except for me. I am not included and that really hurts. It's sad that all I do is talk about him and the beautiful 2 boys that he gave me. I shouldn't be sorry but you can tell that I have been pretty absorbed in only him and the boys. With no reassuring words or thoughts to comfort me about the way he feels towards me, I tend to think and hold in that there is either someone else or he is still in-love with someone from the past. Either one is devastating to know. I want to know but then I don't. Has he been in contact with someone else, I want to say yes. He doesn't have the time to do anything else but work, that is what he tells me. But he does have enough down time to talk with other people on the phone or his laptop that he takes with him. I guess he boils down to that I have never really trusted him from the start... I knew there was something about him that I could never put my finger on and maybe this is it. He has never given me his whole self for me to totally trust him. He has told me before that he doesn't trust me. Well it could be of an ex-girlfriend and/or he doesn't trust himself to trust anyone else. God only knows what's in his heart. I know I wish I did whether it would be good or bad. :confused:

[EuRa]

Couple's Theorpy. Look into it, suggest it, see what he says. If he's not into it and doesn't want to do it, then yes I'd suspect something.

If he wants to try it out, then do it. That way, you'll know there's nobody else, and you'll know he really does care for you and want to be with you, and is willing to make things work.

[e_joyfriend2001]

I have seen conversations of him and his ex-girlfriend on his myspace... they just had one today as a mater of fact. She says she is happily married with 3 kids. But they sure do like to bring up the past and tell each other they love each other. I don't know if I should let him know that I know or not say anything for awhile.

[EuRa]

I still suggest couples theorpy. It sounds like he's confused or unsure about his current status in life, and is looking for any reason to be excited or happy again.

If he really cares, then he'll make an effort to reconcile with you. If he doesn't care, then he won't try, and you should form your support group (friends & family) and get rid of him asap.

Also, it would help to know your age. Are we dealing with under 30 or over 30 here?

[e_joyfriend2001]

I am 25 and he is 31.

[EuRa]

OK, old enough to be mature about this. I'm not saying you NEED to go to couple's theorpy, but you should just at least suggest it, and support your reasoning for going. If he thinks about it or talks about it, then that should give you a sign that he wants to work things out with you. If he flat out shuts you up or says no, or says "things are just fine, you are over-reacting" or some other bologna excuse, and just doesn't give a damn, that's a sign he doesn't want to try to make things work, and a bigger sign that he's already moving in another direction.

Let's not forget about the kids. You want them to grow up in a loving home. You have to do what's right, and you have to act NOW before time just goes by and it becomes too late to change.

[txpriss26]

I don't have an answer for you necessarily however I'm going through a very similar situation in regards to my relationship, or former relationship as of YESTERDAY. However, I am not married to him nor have I had his children. However, he has a blackberry and he receives calls, text messages and emails at all hours. He has a myspace page and he does the Same thing you are talking about. He never even proclaimed our "status" on this site and he doesn't seem to care. He only claims that myspace is a silly thing to get upset about. However, he also has nothing but a bunch of "loose" looking women that he's friends with. He only placed me at #4 friend on his buddy list recently. This may sound trite however it did bother me. Next thing you know, I found his profile on Match.com. I just went and registered a username and password and there he was, active in the last week. Of course he only told me that this was a profile from a long time ago. They kept sending emails to him about updating his profile so he just changed the photos apparently. He never expressed his feelings to me and of course he had trust issues with me too! I was always bending over backwards just to keep the peace. I was so in love and I would have done anything for him. I moved in with him a few months ago and I actually moved out yesterday. I don't know what to expect and I'm totally devastated. However, family or not, I can imagine how you feel and it's very painful. You are not alone and if this relationship doesn't work for you, you have two beautiful miracles that did come out of your relationship. I have nothing to show for mine and all the time, energy and love I poured out of my soul to give to this man. Best of luck!