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IUPcjb · Jan 22, 2008, 09:15 AM

I am a 21 year old college student who has been in a relationship with this girl for a year and 1 month. It started that she was in love with me and I loved her but wasn't in love with her. We had a great relationship and did everything together and I eventually now have grown to be in love with her. However, a week ago today I was over at her house and we got into a conversation and she told me that for the past month or so she has been very messed up in the head and confused about how she feels about me. She went on to say she needed some time to figure things out. So I gave her a few days but I was left with so many questions so we got together to talk some more this past Friday. I wrote her an in-depth letter about how I feel about her and we talked for about an hour and she told me that she still loves me very much but that she isn't sure if she is "in love" with me anymore. She told me that the last thing this is about is another guy and that she doesn't want this time to meet other people, just to figure everything out. There is no reason for me to even begin to think it is another guy. She also said that she doesn't want to break up just that she wants some time. So over this weekend she went to visit one of her girlfriends who goes to another college with all her roommates and I haven't talked to her or anything since then but I did leave a message on her voicemail last night around 10 pm checking to see if she got back OK and how her weekend was but she hasn't called me back yet. All of this was just so sudden and I am now so confused about what I am supposed to do. I love her more than anything and I honestly can't imagine my life without her. I know that she felt the same about me at one point and I feel deep down that we both know we were meant for each other. I know that I just need to leave her space otherwise I will drive her away but it is just so hard. I would do anything for her and I need her in my life but I just wish I could make her understand all of this. These past few days have just been so rough for me and I am writing all this in hopes and someone can help me figure out what to do.

madaman · Jan 22, 2008, 10:43 AM

I don't have time to give a detailed reply just yet, but I seriously suggest you go and read some of the other threads/questions asked here. You will be surprised at how many of them were the same situation as yours, and you can read how they turned out.

At least you know that you will drive her away if you don't give her her space, and I guarantee that is true.

talaniman · Jan 22, 2008, 11:12 AM

I know that I just need to leave her space

That's all you have to do, and read the links in my signature, for some great suggestions.

confused25 · Jan 22, 2008, 11:33 AM

Here is exactly what you do: (1) leave her alone until she calls you; and (2) get rid of the mindset that you can convince her that you two are "meant for each other" because you can't and trying to do so will only make things worse.

As much as it sucks you just need to wait for her to make up her mind. In the meantime try to keep your sanity by staying busy. Things may or may not work out so hope for the best and prepare for the worst.