[mindybee]

My son just turned 18 and his girl friend is turning 16. He is with her every day; He gets to her house after school until 10pm and midnight on the weekends. He only spends time with her. He comes home to sleep and get money. I am feeling used and up set. Should I make him spend time with us? Should I stop giving him money? I don't know what to do it feels out of control, but maybe it's me. He is planning to move out of state with this family after graduation which I believe could be the worst thing he could do. The father works out of state and when he comes around the parents fight. The mom is crazy. We don't get along. She is very nice and friendly up front but lies and is compulsive. One night she got into a fight on the phone with the husband and started packing the kids in the car to move away. My son’s girlfriend was very up set said she pushed her through her phone across the room. She ended up at my house were the police were called. The mom said I was trying to kidnap her daughter. It was a big mess and I haven’t talk to the mother since. She told my son and his girlfriend that she didn’t like me. I personally don’t care, she is crazy. I feel like maybe she is trying to replace my son with her son who left home a few years ago because there were fighting. I need help I don’t know what to do if there is anything I can do! Please help me!
Mindy

[alyssarox32]

This is normal behaviour for a teenager, ecspecially since he just turned 18. He wants to feels free and grown-up so of course he is never going to be home. Trust me though, he loves you and is not using you. He just knows that you are the one to turn to in a needy situation because after all, you are his mother. Enjoy you're freedom a bit now!

[lolly13]

Personally I think you should talk to him about how you feel it can only help you to relax but still he is a teenage boy and you should be glad that he is with his girlfriend all the time it means that he is learning the meaning of "love" and heart ach when my brother turned 18 his girlfriend came over to our house (he turned 18 about 4 years ago) and that was great fun for us all cause my mum was never at home and his dad was never at home so we had the hous eot our self and you shouldn't be surprised if your son stays with this girl for many more years to come cause my brother is still with that same girl for almost 5 years so just say thanks and good luck

[Momma to three]

As the mom of a son who is 22 and a daughter who is 18, as well as a daughter who is 15, I can tell you that it could always be worse. My daughter turned 18 two weeks ago today, and moved out that same day. She's dropped out of school, she doesn't have a job, and she's just moving from house to house, mooching off other people. She's determined to "be an adult," but she's certainly not acting like one.

Your son is still going to school, even if he is spending all his free time with his girlfriend. It is natural for a teen to want to spend more time with peers than with family, as part of the process of gaining independence. Just continue to be there for him, and for his girlfriend if she needs your support again.

As for his moving out of state with them after graduation, that may just be a hard lesson that you have to let him learn as an adult. You can't stop him, so just tell him your objections and concerns, let him make the decision, and if he chooses to go, let him know that you'll be there for him if he ever needs you.

[J_9]

Everyone else is on target here, so I won't repeat what was already brought up. Rather, I'll address the money issue you asked about.

STOP giving him money. He is 18 and able to have a job. If he wants money, he works for it.

[N0help4u]

I agree with everyone too. My 2 daughters and one son "turned adult" and joined the service. I wish my son who is in Germany and Iraq had moved in with a girlfriend instead cause it scares me.
My other son is home with me and insists he is an adult but refuses to be responsible with anything but bills.
You do need to tell him that since he wants adult decisions he needs adult responsibility so make his own money.
Kids do have a tendency to want the best of each world when transitioning 18 to early 20's.
I know some that never grow up and still living off mom and dad well into their 40's.
Right now if you don't let him make his own mistakes he could move with them and have resentment toward you causing real problems in your relationship. You can give him your blessings and at the same time tell him you do not condone his decision but you are there for him.

[mmillan]

Thank you for all that good advice. I have a 17 year. Old who is with his girlfriend 24/7. I worry that maybe I'm not putting my foot down on the situation and that I might seem like a weak parent for allowing him to do as he pleases but I feel like I've lost control over this situation but I see that I'm not alone and sometimes doing nothing and being there for our kids is all they need. Is about them for now and not about us. Tk u so very much

[darkholemania]

My son just turned 18 and his girl friend is turning 16. He is with her every day; He gets to her house after school until 10pm and midnight on the weekends. He only spends time with her. He comes home to sleep and get money. I am feeling used and up set. Should I make him spend time with us? Should I stop giving him money? I don't know what to do it feels out of control, but maybe it's me. He is planning to move out of state with this family after graduation which I believe could be the worst thing he could do. The father works out of state and when he comes around the parents fight. The mom is crazy. We don't get along. She is very nice and friendly up front but lies and is compulsive. One night she got into a fight on the phone with the husband and started packing the kids in the car to move away. My sons girlfriend was very up set said she pushed her through her phone across the room. She ended up at my house were the police were called. The mom said I was trying to kidnap her daughter. It was a big mess and I haven't talk to the mother since. She told my son and his girlfriend that she didn't like me. I personally don't care, she is crazy. I feel like maybe she is trying to replace my son with her son who left home a few years ago because there were fighting. I need help I don't know what to do if there is anything I can do! Please help me!
Mindy

Dear Girlfriend, if he is 18 there is not much you can do but pray for his well being.