Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    twinflame2's Avatar
    twinflame2 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 16, 2008, 01:54 PM
    Need closure from Alcoholic Boyfriend so I can feel better
    Every time I tell this story, people look at me like they can't believe how cruel someone could be, but I was hoping someone has dealt with an alcoholic enough to help me out.
    My ex boyfriend, I heard was an alcoholic, but he didn't drink that much around me when we were together. He said he loved me and wanted to live with me ,marry me, etc. called me every day when I couldn't see him, we were making plans together for the future (that he pushed for really) Then he started not coming to see me as often and I heard he was getting "bad" again. Now we talked on the phone everyday... but - you ready for this - one night had his 21-year-old daughter answer his phone (and her friends too) pretending to be another woman answering his phone. She also private called me and tried to act like she was another woman also. Any way, my ex boyfriend, never broke up with me himself, he never has called after that to say I'm sorry or to tell me what happened. I tired to call. I wrote letters for closure. He lives with his parents, who wouldn't put him on the phone either, even when I told them he should talk to me himself and tell me what happened. I heard he has turned it around and made me to look like I called too much, I'm a stalker. He was seen out and drunk recently talking very loudly about me and laughing at me?? (I'm assuming he is feeling maybe some guilt, since he's talking about me?? ) It has been 7 months. I'm doing better but cannot get over this all the way. I have prayed, researched alcoholism, looked on Al-Anon sites...
    Someone, please tell me how I quit feeling like I did something? And also, can the disease just make them do such a cruel thing to someone and they never feel any kind of remorse or guilt to say they're sorry? Will he some day? All I want is one conversation, tell me what happened. I don't understand why he couldn't say anything to me or us remain friends... Oh, so sick of wondering and so sick of crying and feeling bad.
    I know he's sick.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Jan 16, 2008, 02:13 PM
    Alcoholics are so in denial with everything that I doubt you can get him to admit to anything.
    They are alcoholic because they can not deal with issues. Expecting anything from an alcoholic is like an oxymoron.

    Sometimes the best "closure" is being strong within yourself and who you are and realizing that others can't take that away.
    Don't beat yourself up over him it isn't worth it yourself worth is more meaningful than any reasons he could ever possibly give you.
    lovelesspa's Avatar
    lovelesspa Posts: 1,019, Reputation: 127
    Ultra Member
     
    #3

    Jan 16, 2008, 07:07 PM
    I'm really so sorry that you have to had to go through all this. But consider yourself lucky at this point, anyone who would use his family is a louse! When I was you... I ended up still believing, married the guy, prayed, hoped, stalked as you call it... and had four kids, that I alone, ended up supporting in the end. Now that your techinically out of the situation, move your concentration to positive things, your old friends, books, movies, museums, more education, exercise, anything that will move your mind in a positive direction. Forget closure. He has a illness, he won't even think about how you feel, cause he can't. So, please... Move one and consider yourself lucky.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

WHY does my boyfriend feel awkward having phone sex with me? He is 25! [ 20 Answers ]

My boyfriend and I have been together 3years. In the bedroom, he isn't shy AT ALL with me... he is up for ANYTHING! However... phone sex... not that he thinks it's stupid, bt he feels awkward, and doesn't really get into it, and laughs and stuff, than changes the subject. What can I do to make...

I feel like I'm dating my boyfriend and his best friend [ 4 Answers ]

Hello Everyone! This is my first time asking a question,and hopefully you all can help me.:confused: My boyfriend gave me and his house the same time he gave his best friend a key. A few months later I moved in and his friends still has his key. He comes over morning,afternoon, and evening....

Wife of a alcoholic [ 4 Answers ]

My husband is a alcoholic and he has been sober for 2 years now well now he is working on the road and has decided to start drinking how can handle this?

How does my boyfriend really feel? [ 3 Answers ]

I've been on and off with this guy for about a year and rite now, were dating without telling anyone else. Were both in college and he always tells me he wants to keep trying in our relationship, yet I'm not really sure if he does. When were both at our homes durin school breaks, he says that I'm...

Alcoholic forums [ 4 Answers ]

Does anybody know of a good alcoholic forum/chat room?


View more questions Search