[N0help4u]

(Was wondering how you have been)

It is not so much that porn is wrong but the motives and desires of the heart of the person viewing it.
To me SOME signs that it is not good
1. He chooses looking at the porn over quality time with you
2. He wants to 'do things' that you do not want to do (ex: threesomes,. ) , otherwise he finds sex with you is boring.
3. Always comparing and critiquing how it is 'done better' in the porn he viewed
4. As far as the date sites...
Is he just fantasying what he could have if you weren't in the picture?
If he did run across someone he actually wanted to meet would he go through with it?
Is he just keeping you in the pic until something 'more appealing' to him comes along?

[Angelmouse227]

Okay, this one really got me. Dorf, you are amazing. I love what you have with your wife. It's absolutely amazing.

As for the Is Porn Wrong Question. I'm not going to say yes or no, just give some info.

I've been married 3 times.
First husband, big into porn. Almost every time we had sex a porn was on. We were married for 7 months when he tried to hit me. I left got divorced.
Second husband, big into porn. I told him I wasn't interested, he pushed. I did something to make him mad and he would use sex to punish me. I was with him for 7 years, before I realized I was in an unhealthy, abusive relationship.
Third husband, likes porn, but is more interested in it for the humor factor. He likes big busted women so he looks at pictures. I told him I didn't like porn and he said fine. He will look at me sometimes like I'm the only thing in the entire world and he's amazed that I could possibly want him. Porn isn't part of our relationship, it's his hobby (I do crossstitch so, hey why not).
I'm going to ask a different question then is porn wrong. Think about this... What happens when what shocks us is "no big deal" to our kids? What will have to be shown so our children's children are shocked. I'm old enough to remember the first bra commercial where the woman wasn't wearing a shirt and now they are on TV in lingerie.
Porn sends a message, and whether it's wrong or not the message is still there. What is porn saying to people who watch it?

Just to give you something else to think about. I'm 5' tall with shoes on. When my husband and I met my measurements were 40-24-36. I've had to deal with men leering at me since puberty. My father's friends would make passes at me. I learned quickly how to deal with the pervs and wolves. I don't cuss, I don't drink, and I've never done drugs. None of that mattered. Porn shows that sex is nothing special. If a woman has big boobs she has no brains or morals. Believe what you want when it comes to Porn but don't say that it does no harm in moderation. Some of the people here use alcohol as an example. One drink is fine, but if that one drink leads someone to alcoholism, was it really okay?
If you like porn, great. Have fun, if you want to get drunk, great have fun. Both can be dangerous. Both can cause major damage.

Dorf, you are a gem. It's wonderful that your "porn" is mental imagery of you wife. I like to think that's what my husband gets with me. His pictures of Big Busted Women is porn. He knows how I feel about it, and he knows why.

[Angelmouse227]

Synnen,

You have a good point. He's a jerk because he's asking her to do or accept something she doesn't like. If he needs porn to have sex with her, she should have known that from the beginning. It doesn't matter who is trying to force something on whom. If you want something and the other person is not comfortable with it and you keep pushing it, you're a jerk (it's not gender specific).