[SingleMom7105]

:eek: My son is 2 going to be 3 July 1st... he is allergic to Casein which makes it difficult to make hm many things to eat as a lot of stuff has Casein... anyway... he will have MAJOR melt downs, screaming mainly for no reason... he will get himself in trouble and I will tell him no and he will drop to the floor screaming. I would slap his mouth or try talking to him, try picking him up, walk away... no matter what I do he will sit there or in my arms and scream for a good 10-15 minutes... this happens every time I tell him no!

Any ideas?? I don't give in and let him do things just to not hear him scream so he sometimes screams off and on all day long, to say the least its getting really old!:eek:

[Wondergirl]

I suspect this is not your son, but is the allergy reacting. If so, he is powerless to control himself. He is a victim of his own body. Please please please don't slap or yell!

You are going to have to be even more vigilant with what he eats and drinks. And you are going to have to keep a cool head.

For parenting help -- there's a child management book and video (probably DVD too now) called 1-2-3 Magic put together by a child management expert, Thomas Phelan, who has an office near me. Many libraries have copies of this or can get it for you through interlibrary loan. When I worked at Catholic Charities, we used this system in our parenting classes. The parents were always pleased how well it worked--IF they followed the instructions to the letter. Here's a link to his web site:

1-2-3 Magic: Parenting Solutions using Positive Discipline from Dr. Thomas Phelan

But remember, the chemicals shooting around in your son's brain have to be regulated first.

[SingleMom7105]

Thank you, I didn't even think of that, yes he is probably getting more casein then I realize... he isn't like this at all first thing in the morning but is really bad by bed time... I don't slap as much anymore as I learned it doesn't work... I have been trying other things, talking to him, walking from the room ( I don't yell, I won't... seen to many parents do that and won't do it) anyway, I will try being really strict tomorrow and see how he is.

[Wondergirl]

I will try being really strict tomorrow and see how he is.

Strict with his food intake, not strict with him... Remember, the food is the problem.

[SingleMom7105]

Right, I got it thanks

[oneguyinohio]

I don't know if it is the allergy, or just the "terrible twos"

He would get worse by the end of the day due to being tired. You said it happens when you say "No"

What you might be dealing with is his efforts to assert himself. You don't have to give in, but perhaps alternative choices that are acceptable or if he continues he will have a consequence.

[J_9]

It's not the allergy. Casein allergies are VERY rare and the symptoms are as follows:

Type 1 - Symptoms start within minutes of intake of small volumes of CM. Mainly causes skin problems, eczema or urticaria (hives). May have respiratory (runny nose, wheezy chest) or gastro-intestinal (vomiting and diarrhoea) symptoms.

Type 2 - Symptoms start several hours after intake of modest volumes of CM; mostly symptoms of vomiting and diarrhoea.

Type 3 - Symptoms develop after more than 20 hours, or even days after intake of large volumes of CM. Symptoms include diarrhoea, with or without respiratory or skin reactions.


TABLE 1. Symptoms that could indicate a possible milk allergy

* excessive colic
* recurrent diarrhoea
* vomiting, abdominal pain
* excoriated buttocks
* rash, hives and eczema
* chronic runny nose
* nasal stuffiness
* recurrent bronchitis
* recurrent "colds," sinusitis,
* ear infections
* fluid behind ears
* wet and wheezy chest
* coughing
* irritability
* failure to thrive

As found here: Milk Allergy & Intolerance Note that none of the allergies mention discipline problems, they are all physical in nature, not mental.

Sounds like the terrible twos to me.

I can't believe you actually slapped your 2 year old across the face!! That just horrifies me.

Pick him up, put him in his room, and leave him there until he is in a better mood. Never ever attempt to discipline a child when you are not in control of yourself.

And you really think you are ready to adopt another child? Girl, you can't control the one you have already.

[N0help4u]

I agree with the others for the most part. When possible instead of saying N0 try distracting his attention to something else or give him an alternative -but not as a choice. When you try to distract him or give an alternative don't make it sound like a choice. In fact try not to even bring up or nor try to compare whatever he is throwing to fit about.

Also look up omega fatty acid and casein. You will find that it would be a really good idea to have your son taking omega and some B vitamins, especially B6.

Here are some sites with recipes and ideas that you might be able to use

The Gluten Free/Casein Free Diet Experience: Celiac Disease - Another Reason to Read Labels Closely

Casein Free Diet? - Gluten-Free Celiac Disease Forum at Celiac.com (Home)

[SingleMom7105]

I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU!!!!!! you make it sound like i abuse my son... yes i smacked his mouth, that was one finger tapping his lip... it was nothing!! Because of you i am in tears because i don't know what to think...
Yes, my son has a casein allergy, he has type one, read your own quote... plus allergies can cause mental things... i know i have done enough research and talked to enough allergists to know that part of it is for a fact casein, and yes the other part is terrible twos but you make it sound like i am the worst person in the world!!

It's not the allergy. Casein allergies are VERY rare and the symptoms are as follows:

As found here: Milk Allergy & Intolerance Note that none of the allergies mention discipline problems, they are all physical in nature, not mental.

Sounds like the terrible twos to me.

I can't believe you actually slapped your 2 year old across the face!!! That just horrifies me.

Pick him up, put him in his room, and leave him there until he is in a better mood. Never ever attempt to discipline a child when you are not in control of yourself.

And you really think you are ready to adopt another child? Girl, you can't control the one you have already.

[J_9]

How does this

I would slap his mouth

Turn into this?

THAT WAS ONE FINGER TAPPING HIS LIP

You see, if you want us not to be so harsh and non-judgmental, then you have to give us the facts up front. There are many people who think that spanking/smacking are appropriate forms of punishment. How were we supposed to know you were not one of those people just by reading your original post? You made it sound as though you slapped his face and that you felt that was appropriate for his age.

Now, you son is one of the rare cases with this allergy. I never said it never happens, just that it is rare.

Also, raising 4 of my own children, I can tell you that it sounds more like your child is throwing a temper tantrum more than an allergic response.

Temper tantrums are very common in 2 year olds, especially when they don't get what they want or are told "no" when they want to do something. Has nothing to do with allergies, but rather a developmental task that is normal when children of this age are beginning to learn and want a certain amount of independence.

You, as a mother, have to learn the appropriate way to respond. As a mother myself, I have found, with all 4 of my children, that no response from me was the best response during a temper tantrum. Simply walk away, do not yell, do not shout, do not soothe. Simply ignore.

Children of this age have a need for attention. They don't care what kind of attention they get, good or bad, as long as it is attention. If you ignore the bad behavior, i.e. the temper tantrum, they are getting no attention whatsoever, so the bad behavior stops. Reward good behavior with attention and ignore bad behavior such as this.

Now, other forms of bad behavior warrant different actions.

[N0help4u]

Ignoring once they have gotten into a temper tantrum is best because trying to make them stop, even if they aren't doing it for attention sake, is useless because they are not at all focused on your calming them down and it only adds to the confusion and disruption.

[Fr_Chuck]

I am sorry singlemon, but you said that you would "slap his mouth" you did not say tap, you did not say one finger in your post, you said you slap. IF you did not slap him, why did you say you did in the original post.

We only have what you say to go by, So why are you mad at us, for merely repeating what you told us you did??

[nursejackson]

The comments made in this post would have made me think that I am a horrible mother because I spank my child! Yes I do believe in spanking my child after time out hasn't worked. It is the only way to get her attention. I don't beat her! I love my child very much! I don't think the original poster SLAPPED her kid in the mouth she probably popped it to get his attention. I have done that with my daughter because she would bite and I did it in a way to get her attention not to BEAT her. I don't get joy out of beating my child! But don't consider me a bad mother because I spank my child! I don't do it every day! You have no right to judge my parenting or the original posters parenting. There is no PERFECT parenting book out there. Every child is different and different punishments work for different children. JMO

[Wondergirl]

She said she slapped the child's mouth. That was all we were told. She didn't say she spanked the child. Later she said she tapped the child's mouth--but that was later.

We were responding to what she had said. This was not a debate on spanking. That's a different thread.

[oneguyinohio]

The comments made in this post would have made me think that I am a horrible mother

If that is true, you probably shouldn't be reading posts. A person needs to sort through opinions and reason out their actions in a thoughtful manner.

I still think the post was done intentionally to get people fired up... and it seems to be working. Look up trolling on line if you don't think people do that kind of thing intentionally.

The post just has too many issues mentioned that could stir up emotions with people... single parent, slapping child, disabled family member, age issues... and poster did not seem to want to learn or hear others opinions at all.

I wouldn't waste my time on arguing the issues with each other. If you want, start your own thread.

[rpg219]

I agree with J-9... she gave me the same advise a couple of months ago... and guess what... it worked! My son will be 3 in May, so I feel that you are probably dealing with the terrible twos. I was one of those "I spank my child" people until J suggested watching my actions and what his reaction was... spanking equaled him lashing out worse. Now I am dealing with him pointing and telling me to be "Quiet". I as I ignore, it lessens each day. It will not change over night, but will get better little by little.

I would suggest not taking these suggestions as a personal attack. Look deeper into the problem you are having using these suggestions and it will probably start getting better for you in just a matter of months.

Good Luck!

[simoneaugie]

In spite of what the reports and research say, emotional reaction to food allergies is very real. Your son may have other allergies as well. Allergies are additive. If there is a pollen in the air that bothers him a bit, it is adding to the casein allergy.

[Momma to three]

PLEASE don't slap your son across the face anymore... no human being deserves to be hit, other than in self-defense. I know from personal experience that it can be frustrating to deal with tantrums, but hitting is not the way to make them stop. At his age, it's better to distract him... give him a couple of choices of appropriate, acceptable activities, so that he can fell independent by making the choice, but can still be safe.

Since you say that he is doing this EVERY time... is it possible that he's getting some sort of payoff from it? Do you give in sometimes, or do you pay more attention to him when he has a tantrum than when he doesn't? For the next couple of days, try to concentrate on the GOOD behavior rather than the bad... compliment him on every time he listens, every good thing he does... and be really low key about any mistakes or bad behavior.

[talaniman]

2-3 year olds will try to get what they want, with fits and tantrums, its important to never react as this will only encourage them to act out later, in public no doubt. Once they learn it doesn't work, they stop. We did this with ours, and the grandkids, it works. As for allergies becareful as they will have many, but pay attention to more than behavior, and you will see when the problem is medical, or behavior. On a forum such as this, its important to be precise with your wording, so there can be less misunderstandings in the future. Good luck with them terrible two's, and now you know why they call it that. All parents go through them.