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denice · Jan 12, 2008, 04:09 PM

I have a handicap sister who lives with me. Nobody has ever gone to court over who is in charge of her. She has lived with me for seven years now. Now I have this older crazy sister. She has filed to be her guardianship and if not she wants to control her check. So we go to chansore court. The judge says she has to get a check up to see if she is compatient and my crazy sister can call her once a week. My handicap sister is real upset and has told the guarding of litem. My handicap sister does not want to talk or see her. My older sister was abusive to my handicap sister. Of course she denies it. So I am going to hire a lawyer next week. But my handicap sister wants to go and stay with our brother in fl because she says she is sick when she has to talk to her. If she leaves what kind of trouble will she be in. and will they take her s.s. check. I fell like I am the one abusing her making her do these phone calls. Thank you for the help .

twinkiedooter · Jan 12, 2008, 04:38 PM

The guardian ad litem was a good start to tell regarding the crazy sister's actions. The social security disability check will follow you sister regardless of where she lives. This money is for her benefit and no one else's. If she is mentally disabled, then the person receiving the money on her behalf has to fill out the monthly report. If you receive the check in your name for her benefit, you can go to the social security local office and do the paperwork there to transfer her check to her brother in Florida to distribute and do the monthly reports. I assume you have been the one doing the monthly reports. The attorney will make up the proper paperwork and submit it to the judge so that she can move to Florida with your brother if that is where she wants to live if she is underage. She does not have to speak to her sister on the phone if she does not want to.

You did not say how old sis is or her disability.

denice · Jan 12, 2008, 05:09 PM

My sister is 53. Her handicap is she is retarded or mentalley slow. I am not sure. She knows what she wants to do. And is OK. We just try not to let any one abuse her. I just want to make sure she will not get arrested for going to fl. I do not think she would be because she would not be under tn law if she is not here. But she was court ordered to talk to her crazy sister. I also told the ad litem my sisters blood pressure was up 50 points. She does not want to leave here. She just does not want to talk to her crazy sister

twinkiedooter · Jan 12, 2008, 05:26 PM

You said no one was her guardian at this point and she was just living with you for 7 years. Whose name is the ss check in? Does it come to you in your name for her benefit? She will not get arrested if she goes to Florida and stays with brother as this is a civil matter and not a criminal matter.

If she does talk on the phone have it be very short and very sweet and then hang up. This way bad sis can't run to judge and say she's not complying with court order making her case stronger for guardianship. She does not need to be tormented like that with blood pressure out of this world. Not good.

She needs to be far away from her asap in my opinion. She would not be arrested in Florida as your sister would have to file any paperwork in Florida and that would be expensive to fight something long distance.

Go see the attorney asap before bad sis gets guardianship and makes your other sister's life a living hell. Are you sure you are not her guardian having cared for her for those 7 years in your home?

Be sure not to sign anything at social security over to bad sis unless judge orders you to do this. Remember that money is for good sister's benefit, not bad sis to control or benefit from.

denice · Jan 12, 2008, 06:10 PM

The check comes to me in care of her. It is hers. I do not want her to have to report to my bad sister for her money. I can sign the check over to my brother. He would also do right by her. She has lived with me. But I never ask to be her guardian though the court. I felt she was doing fine and as long as she is not stressed she seems to function well. She visits can drive a golf cart she can shop. I just watch her so no one can abuse her. That is why I am fighting with bad sister. Thank you for your help.

denice · Jan 12, 2008, 06:22 PM

Her check comes in my name for her does that mean I probably am her guardian

Fr_Chuck · Jan 12, 2008, 06:28 PM

No, you are not her guardian, unless the court has issued you a court order naming you her guardian.

They may assume you are, or at some point, you were put on as a care taker or something. Was there ever any legal status of her guardianship when she turned 18.

denice · Jan 12, 2008, 06:38 PM

She lived with my mother who passed away eight years ago. She stayed with my brother for away. Then she came and stayed with me and never left. My mother left a trust and told me in it to take care of her and that is what I gave s.s. I really did assume all this time I was her helper I never went to court. Because she can decide things for her self she just needs help to live in this world

twinkiedooter · Jan 12, 2008, 07:18 PM

The fact that your mom had a trust that mentioned you to take care of her is another matter. Do you still have the paperwork from the trust? Take that to the attorney's office when you visit as this could very well be the "key" to helping your sister escape the guardianshp of bad sis.

denice · Jan 12, 2008, 07:45 PM

I do not remember a lot when my mother died I do remember the lawyer saying take the trust to s.s. and I did I looked all over for it I will go to s.s. they should have a copy if not I quess I will be going to fl. Ad litem said they would give her to me. So that is not the problem. I would like to stay. But it is to stessful for my handicap sister. And I want what is best for her. If I stress her and she stroke. Nobody would help. Thank you guys for the help

twinkiedooter · Jan 12, 2008, 08:12 PM

You are most welcome denice. Good luck on your trip to sunny Florida. You are a good sister.

oneguyinohio · Jan 12, 2008, 08:33 PM

I would also look into the area of getting a lawyer familiar with the A.D.A. (American's with Disabilities Act of 1990)

I think the court was wrong to order your sister to talk to anybody she does not want to. That is a severe violation of her rights!

You should get a lawyer and fight in your state, for guardianship as well. Your sister has a right to choose who she wants and I don't see where you would have problems being awarded the title.

Let the judge know that your sister feels that the other sister was abusive in the past. He can talk with her or have it put in the Guardian ad Litem... they should be talking to your disabled sister about these issues... often people with disabilities are treated as objects and not included in things that affect them.

As far as the social security, I think you are just a payee or money handler for her which is not the same as guardian.

See if you can get doctor to sign that her blood pressure has gone up under the situation, but that might be difficult because doctors often will not want to get involved in legal issues.

denice · Jan 12, 2008, 09:09 PM

Well I called my brother and we are going to send her to fl. This made her happy. I thought it was awful that she is court ordered to talk to her mean sister. She has no problem calling and talking on the phone to everybody else. My sister is very mean and we told them that but she is very polished and I am not. They would not talk to my handicap sister. She can talk and would have told them. You are right they do treat them like objects. The doctor did give me a paper. We gave it to the ad litem lady and she said to put her on blood pressure medicine. She will get use to talking to the mean sister. I was just worried about sending her to fl. And the judge putting out a bench warrant. When she did not call and they found out she was gone. I always told my handicap sister she could call who every she wanted I never stopped her. She just does not like her mean sister.

denice · Feb 2, 2008, 07:22 AM

Well I just wanted to let everyone know that she is in fla. Very happy. Thank you guys for the help

oneguyinohio · Feb 2, 2008, 09:41 AM

Still not sure what would prevent the "bad" sister from filing for guardianship. I'm not sure that her change of residence will stop the "bad" sister from continuing with such efforts. I wonder if you should consider having a joint guardianship filed between you and your brother with her permission in the state of Florida. The guardianship might not have to be total, but spell out exactly what decisions or duties you two will perform for her. You also might be able to set it up so that it takes effect only if she is determined to be incompetent to handle her own affairs. Hopefully this will prevent any possible negatives from happening in the future. In the event of something happening to you and your brother, you could even designate a line of people who would follow. Something just tells me that the "bad" sister isn't going to be discouraged so easily.

bushg · Feb 2, 2008, 09:57 AM

denice I am gald this has worked out so far. But your brother or someone really needs to get guardianship over her. My family has a bad situation with a mentally disabled uncle and it would be so much easier if someone would have taken guardianship over him. Then we would be able to speak up for him and the courts would have to communicate with us instead of trying to understand him.

denice · Feb 2, 2008, 12:01 PM

You are right my bad sister has gotten very very bad. Taken her to fl. Is just a pit stop. She would have to file in the courts down there. My brother down there is a retired police officer. And my son is a captain in the service and a principal. They have seen my bad sisters actions in person. Up here she is bringing charge after charge on me. My lawyers said it would all be dropped. And I can sue for harrasement. But if my handicap sister had stayed and be declared incompataint the fight would have been hard. Right now she is a free soul. We never bothered the handicap sister. We all pitched in. my bad sister is a doctor who went out on a mental evalution. And plays the poor victim real well. But soon her lies will catch up tp her. My handicap sister can speak and does. But no one would listen.

denice · Feb 2, 2008, 02:16 PM

I have a new question. Bad sister will call at 4.00 maybe Monday. She has not called in two weeks. Do I have to answer

N0help4u · Feb 2, 2008, 03:56 PM

You need to have your brother stick up for you and your sister. He is a retired cop so he should have some good credibility with the court.
Your sisters check goes where ever she goes.
How much contact has your sister been having through the years up until now?
You may be able to use that as not showing concern for your disabled sister.
Your 'bad sister' may have just come up with the idea of wanting her for the $$$$ signs.

denice · Feb 2, 2008, 04:31 PM

My brother will protect her no matter what. The reason my bad sister wants her. Is because she has no one else. She just plain to mean. And my handicap sister she can control. And then we will have to see her in order to see my handicap sister. My brother stands good with town down there. I already signed the check over to him. We all get along. There are seven of us. But nobody will talk to my mean sister any more. Because she is sneaky and lies. So you can never have trust there. I tried to let my mean sister see her for about 2 hours a week. But she would drink and drive. Give her pills. When I found out. I stop it right then and there. But my mean sister tells the court we pick on her. And the courts do not know what is going on because my mean sister thows up a lot of confusing things and plays the victum well. My handicap sister says she will not come back until my mean sister is dead. Do you know if I have to tell anyone. Because the judge court ordered me to have my handicap sister talk to my mean sister. And beings she is not here I can not do it. Thank you for any help oh you I thought about written a letter and leaving at the judges work place