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watersos · Jan 9, 2008, 04:02 PM

Hi all, my boyfriend had a call on the cell phone account, 33 minutes so I checked it out and found it was an old girlfriend from school. He said he saw her sister out and she asked for his cell number. The old girlfriend called him and the chatted 33 min! Anyway I was checking out the bill and this time he called her and they talked 23 minutes. This has all taken place in the last 3 weeks. He told me it was innocent and he told her to never call again, that was the first call. I haven't confronted him about call #2. Should I wait to see if anymore calls accrue or just have another confrontation? Any advice?

Romefalls19 · Jan 9, 2008, 04:07 PM

Personally... You're going to drive him away with being this prying into his personal life. You have a right to know things to extent but your pushing boundries and he will eventually tell you this. Its just a conversation over a phone. If he starts with more secret stuff that's a different story. It's not like he lied abut talking to her once you brought it up.. Just ease up a little bit

talaniman · Jan 9, 2008, 08:43 PM

Does he know your snooping through his bills looking for what?? Will you confront him for anything you think is suspicous? No trust no relationship, no communication no relationship, so drop confrontation, and find a better way to ask questions.

watersos · Jan 10, 2008, 09:15 AM

My goodness you are rather rude. First of all it is my bill and of course I am going to look at it. I merely asked for a little advise, your insinuation that I am a suspicious snoop is degrading and I think your answer is idiotic. You should find a better way to answer questions or don't bother at all.

Romefalls19 · Jan 10, 2008, 09:23 AM

He is completely right. I was a jealous boyfriend and look where it got me.. Alone and single from my love. So I know the path you're going too.. I know it well.. Try trusting your guy, we are not all out to cheat on our spouses and contrary to popular believe WE CAN BE FRIENDS WITH GIRLS WITHOUT THINKING WITH THE WRONG HEAD... If he comes home smelling like a woman.. Then flip out, as for now just relax

spitvenom · Jan 10, 2008, 09:24 AM

If it is YOUR BILL with YOUR NAME on it and the check that pays that bill has YOUR SIGNATURE on it then YEAH say something to him, I would. My girlfriends phone is on my account and if I saw some number on there and found out that she was talking to an EX on my dime yeah I would say something.

mraquino21 · Jan 10, 2008, 09:28 AM

Hi watersos, I had been in a real bad relationship actually marriage of 7 years my husband cheated on me among other things so myself esteem was low, I felt like all men cheated and didn't trust very well. I know that is just excuses but it's how I felt. Anyway I met this great guy that had a crazy ex. He lied to me at first about seeing her and talking to her early in our relationship which I confronted him on. So it had been months since they talked he promised me he had told her off and to leave him alone. Well we finally got married on Dec 8th 2007. I was checking our joint phone bill cause I have to use my cell for work and I don't answer calls that I don't recognize well she had looked up my number and called me then the day after christmas she texed him and he showed me. We ended up having a few big fights through out our relationship because I would confront him when I'd see she called and especially after she called me he hadn't been telling me cause he didn't want to fight and I would make him tell me then when he did tell me about the text I blew up. In the end he called her in front of me and left her a message to leave us alone he was happily married and did not want anything to do with her which made me happy. I am now secure in my relationship and don't blow up or snoop even on my own phone bill and he promised if she contacts either one of us again he'll change our numbers and block her. I think you should calmly sit down and explain how you feel but you are not going to snoop, he can let you know what is going on if he truly loves you he is not going to cheat on you but if you press the issue you will drive him away and that goes for any relationship. I learned the hard way this time and almost lost my true love. I hope that you find something in all of this rambling helpful.

watersos · Jan 10, 2008, 09:35 AM

I have confronted him, he said he told her no more calls. He said nothing going on, just talking. I am not a snoop, just those long calls popped out to me on the bill. I have had a few cheating men in my day and it is no fun, especially when you think everything is hunky dorey. I think we have got over this little hump. Thanks everyone I appreciate the input!

mraquino21 · Jan 10, 2008, 09:38 AM

Well I think your doing great. I wasn't calling "you" a snoop I hope you didn't feel that way it's just when I was checking our joint phone bill that I pay I was called a "snoop" I just wanted to clarify that.

watersos · Jan 10, 2008, 10:30 AM

mraquino21, thanks I know you weren't calling me a snoop, I was actually referring to talanimans reply. We are just "curious"

talaniman · Jan 10, 2008, 03:18 PM

First of all it is my bill and of course I am going to look at it.

Sorry you don't see this as pertinet information, which should have been included in the question.

EuRa · Jan 10, 2008, 03:27 PM

Originally Posted by watersos

My goodness you are rather rude. First of all it is my bill and of course I am going to look at it. I merely asked for a little advise, your insinuation that I am a suspicious snoop is degrading and I think your answer is idiotic. You should find a better way to answer questions or dont bother at all.

The only idiotic person is yourself. If it's your bill on your plan, then you should explain that in your initial question. Based on your question alone, Talaniman was 100% correct. Since it's your bill, she obviously wouldn't give that advice, but how was she to know that? You went off on a tangent calling her "rude" and "idiotic", while she was giving the proper advice based on the initial question.

If you are so snappy and judgemental over a simple opinion that someone gave online, I think you have more to worry about than someone making a phone call or two to an ex-girlfriend.

PS - You have every right to know who he called and why, especially if it's your bill. If you asked him to stop, and he said he would, then I hope that's that. If it ever happens again, I'd be suspicious of him.