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deprived · Jan 1, 2006, 06:47 PM

I didn't have a dad when I was small. My first 4 years I had a rough time with my mom. Afterwards, my dad came back. Ever since then they had been going on and off. And now, its coming close to my birthday. My dad has hit me, and he has verbaly abused me. Everyday. Oh, your fat. Your ugly. Stupid. I am so sick of it. I feel like I'm the only one in the world who has this crappy dad. I know, I'm not the only one. But it sure as hell feels like it when I'm getting yelled at from my dad. Im not fat, or ugly. Or stupid. I have a gpa of 3.5. I've gotten accepted into programs that would PAY for my college. And still, he rants on about me. Someone. Please. Tell me you know what I'm going through.

rkim291968 · Jan 1, 2006, 07:03 PM

Originally Posted by deprived

Someone. Please. Tell me you know what im going through.

I know. Hang in there. There are ways to cope.

talaniman · Jan 1, 2006, 08:58 PM

I will assume that your mother is not helping you in this situation,so is there a councelor or teacher at your school you can talk to?Your dad has a problem and I doubt he would listen to any one about seekig help for himself.None of this is your fault and I suspect you'll be leaving for college soon.For now you should talk to a trustd adult about your problem!Good Luck I hope I've helped.:cool:

PrettyLady · Jan 1, 2006, 10:03 PM

Deprived, it must be painful to feel ridiculed by your father when he's supposed to love you unconditionally. Your father sounds like a person who has difficulty expressing loving, caring thoughts and finds it much easier to give criticism. Talk to your dad, tell him that when he calls you names and talks to you the way he does, it makes you feel really bad. If he doesn't stop abusing you, speak to your school counselor.

fredg · Jan 2, 2006, 07:00 AM

Hi, deprived,
I am so sorry to read this. Your Dad is very abusive, and if your Mom is afraid of him, she won't be any help. That's why they are "on and off" as you say.
Others suggested talking with a counselor, which is good advice.
Here is a link:

http://www.childhelpusa.org/report_local.htm

Personally, I would call the Child Abuse organization in your local area. There are phone numbers in your local phone book, or you can look up your state in the above link.
Call a toll-free number and talk with a Professional about it. You do NOT have to put up with Child Abuse from your Father!
He sounds very abusive, and I also wonder if he drinks a lot... maybe not.
Please call a toll-free number, and talk with someone. They can offer you a whole lot of help. I do wish the best of luck.

nymphetamine · Jan 2, 2006, 09:04 AM

All those names your father calls you and stuff he says is probably really how he feels about himself maybe that's things his father said to him and he feels like he's saying it back to his father when he says it to you. Whatever the cause its not your fault and since he probably won't seek any counseling I think you should do as these people have said and make some steps to help yourself. I hope you can get out and leave to college soon.

nwsflash · Jan 2, 2006, 02:58 PM

Im sorry to hear that your father has been treating you like this, as you know this is wrong, and I'm very pleased that at least you know that it is not true.

It sounds like your father has got an anger issue that needs sorting out ASAP, you will probley find that he feels very low about himself or has got issue's that don't seem to be going away, our has major problems in his own life... Its very important that you know that non of the stuff he is saying to you is true!! If he kicks off at you try and walk away to not be in the same room as him and just ignor him till he can act like the adult he is meant to be.

And non of this you are to blame for, he has got issue's not you.

Go seek that advice from teachers or people in your school that you can talk with... I would also go as far as telling your mother too book your father into the doctors and tell them what he has been acting like.

Please keep your head up and be strong, because as a minor you must be going over hell with all that's going on.

orange · Jan 2, 2006, 03:02 PM

I don't have much to add to all the superb advice you've received from others, but I did want you to know that I hated my father too (he is now deceased), and for similar reasons to your own. So I understand what you're going through, and you are definitely not alone! Many people have or have had troubles with their parents like this. Please seek outside help and keep us updated on how you're doing.

nwsflash · Jan 2, 2006, 03:08 PM

Originally Posted by orange

I don't have much to add to all the superb advice you've received from others, but I did want you to know that I hated my father too (he is now deceased), and for similar reasons to your own. So I understand what you're going through, and you are definitely not alone! Many people have or have had troubles with their parents like this. Please seek outside help and keep us updated on how you're doing.

Sound advice

manutd4eva · Jan 2, 2006, 03:11 PM

Hi its good you know these things he says about you are not true just ignore him like other people said that's what I did just used to ignore him until he gave up.

Remember - Its NOT your fault he's the one with the problem not you

nwsflash · Jan 2, 2006, 03:15 PM

Originally Posted by manutd4eva

hi its good you know these things he says about you are not true just ignore him like other people said thats what i did just used to ignore him until he gave up.

Remember - Its NOT your fault hes the one with the problem not you

Could not agree more than with manutd4eva.. Sadly with familys we are born into them, at least with friends we can pick them. Just go with the ignore options.

deprived · Jan 2, 2006, 05:32 PM

I can't go to a counsler. I just can't tell on my dad. I love him so much, even after all he's done. I rememebr one time when my parents where fighting, he threatened to leave. Even after all he's done to me, I said no. I begged him not to leave. I can't take him being mad at me. Me and him got into a fight yesterday, and today I tried talking to him. He ignored me completely. So I just went to my room and cried. :(

manutd4eva · Jan 2, 2006, 05:35 PM

I feel sorry for you and hipe it gets better soon but what you can do is try waiting until he is calm like a different day and then explain to him how you feel about it. Not in an angry way but in a understanding type way.

deprived · Jan 2, 2006, 05:40 PM

He never listens to me. Ive tried so many times to talk to him. He's seen me sitting there, crying. ALl he does is shake his head at me and tells me to stop crying or he'll give me something to cry about.

manutd4eva · Jan 2, 2006, 05:43 PM

I would try asking your mum or write a letter and leave it outside his bedroom before you go to school and when you get back say did you see my note and see how it goes from there.

deprived · Jan 2, 2006, 05:45 PM

I'll put it in his wallet. Thanks for the advice,all of you. :) I know now where to go to when I'm feeling down, or depressed. Bless you all. <33

manutd4eva · Jan 2, 2006, 05:47 PM

Hope it works out for you and remember you can always come back

nwsflash · Jan 3, 2006, 11:15 AM

Originally Posted by deprived

I'll put it in his wallet. Thanks for the advice,all of you. :) I know now where to go to when im feeling down, or depressed. Bless you all. <33

You are always welcome to come here and get things off your chest the door is open 24/7 and there is nearly always someone around... I hope that things work out OK for you and wish you luck in getting this problem fixed!

I also think that the letter to your dad is a brilliant idear.:cool:

Chery · Jan 3, 2006, 11:50 AM

Dear deprived, first of all welcome to the forum and I hope you stay on, as we will be here for you 24/7, just as someone said.
I'm a 55 year old woman who was abused the same way by a mother who could not utter a kind word toward me all her life. She tried to abort me, ridiculed me all my life, chased away my friends, and drove my father away and my step-dad to drinking until he died. So you see, these things have gone on for decades. Luckily now though, there are help groups where victims like you can get help and support from, even if you don't want to 'turn him in' it's still emotionally helpful for you to get support for yourself. Unfortunately, we cannot change others - they have to change themselves - but we can change ourselves by keeping a healthy and positive attitude and not let things others do to us bring us down. As said before, your dad probably was maltreated himself and knows no other way to communicate, but it still hurts. The pain and frustration you are going though will help you get stronger and also help you in your plans in the future on how to treat a family when you have one of your own. Other than that, unless you do turn him in - the only alternative is to leave and make your own life as stable and peaceful as possible. When the time comes and you are older, you'll maybe get the chance to 'tell him off' but don't count on it. Just do the best that you can for your own survival and I wish you a great future - knowing what not to do - will give you a head-start. I don't know what you put in the letter to him, or the outcome - but I hope it did help you a little. At any rate, don't forget - you've got a family here with us any time. Good Luck.

Keep a brighter outlook on life by seeing other's mistakes.

talaniman · Jan 4, 2006, 01:10 AM

:) Great advice Chery and we all can feel that from your heart!:cool: